To ask how many people are haplily marrried to their soul mate and how many people feel they 'settled'?

[Desperatetobeamummyonedaysoon]

As title suggests.. im not looking for judgements and ceiticism but interested to know if many women on here spent their 20s and early 30s focussed on their career and independence etc and suffendly mid 30s panicked, wanted a family and 'settled'? Im 37 soon and realistically times running out for a family.. do you settle for a decent guy and have a family knowing thr relationship may not last or do you 'hold out for true love' and run the very real risk of missing out on longed for children??

I'm 36 and I'm 32 weeks pregnant to my absolutely amazing husband. I have definitely not settled, I'd rather have been single than settle for someone who wasn't right.

Bit of a weird dichotomy imo. I def feel "soul mate" rather than "settled" but he is fundementally a decent bloke (hence soul mate, I was done with tempestuous romances by my mid 20s -too stressful) and that still doesn't mean it hasnt been bloody tough at times. We had kids, not rode away into the sunset.

I got lucky and met my husband when I was 24. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and genuinely my best friend [Vom!]. We have been together 20 years now.

It is possible to go it alone for those longed for children... don't settle x

My DH is someone who I'd class as my soul mate, I don't think I'd ever want to "settle". I think I'd be happy enough on my.own which I think I'd rather than just setting

I definitely haven’t (and wouldn’t) settle.

Neither. Dp isn't perfect by a long shot, and neither am I. Neither of us settled, we just know that you have to work hard at relationships.

I haven't settled, but I'm also single!!

I do wonder if I'll get to a similar point though if it were a possibility I meant end up without kids.

I don’t believe in the concept of soul-mates.

I didn’t settle for ex-H. It was absolutely the right choice.

I’m now happily single for life. Maybe I’m my own soul-mate

Settled

Definitely didn’t settle, my DH is absolutely magic and I can’t imagine how it could ever get better than this.

I don’t think you should settle - life is too long to share it with someone you aren’t really happy with.

Anyone I’ve ever heard calling their OH their soulmate is wishful thinking. It’s usually a good indicator that all is not well.

In your situation I would investigate becoming a single parent with donor sperm.

DC can put a huge strain on a relationship, so if you’re not that into it to start off with it’s unlikely to end well.

Yes, “soulmate” is like “the one”. Trite!

I love my DH and wouldn't say I've settled but I don't really believe in the concept of soulmates. I think there are probably a number of other people I could have been compatible with. I just didn't happen to meet them!

I settled. Or possibly a better way of looking at it is that I rushed into a relationship with the first person who showed serious interest in me after a long term relationship break up. The relationship is not good because fundamentally we don't get on.

"I don’t believe in the concept of soul-mates."

You sound a little cynical and bitter. I think if you haven't met your "soul mate" you think such a thing doesn't exist.

"Anyone I’ve ever heard calling their OH their soulmate is wishful thinking. It’s usually a good indicator that all is not well."

Sour grapes?

I met DH when I was 20 and was smitten straight away, as was he. Next week is the 40th anniversary of when we met, and we are still happily together.

Settled. I value stability but do yearn for that best friends emotional connection we just don't have.

I don’t believe in soul mates but I definitely haven’t settled with dh; I’ve won the lottery.

We’ve been together for a long time (since we were 20) and I do feel grateful that we met each other when we did but we’ve also grown up together because of it. It also doesn’t mean everything is perfect - relationships take a lot of work from both parties.

However having dc is both the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done and even our v strong relationship has been pushed at times. I would rather do it on my own than with someone I didn’t feel totally suited for.

He was my soul mate when we met and we were young and in a love bubble and naive. Now we've been married 17 years and have children were mostly just pleased we haven't killed each other

I don't feel like I settled. I love DH but as we've gotten older I'm more appreciative that we both understand that to stay in love, takes bloody hard work and effort. That in itself is love as far as I'm concerned. Not giving up at silly things, having respect and trust. All those things make us 'us' and define our love.

We've been to hell and back and both of us can be utter shits at times. For better or worse and good times and bad lives well in us.

Don't settle. You don't need a partner in order to have a child. The partner could come along later.

You sound a little cynical and bitter. I think if you haven't met your "soul mate" you think such a thing doesn't exist

Not at all. I don’t believe in all the countless people in the world there is one whose “soul” matches mine. I imagine there are countless people everyone would be happy with if they met them.

I like the essay by Alain de Botton on this - "why you're probably married to the wrong person". I don't believe in soulmates. I do believe in making a relationship work when there are more things right than wrong with it. If that sounds a bit like hard work - well, sometimes it is. But I wouldn't be without him either.

No don’t settle for children you will regret it.

I believe I am with my soul mate but I was young when we met (25) and he was my boss, it sounds corny but I knew he was the one in the interview .

Gah.

*the most rewarding and the hardest

I’m very happily married to a wonderful man. I don’t, however believe in the soulmate claptrap.