DS5's friend caught me on the toilet - WWYD

[comebackmargaret]

Long-time lurker, and finally I have a reason to post in AIBU.

DS and his friend (both 5) had a playdate at our home yesterday. All was well, they were playing quietly with Legos downstairs so I went upstairs to read Mumsnet go to the loo. I hadn't been there very long (5 mins max) when the door burst open (old house, broken toilet lock) and DS's friend was standing there looking as surprised as I was. I said, oops! and he shut the door and ran away. I went downstairs and he was back in the living room with DS.

I asked friend if he needed anything, like the toilet, and he replied that no, he had been exploring the house. All seemed ok, boys played well, friend's mum came to pick him up on time, I made no mention of the toilet incident, everything ok.

At night friend's mum texted me to say she'd heard about the toilet incident from her son. It was "inappropriate" for her son to have found me in "such a compromising position" and that she would have to "think carefully about any future playdates."

I was literally sitting on the loo with nothing visible apart from cellulitey thighs!

I am now sitting on my hands because I just want to text back all sorts of rude words, but the boys have turned out to be really good friends and I am hoping their friendship won't be affected by something like this. WWYD?

Oh FFS! she must be the last of the Victorians!

You realise you will now be ostracised from polite society now, OP? Mothers will cover their child's face when they see you approaching......

We don't have locks

If you want the boys to remain friends I’d bite my tongue on this one. Id text something like, yes it was a bit embarassing! However the boys play really well etc and it would be a shame to lose out for them in the future. I’ll be teaching the boys to knock and fixing the lock on the bathroom so it won’t happen again.

She’s pretty rude though!

Honestly I think the bigger issue is that you didn't address if with her yesterday. So her DS has gone home and perhaps said "I saw friend's mom without her clothes on" or something similar. I'd my kids told me the same thing I'd be more than a little bit upset. The fact you hadn't said anything would have me thinking all sorts of unpleasant things about you I'm afraid.

I would never have thought to mention it to the mother as it was a non event.

I'm not sure I'd lock the door while having two small kids alone in the house, anyway, even there had been a working lock. Not sure why, it just seems safer to me not to for some reason, just in case one of them needed me in a hurry or was coming in for a legitimate reason.

She sound like a loon, txt her a link to this thread. Dont feel bad at all OP!

(But then again we never lock our bathroom door except when there's visitors so if the lock broke, it wouldn't be high on our list of things to fix!)

If I was her, I'd be telling him not to open closed doors in other people's houses and apologising to you when I saw you. How weird of her!

@Chilver Tue 27-Nov-18 14:36:46

I'd text back saying 'I agree, perhaps its best to teach your DS now that its not appropriate to wander off and explore someone else's house uninvited and it might stop him putting himself and adults in inapropriate situations'

This.

I presume you were having a pee/poo, and not a quick wank whilst watching porn on your phone, so she is so over the top it's untrue.

I would text her back and ask what "incident"? Explain that the only thing that happened was that he burst in on you whilst on the loo, and therefore you cannot understand what is "inappropriate".

Also, we put a pencil in our bathroom lock (I can't remember what the mechanism is called) - could that work for you?

She sounds very odd!

Oh to be at your school gate OP!

Odd response. Ds's friend walked in on me in the bath once when they were about 8, his mum and I had a good laugh about it and I joked about traumatising her son. Same thing had happened to her with one of her older son's friends, so even more embarrassing, for him anyway. Her son will see more flesh on show at the swimming pool fgs.

What a strange text! WTAF did her son say happened?!

How odd , in my house toilet doors are rarely shut and never locked, yes it might be a bit embarrassing if someone walked in but not the end of the world, I’m sure the little boy didn’t see anything (you were sat down), his mother sounds odd to me.

Just being devils advocate, are you 100% sure she wasn't joking and it was meant as a tongue in cheek text? Just with you saying the language was very formal compared to her normal texts......

It sounds like exactly the kind of text I would send my friends, but they would know I was joking straight away iyswim?

If she's not then she's a fruit loop

I’d reply ‘incident?’

Either she’s batshit crazy and living in a different century or her little darling has given her an overly embossed version of how he crept in for a wee to find you wiping your bottom and admiring the contents... kids are great at embellishment.

If she’s going batshit at a simple walk in incident agree to postpone until he’s learnt some manners!

Ah this reminds me of the first time I stayed at my DH's house when he was my boyfriend. I'd spent all day trying to impress his mum so she didn't think I was corrupting her darling boy, all was well and went to bed as model girlfriend. Woke up in the night needing a wee, stumbled across the corridor in the dark (wasn't sure where the light switch was) and found the bathroom door wide open with his mum sitting on the toilet in the dark. I let out a few startled choice swear words and undid all the good work of the day. We've never spoken of it since and to this day DH doesn't know 😂.

OP, other mum overreacted. Not your fault. Think of it as a result-one less play date to worry about :)

There was a thread once where people were telling the OP to go no contact with her mil because her sons had caught a glimpse of her dashing between bathroom and bedroom sans towel. Maybe your ds’s friends mum was one of the posters on that thread?

oh good grief.he came into the toilet you didn't invite him in there to watch you!

He obviously caught sight of it being Mumsnet and she doesn't want her children exposed to that sort of adult entertainment She's probably a Netmum...

I’d text back saying “not sure why you’re questioning future play dates, what exactly did your DS say happened exactly? Just to be clear, he went upstairs in my house on his own and opened the door while I was on the toilet. He couldn’t have seen very much so I didn’t think it was worth mentioning, but next time I will be clear that he shouldn’t wander around the house by himself”