Fil coming round unannounced on a Sunday!

[Toughtips]

Aibu to be annoyed by this? I don't want to see him. Dh is downstairs with him atm
I was being a slob sat in my dressing gown and don't really wanna have to change. Aibu to stay upstairs?

When did family need to make an appointment to visit? Surely it doesn’t matter with family if you are in your dressingown, the house untidy etc

@Parker231 what if you're having really rude sex? Do you let them in to join in?

I can't stand people turning up unannounced. FIL used to do this - if he was coming up to go to rugby with DH he would sometimes arrive 5 hours early and not tell us. Not because he wanted to see DGC but because that was the cheapest train. If we weren't in he would be really moody and we'd receive calls from MIL saying he was sitting outside our house (he wouldn't actually call us directly!). I think people are different depending on what their house is like. With 3 young DC in a tiny house our house is never presentable unless we have a lot of time to tidy up and I feel really stressed and on the back foot to be surprised, as FIL and MIL are neat freaks and I know they think I am not a good house keeper.

Got no issues in him comingYou might want to re read you’re thread title

@rachell playing, running about, doing homework, not eating their dinner, putting the tree up.

Are you always out with your kids? We had a busy day yesterday so not wanting to do anything today has been fun enough.

YANBU at all if that’s how you do things in your family. I wouldn’t want to sit with a dressing gown on (and nothing under it!) with my FIL!

I spent all day in my pjs yesterday :) we all did. I got a shower and shoved some clean pjs on. We got pizza and then watched Christmas films! After a really busy week we all needed it. Relaxed as a family, the DC had a great time. Nothing wrong with being in pjs

Sorry posted too soon... it’s your thread title obviously!

You need to get over yourself. I was expecting my ILs at 12pm yesterday, they turned up at 10.30 and I was mopping the floor in my PJs! No big deal, made them a cuppa and went and got dressed.

@mrsgrindah no issues him comin if he lets us know. This thread is about him turning up unannounced whilst.... Gasp shock horror I'm in my dressing gown doing fuck all cos I want a lazy day

Oh dear, someones late to the party

And I agree, kids need downtime. I feel sorry for the poor little buggers who's parents fill their days up all week with no day off.

@thurman good for you. But dont tell me to get over myself. Its fucking fabulous that you get on so well with your in laws and are happy for them to come over.

I note that you were expecting them that day. I wasn't.

You sound like a bit of a nasty piece of work

An overgrown child with a horrible attitude

Grow the fuck up

Who is this directed at?

I stay in my PJ's when I know my FIL is coming round... I've gone to theirs for tea in a onesie! Can promise he won't mind you in your PJ's!

@rita and you sound so much better spitting bile to strangers online.

Nasty piece of work? What for wanting some fucking privacy and downtime in my own home?

Moron.

Hate the phrase grow up.

Some people are so weird arent they. They can't just leave it at yep yabu. They have to take it too far.

Would you be this nasty to a person's face?

Ok I get it’s annoying and I was a bit annoyed that mine turned up early while I was looking like crap and doing last minute housework. But sitting upstairs in your PJs is petulant and very rude IMO. You did ask if YABU so don’t get upset if other posters disagree with you.

I think some families are plain weird. I genuinely wonder if the posters that hate their ILs to pop in when passing will be as thrilled when their children and partners don't ever want to see them or if they knew they were just tolerated.

So sad.

We don't do much on Sunday apart from Church but we always get outside to the park or even in the backyard so ds can run around and get some fresh air.
I think wanting a down day is fine and while I can't imagine staying in my pj's all day but that's fine if it works for you. I think hiding in your room from family is really weird though. I think it's even ruder considering your dh was under the weather. I just can't imagine hiding from family.

@thurman i don't mind people disagreeing with me. I expected it on here.

But what I dont agree with is people calling me awful, nasty, lazy etc when they don't know me at all.

I don’t mind if people turn up unannounced, and I usually am in my pj’s all day every Sunday, and I wouldn’t have gotten changed if someone had come to visit.

You should have just stayed in your pj’s. Did he stay for long? I’m sure he just wanted to see his family, remember you might be in his position one day x

@rachell I didn't hide.

When he knocked, I nipped upstairs to let DH know. Dh was playing on his pc and he wasnt chuffed himself about him popping by.

I didn't fancy opening the door looking like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards in my dressijg gown

@edison ffs... I never said I didn't want to see him EVER!

I just have an issue with unannounced visitors. This is anyone not just family.

Im always respectful of other people and would always check if I can nip round beforehand. Just good manners imo.

OP I don’t know you or your family dynamic but if it was the other way round and my dad turned up unannounced and DH sat upstairs in his PJs I’d be fuming with him. It depends on the relationship I suppose but sometimes you just have to suck it up. Annoying? Definitely. But is it worth creating tension over?

It's your house isn't it? Do what you like. Don't your kids bring friends in though?
Different people have different ideas, that's life. If you want a warning tell him.