To go upstairs and scream silently into a pillow with sheer fucking RAGE?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

So we have 3 DC under 4. They have a swimming lesson at 9am on Saturdays (I know, but it gets it out of the way and we're awake from 6.30 anyhow).

Every weekend, I run around like a blue-arsed fly lighting the fire, getting 3 breakfasts, feeding the babies, packing the swim bags, putting stuff in the car, basically constantly chivvying for about 90 mins till we are all out the door.

Every sodding weekend about 10 minutes before we are due to go, DH finds something "extra" to do. This weekend it was rearranging the car seats which were already in the car. The other week it was hanging out laundry. One week it was trimming his beard.

He always, oh it's okay, we're in good time. Yes we are in good time because I have been running around like a blasted lunatic! The idea is that we have a relaxed time! Not that we can now make ourselves 10 minutes late doing something that could be done at any point in the day!

Please can I smother him with a used swim nappy?

Kill him. I’ll bring a spade.

Write down all the jobs that need doing before swimming. It's both of your responsibility to get the jobs done.

Also, pack the swim bags the night before and put in car. Clothes picked out and ready the night before.

(We have early sat morning lessons too so I feel your pain)

Tbh, I think if you’re having to run around like a blue arsed fly, then 9am is too early for you.
I would get swim bags etc ready night before.
Your DH? Not sure what to do about him!

Tell him next week is his turn to get up early with the kids.

Why don't you get your husband to pack swim bags on Saturday evening once towels and costumes are washed and dried? Breakfast can be a brioche and fruit so no prep just hand them to the kids in the morning. Pack the car Friday evening.

getting kids ready is utter shit I hate it! Pack swim bags the night before and anything else you need put it all in the car ready

Breakfast stuff out ready set out on table bowls out spoons out cereal on table jug of milk in the fridge. All you have to do is put milk jug on table and serve them up.

Clothes all ironed ready to be put on with shoes ontop of each pile. Coats ready by the door.

When we were younger my grandad used to shovel coal into a carrier bag ready for the fire the next day so all he would have to do is scrunch the paper little bit of wood to get a blaze then throw the carrier bag of coal on.

Have a look around the neighborhood if anyone is having a new patio. Never bury the body in your own garden.

Otherwise do as others have said prep before the day.

YABU

You lost me at swimming lessons for 3 DC under 4 at 9am on a Saturday tbh.

Can I borrow your DH to hang out the laundry in his odd 5 minutes please? Promise to give him back as I couldn't cope with beard management.

I stopped reading at "lighting the fire".

Sell your dh and get some central heating installed. With a timer. Does this help?

When we were younger my grandad used to shovel coal into a carrier bag ready for the fire the next day so all he would have to do is scrunch the paper little bit of wood to get a blaze then throw the carrier bag of coal on. My DM said she sent me to Brownies because they promised I'd learn "how to lay and light a fire". The idea was that you scrunched up newspaper, balanced a mini-jenga of wood on top and covered the lot with coal - if you did it right, all you had to do was apply a match.

But thinking about it, you couldn't do that the night before as the fire would still be going, so your grandad was speeding up the laying process in the morning.

I fight my own tendency to do this. I hate standing around doing nothing. I see things that need doing constantly.

As a result I have frequently made myself late after getting ready in plenty of time with the full intention of having a relaxed journey. Oh I'll just do X.

I am much better now. I am in a support group of two. Well, it is me and a dear friend. We got chatting one day after both arriving flustered and late for something then proceeded to take the piss out of our own selves for making fuck stupid decisons to just do X 10mins before leaving.

We have been both greatly helped by talking about how it is the downside of personality traits that are normally fantastic . We are shit at sitting around, hence get loads done and have good lives. We see the improvements that can be made everywhere which helps us have good lives.

It is much easier for me to stop myself doing the 10minute X knowing where it comes from.

DH is the same god help us.

We changed to use the down time to play stupid games with the children instead. Like I Spy, 20 questions, mental maths, would you rather etc. It feels like doing something and fools my brain into not egging me on to do that load of washing.

That man needs more to do!

STBXH always faffs about for ages then starts a 30 minute job with 10 minutes to go before leaving the house.

Unless being late would directly impact upon himself, like missing a train or a plane.

One of many things that drove me nuts.

Why do under 4s need swimming lessons? Particularly when it's clearly very stressful for you to get them there? Why not aim for a public swim session at a time that suits you better?

We have this almost exact same thing. (Only 2 DCs and 1 is order).
I make sure that I've told DH what time we are leaving and then I just go.

What redsky says

I would have kittens lighting the fire just before going out!

So he’s in charge of Saturday mornings from now on, yes ?

I’d ditch the lessons and go for a family swim but then I don’t see the value in swimming lessons for kids that young, water confidence is much more important at such a young age. Go for a family swim and you’re not stuck to a set time. I do feel your pain though!

Widowanky if OP is like me the fire IS her central heating! We run seven radiators off our multi fuel burner.

I agree with others pack bags week/ night before. Lay clothes out. Lay breakfast table.
If you can drive go without him. I had three boys and a baby to get to swimming lessons after school/ work. Took baby from 2 weeks old as had no support and DH works away from home for weeks at a time.

I also try to squeeze jobs in before I leave. Only stopped this recently children are now adults. Sit him down and talk to him as he may not realise how he is stressing you out.

set the clocks fast
lie about the time you have to be there
give yourself more time

speaks from bitter experience

Mere I read mini Ninja on the fire!!
Why light the fire if you are going out?
And under 4's dont need swimming lessons.

Yes I know I need to pack the car the night before 😭 I was up making puree till 11pm and decided I couldn't be arsed.

DH does stuff, he's not lazy.... it's just not the stuff that needs doing! I want to shout "prioritize!" at him like some 1990s management guru

Alltaken

I did try training kittens to do it but they just sat there mewling.

I'm the same @CottonTailRabbit I like your suggestions. If I'm ready ten minutes before I need to go somewhere, I'll always try and fit something extra in, rather than arrive early and have to wait at my destination. And then I end up being late. I find it hard to do nothing and always want to fill my time, but at the same time I also procrastinate [facepalm]
My dad was the same. If we were going on holiday or something we'd all be sitting in the car waiting. Eventually someone would have to go back in to the house to tell him to ffing hurry up.
So I do really feel for you OP having been on both sides of it. It's definitely something your DH needs to work on. UANBU!