Fil coming round unannounced on a Sunday!

[Toughtips]

Aibu to be annoyed by this? I don't want to see him. Dh is downstairs with him atm
I was being a slob sat in my dressing gown and don't really wanna have to change. Aibu to stay upstairs?

Sounds like you need to grow up!

Not unreasonable at all, do what you want to do!! You didn't agree to make any plans so you're perfectly fine not to engage.

Does he do this regularly? If so, I'd start making it awkward for him. Clatter about the place in your dressing gown, make coffee fpr yourself only, passive aggressive "oh sorry wasn't expecting you " and then vanish again to dress and leave the house without further explanation.

YABU. Unless he makes a habit of it or turns up very early or late I don't see what's wrong with it. He's close family FGS. I thought visiting family was part of what people do on a Sunday.
By all means ask him to give you a call before he comes but how much notice do you need? A day, a week? Is he only allowed round once a year?

Annoying but he's family. If he's come around unannounced I would assume it's a flying visit and you're fine to hide upstairs.

Why get changed?

I doubt you’d be the first woman he’s seen in a dressing gown, and he knows he’s turned up unannounced.

You’re welcome to hide upstairs if you like, but don’t make yourself miserable just because he’s turned up.

Sorry OP, I lost my dad a couple of years ago and whenever I see threads like this regarding parents/in laws, I do think that they’re not going to be around ever so that clouds my opinion.

Oh please, just get dressed and go say hi offer a drink and then do your own thing. Parents should have to announce!

*forever, not ever

Heaven forbid a close family member wants to drop in and see his nearest and dearest over the weekend.

Have you told your DH his own dad has to book in and get approval to visit his own son in his son's own house?

Maybe they both enjoy you buggering off upstairs.

Pleeeeease don't let me end up with a daughter or son in law so unwelcoming you're made to feel unwelcome visiting your own child

I would hate this. But I'm not big on people being in my house without me having chance to clean and make myself presentable.

However I wouldn't mind if it was my own dad. I know double standards but that's the way it is.

I think I would just hide in my room if it was me.

Why are some people so self centred and downright nasty to family. I would give anything to have family members I've lost be able to just drop in to see how we're doing.

Get dressed and say hello

Does he do this regularly? If so, I'd start making it awkward for him. Clatter about the place in your dressing gown, make coffee for yourself only, passive aggressive "oh sorry wasn't expecting you " and then vanish again to dress and leave the house without further explanation

Seriously? Why on earth are some people so unnecessarily rude and arsey? I'd be livid if someone behaved like that to my parents (if I was lucky enough to still have them around).

How old are you. Grow up. Get dressed and go and say hi. Yabu and very rude. Sulking upstairs.

These are the things you need to think about before getting married really. If you really haven't got the tolerance for other peoples families then it would be better to stay single and just see people.

I'd be delighted if my father ever voluntarily came to my house. Less so with my FIL because he has been dead for 26 years and I suspect that might cause problems with the carpets.

Isn't it nice that he feels comfortable enough to pop round and see his son? He's unlikely to be expecting a 12 course banquet, but I'd pop my head round the door and say "Sorry I'm busy with xyz just now, but X will make you tea and I've hidden the good biscuits on top of the fridge" then disappear again if I didn't want to chat.

I'd love for family to come round

Gosh. Unless there's a huge backstory coming via a massive drip feed, you sound like a horrible person and I feel really sorry for your FIL and your DH.

Jesus Christ. Everybody loses people. It's 15 years tomorrow since DM died. Doesn't mean that I wouldn't have been annoyed at times if she had turned up unannounced at an inconvenient time. Those who passive aggressively say "but my parents are dead so you should welcome everyone with open arms regardless of circumstances" are bloody disgraceful and should get over themselves. There isn't a person on the planet who hasn't or won't lose a parent so you're not special.

Friends and family are always welcome, but they call first.
Even if we had something on we'd cancel if it was nothing much.
It's just the way we are, but it's constant for all.

Oh I love it when mine come around although they do have a knack for picking the day I'm still in my pyjamas at 2pm to turn up unannounced I usually just say oh good I haven't had a chance to get dressed, can you mind the baby while I do? It is a convenient lie we both pretend to believe

Not everyone is happy for people, not matter who they are, to just drop in. I'm a person who is very happy to see people when it's arranged beforehand.

My in-laws used to come round unannounced, sometimes in the evening sometimes on a weekend. I felt it was very intrusive as very often we had plans. My DH agreed with me, luckily, so we started inviting them for specific times. A couple of times they turned up. Both times we turned them away, as "we were just going out". They soon got the message.

I wouldn't dream of dropping in on anyone unannounced because I understand that not everyone likes it.

There's some fairly harsh and unnecessary posts on here. Everyone is different.

I would sit upstairs mucking about on my phone or reading a book until he went. Get dressed and go down only when I felt like it.