‘Popular’ (mean) people from school working in salons...

[Stubbornuincorn]

Not really an AIBU more of a wondering if this happens to anyone else!

I’ve returned to where I grew up and went to school, and I keep finding that the people working in spas/hair salons etc are annoyingly often the ‘popular’ girls that were horrible to me when we were at school.

Recent examples are having to have my hair washed by a girl that used to make fun of me during P.E (literally dreaded PE because of it) and having a sodding full body massage from a really chavvy girl who used to really intimidate me. Even though I’m an adult now I find it really uncomfortable!!

Has this happened to anyone else?

Yes. And usually they say “You don’t remember me do you”. I like to tell them I remember what a twat they are and ask if they’d like to discuss how appallingly they behaved in school. Usually they scuttle off looking shame faced.

Oh I wish I had the balls to do that!

A lot of the girls who made my life miserable in school are either HCAs or nurses at our local hospitals, I have several health problems so spend a fair amount of time in a&e and hospital, I dread the day that one of them has to treat me.

You actually do that lost?

Why don't you just decline the service? You aren't obliged to have a massage, just say no thanks and leave.

"Yes, I do remember you. And I am now the customer. Milk and no sugar in my tea please"

If you think that’s acceptable talk then maybe that’s why you had a hard time in school, just a thought.

Yes I do. Is it so hard to believe?

You actually say that lost?! Really?!

Because I didn’t know it was her doing the massage until I was sat in the waiting room and she appeared. Far too embarrassing to just up and leave so I acted like it didn’t bother me and I barely remembered her.

Full body massages aren’t compulsory are they OP?!

I think 'lost' is full of shit....

Well I was with a close African American friend and visiting her small town in upstate New York. We went to the local diner and she was very surprised to find our waitress was one of the most "popular" girls at her High School. She was white and blonde and had apparently been very snobby and unfriendly to my friend at school. At that time my friend was just about to start law school after completing her undergraduate degree at a prestigious university that she had won scholarships for. She is now a lawyer for Google in San Francisco. Wonder if her classmate is still waitressing?

There's no way I could accept a massage or hair wash from someone like that - it would be the opposite of relaxing.
And double that for accepting food or drink from one of them.

I'd just decline the service, cancel the appointment or ask for an alternative member of staff. And I'd explain why, if I was asked. It would be hard but better that than paying for a service i didn't want with a bully!

I've attended many a school reunion and found that most of the "popular" people have a different memory of school from me. I remember being scared of them and wishing I fitted in but was a bit of a geek. They remember wishing they were in the "clever" group (the group I was in apparently but had no idea it was a group or that they saw us as clever!). It's funny how people remember things. Another friend of mine still calls a group of girls (who are now really good friends of mine) "those bitches from school" because they apparently made her life hell! The girls she's talking about are lovely now but I don't doubt that they had their moments at school, like we all probably did!

lost how rude of you

I ran into one of the real snotty-cow-bag girls who bullied me at school when I was about 25ish, and had long moved away from my home town. I was home visiting for a few and she was working is a “naice” clothes shop (it was either Jigsaw or Hobbs) that I went in. She tried to be all pally and actually said “You don’t remember me do you?”. Smile. Simper. I said “Yes I do FIRSTNAME, how could I forget such a bully?”. Then I left, and went to buy my wedding (guest) outfit elsewhere.

Yes all the populars at my old school either had kids young and are SAHMs or do shop/care work. Nothing wrong with that of course. I think it's more to do with they felt secure and happy in the village whereas the nerds had more drive to move away and education is how you do that at 18.

Just to put a different perspective on things, do you know how much it sucks for people to view you as a failure because you do a job that involves serving people?
I wasn't horrible to anyone in school (goth girl with two friends) got my degree and then ended up one Christmas working in a coffee shop in my home town. Seeing people from school was excruciating but why? I was making a living the same as anyone else.
An older man once asked me if I enjoyed my job, I said it was alright and he told me I should have studied harder in school. For all he knew I could have been studying for my PHD at the same time!

I really don’t see why it’s so unbelievable. I had a horrendous time at school and was practically a little mouse, always being bullied and put down and couldn’t speak up for myself. Now I’m a very outgoing adult with great big cajones so I speak up.

The first few times I mumbled “Yes I do remember you” and got on with my business. One day though one of the biggest bitches I’d ever met who beat the shit out of me, egged me, spread nasty rumours about me on a daily basis asked me and I just snapped inside. There was no more dignified silence in the face of a person I could never forget. She broke my nose which is now crooked. Every day I look in the mirror and see what she did so I do remember her. Now I very firmly say I do remember them, I remember they bullied me and made my time at school miserable and will never forget. I don’t use the word twat (I was paraphrasing) and I don’t raise my voice to embarrass them in front of colleagues, but I very calmly and deliberately let them know I haven’t forgotten.

I like to tell them I remember what a twat they are and ask if they’d like to discuss how appallingly they behaved in school. Usually they scuttle off looking shame faced.

No, you don't

There was a similar thread to this yesterday. Some particularly lovely examples were the observations that the popular girls usually look much older and get fatter than their not-so-popular counterparts later on. Can't imagine why these posters were ever unpopular.

I ran into a bully from school while I was waitressing during university holidays. She acted all sweetly while I gritted my teeth. She then said goodbye, calling me by the name of another girl in our year who was in a different form. I was so angry that she could be so horrible and yet have no memory of it. She'd beaten me up in the playground FFS!

Another girl from my year who called a girl with autism some vile names and showed a total lack of empathy to her complexities and was incredibly spiteful to everyone, including her own friends, is a primary school teacher now. My cousin who works in the same school says she's lovely.

People change from being teenagers to adults, shock news.

You’re really taking this one personally. Have you been on the receiving end of a clap back from someone?