DS5's friend caught me on the toilet - WWYD

[comebackmargaret]

Long-time lurker, and finally I have a reason to post in AIBU.

DS and his friend (both 5) had a playdate at our home yesterday. All was well, they were playing quietly with Legos downstairs so I went upstairs to read Mumsnet go to the loo. I hadn't been there very long (5 mins max) when the door burst open (old house, broken toilet lock) and DS's friend was standing there looking as surprised as I was. I said, oops! and he shut the door and ran away. I went downstairs and he was back in the living room with DS.

I asked friend if he needed anything, like the toilet, and he replied that no, he had been exploring the house. All seemed ok, boys played well, friend's mum came to pick him up on time, I made no mention of the toilet incident, everything ok.

At night friend's mum texted me to say she'd heard about the toilet incident from her son. It was "inappropriate" for her son to have found me in "such a compromising position" and that she would have to "think carefully about any future playdates."

I was literally sitting on the loo with nothing visible apart from cellulitey thighs!

I am now sitting on my hands because I just want to text back all sorts of rude words, but the boys have turned out to be really good friends and I am hoping their friendship won't be affected by something like this. WWYD?

Also my toilet is too far from the door to slam it shut if someone tries to come in!

@Notan - so a child walks into a firmly shut toilet - doesn't matter if there's a lock on the door or not, the door was firmly shut.

The child doesn't actually want to use the toilet so was just being nosy and poking about the house. He ended up getting more than he bargained for. Bet he won't do that again. Life lesson taught - knock before you enter through a closed door and don't poke about other peoples homes without permission.

Goodness knows what his mum does if his dad takes him to a public loo when they're out and about - does he wear blinkers when he uses the urinal? Cos he'll definitely see more there than he did in the OP's house!

We don't have any locks on any of our toilets or bathrooms - guests know that if the door is shut there is likely to be someone in there so knock. And my DS's friends also know they don't go into a room if the door is shut. Only one child has ever disobeyed that rule and my son and his other friends soon told him off when he was caught trampolining on our bed. Never did it again.

A firmly shut toilet? Wouldn't want one of them in my house!

I meant a toilet with a firmly shut door. Of course....

@notan I can't reach the door in any of my bathrooms if I'm on the loo. Maybe that wasn't an option! She was sat on the loo with the door shut - how on earth are you getting from that that she was in the wrong?!

Haha I used to sit in John Lewis toilets with the door open because I couldn’t get my pram into the cubicle. Isn’t it just a mum thing that everyone sees everything whenever necessary!

Maybe the kid has explained it weirdly and she doesn’t actually know what’s happened?! Xx

I know a lot of people who remove the bathroom lock when they have small children to prevent locked in dramas! It’s one thing I hate about using the loo in other people’s houses. So if it worries the mum so much she either needs to teach her child not to open doors in other people’s houses, check that houses where he is visiting have functional locks on the loo or keep him at home. I would be wary of having this child visit again as I would wonder what else would trigger an over reaction from the mother.

Ha ha some people are so weird.

He's 5. I'd be worried that he is so bothered by it!!!!

Text back
" OMG! What on earth did your son say happened !!!
I would be nice if you had asked the grown up what happened before jumping to all sorts .... He walked in on me on the loo end saw nothing if my body what so ever, what do you think is so inappropriate ? Yes I do want to re think play dates "

With small kids most houses don't have lockable loo doors so to my mind you haven't done anything wrong. I'd text "not sure what you imagined happened but he walked in on me in the loo. So insignificant as not to worth mentioning. Sorry if you feel differently."

Sorry now read more of the thread. @Notan you are seriously strange.

If that was my child telling me I’d have said “ooops! I hope you said sorry for bursting in without knocking,” and possibly “why were you wandering around someone else’s house I’d you didn’t need the toilet?” Never would it occur to me to blame the homeowner/invitee. She’s defo odd

You should have told her at pick up. And you should get a bathroom lock.

Op do you have two Vulvas or a penis? How are your bits so different?

We need a diagram

I'm jealous of your unusual bits. Personally I would have dragged the big mirror into the bathroom reinacted the scene to check what the little fucker actually saw...... But that's just me

🤣🤣 This kid has obviously never seen his mum naked. Mine have to endure this on a daily basis, barging into the bathroom when I’m in the shower / on the toilet / getting dressed... shielding your kids from the everyday norm really does not do them any favours. Seeing someone on the toilet is really a non issue. Bat shit crazy doesn’t cover it 🤣🤣🤣

the little scrote barged in whilst I was having a shit
😂😂😂

My children are young adults and i swear they only want to speak to me if i'm on the toilet.

They always sound so disappointed and put out that i am in the bathroom AGAIN. ???

i have been their mother their entire lives but their timing is seriously infallible. If i use the toilet once in 4 hours, they need to ask an IMPORTANT question when i'm unavailable.

If im lucky enough to manage to use the toilet without them asking me a question (from outside the door), our cat opens the door and inquires catly things. Then lies on the rug at my feet.

OP. I may have told the friend's mother only bc i know kids talk and parents can be overprotective. Next time, push laundry hamper against the door.

Ahhhh ha ha hilarious, the other mother is insane. So many things you could say, grow up seems relevant.

Proper belly laughed at this 🤣🤣

I’d run a mile. It’s s shame your kids get on but she’s a nutter. At this age you have to have a relationship with the parents unfortunately. Not worth it.

Oh my, why couldn't she have just spoken to you and asked what happened?

I'd be inclined to put her straight and say her son was wandering around while you were on the loo and instead of knocking he just burst in, not that he saw much anyway but maybe she needs to have a talk with him about how you should behave as a guest in someones home instead of her overreaction.

She sounds like a right drama queen.

Frankly I think that as mothers most of us are wondering HOW THE HELL DID SHE KEEP HIM OUT OF THE LOO FOR FIVE YEARS?????!!!

It's not just me, is it? What I'd give to have a quiet poo, uninterrupted by the monologue of a toddler!

Actually, I shouldn't say that. We all know that if you ever get to have uninterrupted toilet time it can only really ever be because the child is doing something worse, like opening a pack of flour and spreading it artistically around your hardest-to-clean carpet.

Why don't people read the thread before posting?
OP had shut the door.
Rant over.

The thread is not that exciting. Something happens. Mother misinterprets what happened. It all gets cleared out.

But some of the comments are pure gold.

DD when little barged into the bathroom while my ftiend was on the toilet(in her house) looked her straight in the eye and asked her for her bath bombs. To get rid of her, friend said yes. DD picked one up and happily skipped out of the room. Yes DD was a dick as a toddler. Yes someone was traumatised, my friend!!!