To go upstairs and scream silently into a pillow with sheer fucking RAGE?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

So we have 3 DC under 4. They have a swimming lesson at 9am on Saturdays (I know, but it gets it out of the way and we're awake from 6.30 anyhow).

Every weekend, I run around like a blue-arsed fly lighting the fire, getting 3 breakfasts, feeding the babies, packing the swim bags, putting stuff in the car, basically constantly chivvying for about 90 mins till we are all out the door.

Every sodding weekend about 10 minutes before we are due to go, DH finds something "extra" to do. This weekend it was rearranging the car seats which were already in the car. The other week it was hanging out laundry. One week it was trimming his beard.

He always, oh it's okay, we're in good time. Yes we are in good time because I have been running around like a blasted lunatic! The idea is that we have a relaxed time! Not that we can now make ourselves 10 minutes late doing something that could be done at any point in the day!

Please can I smother him with a used swim nappy?

How incredibly stressful to commit to the swimming lesson every Saturday morning. What's the reason you've chosen to do this?

Put it to him in words of no ambiguity : no bloody last min jobs on a Saturday! None!

He also needs to be taking on half the tasks you're running around trying to do in time. Absolutely unacceptable he gets to Fanny like Lord of the manor while making you all potentially late!

He can pack the bags on a Friday night if necessary, light the fire, feed one of the babies (at least) dress one (at least), put stuff in the car

Does he always leave everything child related to you?

"That man needs more to do!" Too bloody right!

Get more organised by doing things the night before. Both of you, not just you. Create a weekly schedule for both of you and stick to it. It all sounds stressful to be honest especially with 3 DC. Re evaluate the need to do activities that create so much stress and take away from relaxation. Do the bare minimum/survive. Most important tip of all is to always do what makes an easy life. Fuck making purees, weekend activities...

Teaches

Erm so the children can learn to swim and because they enjoy it?

Massive thumbs up for getting three small DCs to swimming that early on a sat morning. I wouldnt do it personally. When i gave our availability to swim place for Dd it didnt include early weekend mornings. My exP had no time management skills neither does my father (lovely man) but my DM complains about this all the time. I would alternate the responsibility. One week you get up and take them and the week after your DP does it all and you stay in bed. He will soon get his skates on then

Argh ... yes I have a husband who does the same, when I'm rushed off my feet and running out of time and he finds something that needs done, and usually it is something that needs done but was never part of the agenda and just causes me more stress. I switched the kids Saturday swimming to an evening and in fact I've cancelled it from end of the month to private ones and to stop until the lighter nights or warmer weather come back 😂

Tell your DH you're going out for a run next Saturday morning at 7am, and he'll need to get the children sorted out and ready for swimming lessons. Because you're fucking fed up of doing it all yourself anyways,, plus he's then a complete dink who makes you late on purpose with his antics. Because that is what he's doing ... hoping you'll just leave him behind for a hour's peace to himself without actually saying so. But he's fucking up your morning doing it and dumping everything on you.

Let him do it all for the next couple of Saturdays... maybe he'll get the message. Tell him you'll be back when it's time to go, and you expect everyone to be ready.

I get the swimming lessons. I took mine to Waterbabies, which I called swimming lessons, even though they weren't strictly lessons. I found that if I didn't, I didn't take them swimming. There was always something else to do which seemed more immediately important so I would go swimming tomorrow instead. Only I never did. By paying in advance and having it as a regular commitment, I made sure my kids got to swim!

OP your DH has a congenital disease associated with the Y chromosome. My DF had it and my exH had it. To be honest, women occasionally have it ( had a woman friend with an extreme case) but it’s a predominantly male trait. It is seen almost daily when a DW tells her DH that the meal will be ready in a few minutes. Right on cue, DH then commences a taste that will take half a hour to complete.
Not sure if there is a cure. Would be interested to hear others’ strategies

I can't help with your DH problem I do similar. Lifehack on the swimming preparation. In our house swimming bags stay packed so I wash towels and costumes and stick them straight back into the relevant bags mine included. I still recheck it on a Saturday morning to make sure that we have all our Gear.

Why can’t your DH help get the kids ready on Saturday morning or light the fires? Sounds very annoying but i don’t think silently seething will achieve much

Can't you do the swimming lessons some other time in the week? I imagine your husband is at work all week? Maybe on Saturday mornings he'd like to be doing these irritating little jobs instead of trailing to the bloody baths!

Either he gets up to make the fire or get central heating and stop with the making the fire business.

Every weekend, I run around like a blue-arsed fly lighting the fire, getting 3 breakfasts, feeding the babies, packing the swim bags, putting stuff in the car, basically constantly chivvying for about 90 mins till we are all out the door.

Fuck that. What's your dh doing? Why's it all your responsibility? Agree to getting bags and clothes ready the night before. Dh can light the fire and load the car. Share out tasks. Every time he starts doing something off-piste, pull him back. Shout 'Prioritise!' at him if you have to.

Otherwise, kill him. I'll help ;-)

Swimming lessons for under 4s are not about learning to swim, they are about gaining water confidence. You could do precisely the same thing by taking them swimming yourself at a more convenient time.

LTB?

Stop being a martyr, also find better contraception, the world is overpopulated.

Kill him. I’ll bring a spade

ahem set all clocks & watches he looks at 10 minutes fast than process allows 10 minutes dithering time -

One week it was trimming his beard

Where is Sweeney Todd when you need him?

If you are in the kitchen eating breakfast leave the fire to DH for when you get back.

Am I the only one confused by lighting the fires and making purée until 11pm on a Friday? What and why?

Brixxledrizzle, you made me laugh out loud at that!

The idea is that we have a relaxed time!

Well that certainly isn't happening for you anyway.
Can the tasks be divided so that they take less time with the two of you working at preparing fire/ breakfast/ three small kids?

YANBU

I know I’m going to be flamed for this but regular swimming lessons are not necessary until children are school aged. Regular relaxed family sessions are much more fun for small kids. My DCs learned to swim well after a few 1 to 1 lessons aged around 7 which saved money and stress.

A 9am Saturday morning lesson with 3 under 4 sounds like hell to me, especially if your DH isn’t much use!