DS5's friend caught me on the toilet - WWYD

[comebackmargaret]

Long-time lurker, and finally I have a reason to post in AIBU.

DS and his friend (both 5) had a playdate at our home yesterday. All was well, they were playing quietly with Legos downstairs so I went upstairs to read Mumsnet go to the loo. I hadn't been there very long (5 mins max) when the door burst open (old house, broken toilet lock) and DS's friend was standing there looking as surprised as I was. I said, oops! and he shut the door and ran away. I went downstairs and he was back in the living room with DS.

I asked friend if he needed anything, like the toilet, and he replied that no, he had been exploring the house. All seemed ok, boys played well, friend's mum came to pick him up on time, I made no mention of the toilet incident, everything ok.

At night friend's mum texted me to say she'd heard about the toilet incident from her son. It was "inappropriate" for her son to have found me in "such a compromising position" and that she would have to "think carefully about any future playdates."

I was literally sitting on the loo with nothing visible apart from cellulitey thighs!

I am now sitting on my hands because I just want to text back all sorts of rude words, but the boys have turned out to be really good friends and I am hoping their friendship won't be affected by something like this. WWYD?

If she kicks up a big stink, tell her to bog off and mind her own business.

@InsomniacAnonymous well, I have some righteous underwear.......

Some little kids (especially boys in my experience) love talking about toilets, weeing and pooing. It sounds as if she was blaming you for her ds toilet talking and got cross. Hence the text.

@Tinkobell it was just a flash in the pan.....

Crikey she's odd. If ended up with several children in the toilet with me when out and about as couldn't trust them to stay put

When you say she "gave [you] another embarrassed smile" do you mean she looked flushed?

her Text to you was Weird OP glad someone else has cellulite yahooo me too

With regard to the underwear story .They were Mormons and have as I have since found out since they have so called 'Sacred Garments ' which are white muslin and are blessed by the leader of their church.

OP you would be probably better not to bother with another playdate as she will probably find something else' inappropriate' some people see sexual innuendo in even the simplest of things but its sad when kids have to be dragged into it.

If this is true then she's mental.

Yup.

There’s something odd both about her DS’s description of what happened and her text.

Personally I would hesitate before having the child round again.

She just texted me apologising for her DS giggling. Said last night when he kept talking about seeing me and making references to his own bits, she started to get upset. Her DS hasn't really seen her on the toilet much, apparently.

What!? I really thought you were going to say she had put “it was inappropriate that my son opened the door on you like that, sorry”. As it is I would expect a message like this if the person had really dry wit and was taking the piss (as it were!). If she’s being completely straight then....wow! She is obviously of the Victorian era

She will look back on this and cringe

If it makes you feel better when ds was 5 he walked into my neighbours house (she lived across the hall from us and we were often in each other's houses) when she was in the bath. Ds didn't blink an eye and just asked if she knew where I was (I was out the back hanging up washing). She told him no and he just walked out again. Ds is a grown man now and doesn't remember but me and neighbour often laugh about it. No harm done.

Still weird.

The fact he keeps going on about it suggests that it's something he's never really experienced before. Most kids I know of that age, especially my own nieces and nephews, wouldn't really think anything of it and I doubt would even mention it, as walking in when someone's on the loo surely isn't that unusual an occurrence or some sort of taboo when you're five years old. They'd just continue nattering away to me completely oblivious!

“Bottom looked different” must be a reference to your foof, and if he’s never really seen his own mum on the toilet, probably just never really seen what a woman has down there. She probably needs a little chat with him. Her issue, not yours, so don’t worry about it.

Her DS hasn't really seen her on the toilet much, apparently.
She should write a book, millions of mothers all over the world would love to know how she manages to go to the loo on her own

Just explain what happened, and don't invite her child over without her again, as sooner or later there will be some other accusation based on half a story that he has told her.

(I bet she is 'that' parent at school as well.)

She and her family are weird....
Try not to give it another thought...
Let the kids relationship develop naturally...but I would definitely be avoiding anything other than acknowledgements with her..
She's lucky that she doesn't have anything else to stress over.

Your bottom looked......different 🤣🤣🤣

What's compromising about it? Your safety wasn't. His safety wasn't. Strange person but being kind, she may have had experience of SA and be sensitive.

Aww so all's well. She's texted to explain and apologise and all is well again.

"think carefully about any future playdates."

In response to someone using the word legos, I think that response is entirely reasonable.

I dont think I would have the child over again. The mother sounds a bit odd as does the fact that the boy was still mentioning it the day after. How has she managed to prevent him from catching a glimpse of her 'different bottom' for 5 years? Maybe she wears the religious garment things too. When I go to the toilet my youngest Dd asks me without fail whether im having a wee, a poo or both.