DP letting DD go near his genital area

[BlueRose28]

I feel really bad for making a thing out of this and I know I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill. Best be safe than sorry though.

I have been with DP for 2 years and DD was conceived within 2 months of me dating him, and within 1 year of me knowing him. I got pregnant due to a contraceptive fail.

DD always runs to DP with open arms and DP is very guilty of 'man-spreading'. Sometimes her head lands in his genital area and he will make no effort to remove her head. I've quickly had to move my hand in front of her face before because she was going in to kiss his genital area and DP (fully aware of what DD was doing) made no effort to remove her or lift her up so she could kiss his face.

When I speak to him about it and I say it's really not appropriate to let DD go near his genitals with her hands or face, he just shrugs it off and jokes around. He jokes about the size of his manhood saying 'well I don't have much there anyway'.

Am I right in being concerned or am I really making a mountain out of a molehill? Not exactly the type of stuff I want to post on Mumsnet but I can't stop worrying about this.

I think the comment was directed more at those people who have only read the very first post and not subsequent posts by the OP who has clarified and added further detail to the problem. If you've skimmed but read all the OP's posts it's not usually a problem unless you've said something that's been said eleventy billion times before.

Completely agree with staffiegirl.
OP, YANBU.

A normal reaction would be to lift the child to kiss his face, not to sit gormlessly letting the child attempt to kiss his groin area.

Take care of yourself

@daisychain01

"If she's just gone to do it, and you've jumped in, he probably doesn't have a grasp on the fact that she would have.

This is yet another example of how the woman is expected to do all the thinking, all the actions and all the decision-making."

Except it's not. It's the exact opposite. By immediately swooping in and removing the potential issue the op is actively preventing the dh from having to address it himself - because she's doing it for him.

@Coolaschmoola

But I haven't swooped in before DP can have a chance to react. I waited so long that when her I put my hand in front of her mouth, I was touching both his crotch and her mouth. He had plenty of time to react, I wanted him to, I gave him the choice to.

Op ignore the opposing comments. You are perfectly right.
I asked my dh his thoughts on the subject and he was very firm in saying ‘absolutely inappropriate’ my dh is incredibly hands on with our dc yet we’ve never encountered this. In fact, he has a bath with dc 3 and dc8 mths and pops a bucket over his bits so no grabbing occurs by curious hands etc.

I’d be interested what your hv thought. I’m pretty sure they’d be making a note of it and advising against it happening again.

I've really considered both sides here but I think your last post makes it clear that his behaviour is unboundaried. I don't think you are over reacting

This thread is really gross to be honest. I hope nobody creepy is reading this and enjoying the answers.

@myrashy Where May I ask are your dh genitals? My dh has genitals situated in the front of his boxers, perhaps slightly to one side. Kissing his groin area whilst sat in boxers is very inappropriate. If you have young children and you think it’s appropriate, something is very wrong. Parents have a responsibility to safe guard children. Kissing groin areas through underwear is NOT safe guarding.

@Ozziewozzie I'm sure myrashys husband's genitals are in the usual place. I think you mean KungFuPanda as Rashy has said it was weird from the start and you have misrepresented her

Except it's not. It's the exact opposite. By immediately swooping in and removing the potential issue the op is actively preventing the dh from having to address it himself - because she's doing it for him.

um if the OP had time to get in there from wherever she was sitting, the Dh most certainly had time. I've never known any men to be on constant "ball break" watch. Most men look terrified when a toddler is coming towards them because it means potentially being headbutted in the testicles.