DS5's friend caught me on the toilet - WWYD

[comebackmargaret]

Long-time lurker, and finally I have a reason to post in AIBU.

DS and his friend (both 5) had a playdate at our home yesterday. All was well, they were playing quietly with Legos downstairs so I went upstairs to read Mumsnet go to the loo. I hadn't been there very long (5 mins max) when the door burst open (old house, broken toilet lock) and DS's friend was standing there looking as surprised as I was. I said, oops! and he shut the door and ran away. I went downstairs and he was back in the living room with DS.

I asked friend if he needed anything, like the toilet, and he replied that no, he had been exploring the house. All seemed ok, boys played well, friend's mum came to pick him up on time, I made no mention of the toilet incident, everything ok.

At night friend's mum texted me to say she'd heard about the toilet incident from her son. It was "inappropriate" for her son to have found me in "such a compromising position" and that she would have to "think carefully about any future playdates."

I was literally sitting on the loo with nothing visible apart from cellulitey thighs!

I am now sitting on my hands because I just want to text back all sorts of rude words, but the boys have turned out to be really good friends and I am hoping their friendship won't be affected by something like this. WWYD?

😂😂😂🤣🤣

I think it's worth checking what exactly her son told her he saw. Kids are prone to exaggeration and may have said he'd seen you naked or something?

I raise you dd's ex bf's dm!!
She came to my door last week - there an hour - complaining dd had made her ds cry at school by finishing him.
He is 12, dd 11!!

Batshit.
And her ds was in the car looking suitably mortified!!
Sheer shock that stopped me closing the door on her tbh!!

This is just silly. What would you have done if you’d taken the children out somewhere?! I’ve been to the toilet in front of loads of my kids friends up to the age where they can reasonably be expected to wait outside a loo in a public place (which might depend on the place, but no younger than 5/6). Before then I’d have used the disabled toilet in somewhere like a museum or the cinema and just taken them in with me and asked them to face the door. I did once have a conversation with friends about how to manage these situations and we agreed we’d all do similar. Not a big deal.

Snowwontbelong I don't even know what that means.

I would text back and say 'not to worry, but it's probably worth having a little word with him about roaming around the house and NOT KNOCKING! before wandering through a closed door'

I'd want to know what was said! My reply would be along the lines of "your ds walked in on me while I was on the look. It was accidental and at worst he saw my cellulite thighs so I didn't feel it worth mentioning. Has your ds suggested something more than this as I'm baffled by your reaction?"

Oh dear, how was school pick up?!

I'd text back and let her know that this wouldn't have happened if her child had been taught to knock before entering a room.

Then look forward to never having to deal with her or her son ever again. I'm sure your DS will make friends with other children in his school, who have more "normal" mums.

Something similar happened to me over 10 yrs ago while we were living in America .My son also aged about 5 had a little friend over for a playdate.We had a creek at the bottom of the garden that they were fishing in and so obviously got wet.I gave him clean clothes to wear and thought nothing of it.Lo and behold the mom corners me the next day saying that her son had been 'traumatised' by the underpants I had given him and that my behaviour in giving him such sexy underwear (HM boxer shorts )was very 'inappropriate'.They were devout members of a Christian religion and had 'special undergarments' . she added that she hadn't had the chance to prepare him for wearing such non religious underwear.She left saying again that it wouldn't be 'appropriate 'anymore for the kids to play with each other.they were in school together and were on the same baseball team and my poor little fella didn't understand at all what he had happened.they never did have a playdate again.

Spoke to the other mum at school. She said her son told her he had seen me in the toilet and I had no pants on and my bottom looked "different"?! I said I had just been sitting on the loo, nothing special and explained why I hadn't mentioned it the day before.

The boys came out, DS's friend saw me and kept giggling and said "now your pants are on!" and his mother looked embarrassed and explained how it's not right to walk in on someone in the toilet and that of course you take your pants off to go to the toilet. More giggling. Mum shuffled her son off, gave me another embarrassed smile before she left. So I guess her weird text was just... weird?

non religious underwear WTF? Now I'm curious as to what religious underwear looks like.

@snowwontbelong i hope you told.her, her son was a drama lama nd you can see where he gets it from?!

Mormons I suppose

Perhaps he saw more than you realised?
Either way, he shouldn't of made it sound like he was the victim, where else are you supposed to go toilet?!

I am cracking up at 'traumatised by underpants'. Bahaha!

I'm also intrigued as to what kind of bottom you have now, OP

Sorry about your different bottom though OP

Well I just wouldn't have him over again after that, OP. He's obviously never going to stop mentioning it and giggling. Although I suppose the other mother isn't going to let him come to yours again anyway.

Different bottom 😂

Maybe his mum has a really weird bottom so he's never seen a 'normal' one before, and that's why she's so sensitive about it Now he'll be asking questions about her odd bottom.

Or maybe you do have an odd bottom and this is the wake-up call you needed to find answers.

I think Id simply say “Oh, I didn’t think it was really an issue. The lock on the door is broken and the door was shut. We’re all used to knocking before we open the door. Sorry if you’re upset but he didn’t see anything inappropriate.”

Oops sorry, just seen update....

I would reply and say “I am not sure what your son may have told you but the reality was that I was sat on the toilet, behind a closed door, when he decided take it upon himself to explore the house and enter without knocking. He had already been asked if he needed anything and said he did not, so I had mistakenly assumed he could be trusted to stay put instead of looking round my house without permission. I can only imagine that you are thinking carefully about future play dates because of your embarrassment of his behaviour.”

I would avoid getting into a text discussion on this. I would call her and explain the situation, end of. If after explaining she still doesn't want the little darling to visit, good bloody ridance.

Argh maybe my cellulite problem is worse than I thought?!?!

Really nothing to see here!