Fil coming round unannounced on a Sunday!

[Toughtips]

Aibu to be annoyed by this? I don't want to see him. Dh is downstairs with him atm
I was being a slob sat in my dressing gown and don't really wanna have to change. Aibu to stay upstairs?

@snuggy thanks! Glad I'm not the only one that thinks so

I don't think your being unreasonable. My father in law continually did this after I had my first DD. It felt like anytime I sat down to feed her or we went for a nap the doorbell would go.
'Oh were you sleeping' was as much as he said. Honestly I don't know how I didn't kill him in those early days.
I don't think it's too much to ask for a quick text to make sure your in/awake/dressed appropriately to receive guests. Maybe some people are completely comfortable in front of their in-laws, unfortunately I'm not and it does irk me when I have to 'entertain' unannounced

It is bad manners to turn up unannounced and expect to be invited into someone’s home without warning. Unfortunately, it’s also bad manners to ignore visitors, no matter how tempting.
YANBU to be annoyed OP; there are a surprising number of dropper-inners on here.

Thanks. I didn't ignore him as once I'd got changed I did go down to say hello lol

@Toughtips nothing on under your dressing gown? But earlier you were in your PJs, this is so confusing! You change stories all the time!

And yes I'm glad you're not my DIL!

I'm already in my nightie and dressing gown.

I love the 'pop in'! No-one pops in anymore, I miss it.

When did family need to make an appointment to visit? Surely it doesn’t matter with family if you are in your dressingown, the house untidy etc.

And yes I'm glad you're not my DIL!

Maybe your DIL is more tolorant than you know if dropping in unannounced is normal for you as it seems to be. It's ill mannered and she could have plenty to say when you've gone.

@son yet again, why the aggressive tone.... I never said I was in my PJs? To quote I said "much comfier in PJs" I consider no clothes and a dressing gown comfy. No story change. But do continue with this weird charade of trying to paint me as ab awful, drip drip drip feeding DIL

@gamerchick no she's lovely, as is my son! We're not I'll mannered at all, mice friendly people.

She adores us as we do her and our son!

Different people to "cold" don't visit me people!

But not all families are the easy-going sort. There are some family members of mine who certainly would be judgy and mean, and expect us to dance around them if the deigned to pop in unexpectedly. And who would judge if the house was untidy, whatever the reason. Which is why they don't generally get invites.

@Parker no appointment necessary but a quick call or text to ask if its ok to pop over is just good manners imo.

YABU unless he's been there for hours and hours. Why would you be in your dressing gown at 4.00 in the afternoon?

And I don't mind people visiting, I just need a bit of a warning first. Even a text say 30 mins ahead would be helpful. I'm an introvert and sometimes have to get my mind into "hist" mode. This doesn't mean I'm unwelcoming, just that I need a heads up.

sonandhelpneeded seriously you need to accept not everyone thinks like you. It's bad manners to drop in on people if you don't know they welcome that. I'll bet you're a walk straight into their house without knocking type as well as not giving notice if this simple fact is escaping you

"host", not "hist"

Turning up to someone's home, even a close family member, is very rude. What if you were having an intimate moment, a row, had bought dinner for two, were going out? No one just drops in unannounced do they?

Well good for you @son I'm a fucking awful, dressing gown wearer who dislikes unannounced visits. IABU obviously. You've made your opinion clear so don't need to keep yawping on about how awful i am and how wonderful your family are.

@Toughtips what's yawping?

Im thinking her son gets a bit of earache tbh OP, there doesn't seem to be any awareness there at all

@alltaken Im in said dressing gown cos its cold and I just didn't fancy sitting round in clothes when I had no plans to go out today.

Why is that so shocking?

For me it's about respecting other people's time

@gamerchick completely agree.

@son Google it

What are your kids doing? I can't imagine staying inside all day in my pj's with kids unless they were sick