DS5's friend caught me on the toilet - WWYD

[comebackmargaret]

Long-time lurker, and finally I have a reason to post in AIBU.

DS and his friend (both 5) had a playdate at our home yesterday. All was well, they were playing quietly with Legos downstairs so I went upstairs to read Mumsnet go to the loo. I hadn't been there very long (5 mins max) when the door burst open (old house, broken toilet lock) and DS's friend was standing there looking as surprised as I was. I said, oops! and he shut the door and ran away. I went downstairs and he was back in the living room with DS.

I asked friend if he needed anything, like the toilet, and he replied that no, he had been exploring the house. All seemed ok, boys played well, friend's mum came to pick him up on time, I made no mention of the toilet incident, everything ok.

At night friend's mum texted me to say she'd heard about the toilet incident from her son. It was "inappropriate" for her son to have found me in "such a compromising position" and that she would have to "think carefully about any future playdates."

I was literally sitting on the loo with nothing visible apart from cellulitey thighs!

I am now sitting on my hands because I just want to text back all sorts of rude words, but the boys have turned out to be really good friends and I am hoping their friendship won't be affected by something like this. WWYD?

I agree about not having him over again, ever

@bringbackthestripes

Bless her she sounds a little highly strung. She is probably cringing herself inside out at the moment.

I would’ve mentioned it at pick up tbh, but her reaction is way OTT.

Going to the toilet on your own is simple though especially at 5. And no my toilet doesn't have a lock. They would follow me and we would talk with the door between them. By the age of 5, they were aware that a door is locked you knock. They are also in school and will witness others knocking on doors not just barging in.

She seems to have underlying issues I wouldn’t have him around again to be honest. If she questions your behaviour as tho you were in the wrong . Could she maybe stay over at the next play date have a coffee .

Bloody hell! I don't think I've had a peaceful pee in 20 years! Indeed recently, my neighbour's little boy walked in on me having a wee in my en-suite IN MY BEDROOM and then tried to start a conversation! I don't think he twigged that I was on the loo. I didn't know what to do with myself so I said "can you not just open the door like that please, I'm in the loo, go downstairs and I'll come and talk to you in a minute". Off he went. Nobody's mentioned it since. While her message was definitely weird, they obviously have issues about bodies and bodily functions so I'd probably steer well clear in future..

"My bottom looked......different"

because it wasn't your bottom; it was the toilet bowl !

She said her son told her he had seen me in the toilet and I had no pants on and my bottom looked "different"?!

What the actual fuck is she on about?

I think it was inappropriate of her ds to burst in on you like that. I would have told him off.

Stupid woman!

As you want your child's friendship to continue do not make a big deal out of this.
This situation occurred as you had not locked the toilet door as it was broken, your fault if there is any.
Message back and apologise explaining that the lock was broken and that it would be fixed.
That's it.

Attack being the best form of defence, she is going after you when she knows her son was out of order. Invite her to speak to her boy about his behaviour!

I agree with others, it only happened because her son thinks it is okay to nose around someone else's house unaccompanied. She should teach him some manners. He was in the wrong not you, it's your house and your bathroom for goodness sake!

Don’t engage. She’s clearly a fucking fruit loop.

I find all of this hard to believe

Bobster and your point is?

It's nice that she has apologised. Sounds as though she has a few hang ups.

Her DS hasn't really seen her on the toilet much, apparently.

How?? I don't even have children but I haven't escaped a visit to the loo with friends' toddlers!

I would reply. It would be odd not to. You don't have to be chippy or aggressive, but you can be clear and firm.

'Yes, I was in the loo upstairs, and somehow by exploring around the house, he burst in on me. It was a little embarrassing, but didn't seem a big deal and there was nothing to see! Please do let me know what you have a problem with and I hope we can sort it out because the boys seem to be good friends.'

In the end, he was 5 and 5 year olds can get lost in houses and do nosy about a bit - I wouldn't make a big thing of that - that would just be defensiveness and trying to shift the issue. But at the same time, it really is a non-event and you should be firm with the other mum about that.

That said,nic she continues to make a thing of it, I might feel and say that it might be better if he didn't come round again.

Reminds me of the scene in Mad Men when Glen who is about 5 spies on Betty on the loo - anyone remember that!!

Sorry, just read the update.

Put it down to some people being ridiculously precious and prone to over-reaction. They are out there and unfortunately you'll probably encounter more alomg the parenting journey.....but hopefully not too many!

Poor you. What happened is a quite common occurrence. One of my children's friends caught me coming out of the bathroom starkers once, I was on my way to the bedroom and had no idea anyone was upstairs. I just went into the bedroom and nothing was ever said.

The child's mum was quite rude and unreasonable.

Oh fgs, it's the Mum being unreasonable the child should know not to barge in through closed doors especially in homes belonging to other people.

She’s sounds like a knob unless the son has told a different version of it xx

I don't understand OP unless you piss in a really extravagant standing position with a leg cocked, how could he see your groin? you had a top on, maybe a skirt or trousers? Was your minge sitting very high, like somewhere near your waist? WTAF did he SEE?!!

Some people just go on the attack as an unbalaced for of defence, as she proably knows the child was wrong but doesn’t want to face up to it. She has a problem, thinking that children see the world as adults do.