DS5's friend caught me on the toilet - WWYD

[comebackmargaret]

Long-time lurker, and finally I have a reason to post in AIBU.

DS and his friend (both 5) had a playdate at our home yesterday. All was well, they were playing quietly with Legos downstairs so I went upstairs to read Mumsnet go to the loo. I hadn't been there very long (5 mins max) when the door burst open (old house, broken toilet lock) and DS's friend was standing there looking as surprised as I was. I said, oops! and he shut the door and ran away. I went downstairs and he was back in the living room with DS.

I asked friend if he needed anything, like the toilet, and he replied that no, he had been exploring the house. All seemed ok, boys played well, friend's mum came to pick him up on time, I made no mention of the toilet incident, everything ok.

At night friend's mum texted me to say she'd heard about the toilet incident from her son. It was "inappropriate" for her son to have found me in "such a compromising position" and that she would have to "think carefully about any future playdates."

I was literally sitting on the loo with nothing visible apart from cellulitey thighs!

I am now sitting on my hands because I just want to text back all sorts of rude words, but the boys have turned out to be really good friends and I am hoping their friendship won't be affected by something like this. WWYD?

I bet she doesn’t fart in front of her husband either.

Wowsers. What a weirdo. You are definitely NBU. She’s a fruitcake.

Depending on the position of the loo relative to the door, the most he would have seen would have been the very top of your thigh, maybe side of buttock.
He may have said to his mum that he saw xx mum on loo and saw her bottom.
"Bottom" means different things to different people. She might have thought he saw more than you think

Hi all,
Thanks to those who expressed their concerns that this is the return of the poo troll privately through the reports system. In fact, everything seems fine from this side of the proceedings and while we can never 100% guarantee that people are who they say they are (etc etc) based on what we can see we're very much inclined to give this OP the benefit of the doubt.

Text this...
It is OK, your son didn't knock on the closed door of the loo, I didn't want to embarrass him in front of you so was going to tell you.
Thank you for your appology.
But he is only 5. So I think we can both forgive him for going exploring in a strange house.

It's her use of formal language in the text that got my back up. Previous texts were normal, cheerful. This one sounds ridiculous.

I didn't mention it to her at pickup because I thought it wasn't a big deal. DS and his sister have walked in on me countless times, I must be immune to it or something.

Anyway I'll probably see her at school in a bit because the boys always come out together - no way to avoid her. As previous posters have said, I'll probably say something breezy along the lines of 'no way to pee in peace, eh!' and try to laugh it off.

You've done nothing wrong OP! I do make sure I lock the door if there are other peoples kids in the house but it would be no big deal if this were to happen.

Only thing I would have done differently - possibly have just mentioned it to mum when she picked him up!

Oh wow. I'm not a troll! And I have no idea what the poo troll thread is about!

Inappropriate and reevaluating your relationship

You sure they don't post here?

I think something like what Mykingdom said is good. Weird woman. One of dds friends totaly ruined their friendship for something similar. As in the girl refused to talk to dd for 6 months. Absolute besties until half way through yr1. It was horrible at the time. Dd was destroyed. Looking back it was a blessing in disguise. I wouldn’t want dd to be long term besties with a child, who’s parents are like this. The little girl isn’t very nice to dd still and they’re yr6.

If one of my sons told me he did that I would have been cross at him and told him to never open closed doors in someones home again without knocking first.

Say Yes, it certainly was inappropriate, and you are glad she has apologized as you think he should have better manners than to go exploring someone else's house and opening closed doors.

I'd ask 'exactly what did he tell you happened?'
on reflection, this. ^

I really really hate going to the toilet in houses without a lock. I would see about getting a new lock or even just a catch (hook type) on the inside, high up if you don't want your children to use it.

But yes, other mum is a bit weird and i agree no issue for the child if you weren't embarrassed.

I absolutely agree but we're happy to have him back when he's a bit older and can be trusted to knock. Don't worry though honestly. He didn't see anything anyway and DS didn't learn to knock until he was at least 3! Insert text version of a tinkly laugh.

Jobs a goodun

Definitely clarify what he told his mum.

WWID? I'd fix the lock.

Perhaps it's the not telling her that has got her concerned?

Seems as if he took the chance to "explore" as soon as you were out of sight though.

Must be tempting to say that she's not the only one who needs to think about playdates as her son's "exploring" was disconcerting.

Wtf?

I can’t believe she is even making a thing of this!

Are you in a very conservative part of America op - you said legos (not lego) and playdate. It's such an odd reaction to such a non incident.

Bizarre. I think if I were her I'd just make a joking apology and hope that you hadn't been embarrassed! I'd wonder what he actually said to provoke that kind of reaction.

God, I remember when I was about 12/13 and having a wee at my granddad's. I hadn't fastened the dodgy lock properly and my cousin, who must have been 8 or 9, just wandered in and started chatting to me, completely unconcerned. Obviously at that age I was reaching the 'very embarrassed about my body' stage so I just sat stricken on the toilet until he got bored and wandered away again I double-checked that lock every time after, that's for sure!