Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Popular’ (mean) people from school working in salons...

383 replies

Stubbornuincorn · 22/11/2018 19:52

Not really an AIBU more of a wondering if this happens to anyone else!

I’ve returned to where I grew up and went to school, and I keep finding that the people working in spas/hair salons etc are annoyingly often the ‘popular’ girls that were horrible to me when we were at school.

Recent examples are having to have my hair washed by a girl that used to make fun of me during P.E (literally dreaded PE because of it) and having a sodding full body massage from a really chavvy girl who used to really intimidate me. Even though I’m an adult now I find it really uncomfortable!!

Has this happened to anyone else?

OP posts:
Biker47 · 22/11/2018 21:41

Being pleased that someone who was horrible to you has "only" managed to work in low skilled, low paid jobs employment and you've done better than them, doesn't mean you look down on all people who work in low skilled, low paid jobs. It's not even remotely the same.

Diddlysquats · 22/11/2018 21:41

Yes, just read the first few posts, but all of my mean girls are now nurses! Shock 3 of them!!!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/11/2018 21:42

And certainly I couldn't stand by and laugh while a person struggling with small children and pets had to chase down a probably scared and sick animal that had gotten loose in unfamiliar surroundings.

Me, neither Ribbon

If one of my childhood tormentors had dropped a bottle of expensive bubbly or something, I probably would have smirked, but I couldn't;t take pleasure in any situation where an animal or child was distressed.

Pumperthepumper · 22/11/2018 21:42

I know this isn’t the point of the thread but - Why would that woman book both of her cats in to the vets when she had three kids to trail about, she’d surely do them one at a time?

LemonMousse · 22/11/2018 21:43

I found one of my bullies as the trainer on a course I did - that was disconcerting!
I also had to interview another bully (with several colleagues) for a job. She didn't get it.

Pumperthepumper · 22/11/2018 21:44

One of my husband’s bullies turned up to clean our house. However awful it did make him feel better about himself.

Why did it make him feel better about himself?

BillLee · 22/11/2018 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sugarsnow · 22/11/2018 21:45

Because cleaners are scum of the earth clearly Hmm

thereallifesaffy · 22/11/2018 21:48

My DD went to a uni far far away from
Our home town to escape the tentacles of the bullies, which still reach to closer to home unis.
Shoot me, but I hope my 'swotty snob' aka hard working quiet student can one day return and smile sweetly at one of those home town queens and think to herself 'yes, I made it'.

sugarsnow · 22/11/2018 21:49

It’s far healthier to live a life fulfilling enough that they don’t even feature.

Trust me Smile

pigeondujour · 22/11/2018 21:51

Hometown queens! It's a Shania Twain song now. Jesus.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 22/11/2018 21:51

wait, your husband let himself be bullied by a girl and admitted it?

OK, what should he have done when he was being bullied? Verbally abused her back? Hit her? Because if he had asked for help, no doubt some other arsehole would take the piss too.

Glasshalffull99 · 22/11/2018 21:52

I was bullied in school and I also acted quite shitty to some people and got in a fair few fights. I was sexually abused and a little bit messed up. No excuse to bully, but you honestly have no idea what kind of a life someone has underneath what's on the surface. People are sometimes arseholes as kids (because that's what they were) then grow up to be better people.
Holding grudges and poking fun at the life they have now makes you worse as an adult. Tbh I've forgiven myself for all my childhood discretions, because otherwise
I would be living my life in misery. I've done pretty well for myself now and I'm in the middle of my degree so it can take some people longer. But never look down your nose at anyone.
It doesn't make you any better!

thereallifesaffy · 22/11/2018 21:53

Bullying affects the victim into adulthood. My DD is just now feeling the impact of 7 years of it. She often calls saying she feels 'worthless'. So yes I really hope as the years go by she at least gets the satidfCtion if seeing herself happy and the bullies frustrated.
She did t reveal the half of it until she'd left school. As you can tell I still fizz with anger about it

Frequency · 22/11/2018 21:54

Why so sneery about salon workers? Hmm

Almost every vocation I have ever had is mentioned on this thread. I'm not thick, bitchy or lacking in aspiration or job satisfaction. I am degree educated. I just find the idea of working in an office mind-numbingly boring.

I'd take salon work/care work or self-employed cleaner over any kind of office based work.

I'm currently working/training in the beauty industry and have yet to come across any bitches. All the women I work with/train with are very sweet and supportive.

sugarsnow · 22/11/2018 21:57

I think that took personal integrity and courage to admit glass Flowers

yorkshirepud44 · 22/11/2018 21:57

I got off lightly at school but do remember one girl who was bloody horrible to me any time we had exams or tests. Generally I came top (age 13 was my intellectual peak!) and she came second in the classes we shared. She then called me a swot endlessly, and rallied everyone else to do the same.

She must have been fairly bright herself as there was never much between us. She was attractive and generally popular so I never understood why she needed to be so mean.

Sister saw her recently. She now works in a fish and chip shop and looks a decade older than she is. Ho hum.

BrokeLuce · 22/11/2018 21:59

I'm always a bit suprised that people are so eager to gloss over childhood bullying. Apologies if it's a bit depressing but I self harmed for years due to awful bullying but we're supposed to just get over it because they're older? I'll get over it once the bits I hacked out of my arm grow back.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/11/2018 21:59

saffy I hope your daughter gets the life she wants and deserves and a job she finds enormously satisfying.

You feelings are very natural and human - and I would be exactly the same.

Many years ago I ran into one of the girls who made my life a living hell at school - we were very civil to each other (you know - pushed the elephant in the room under the carpet where it couldn't't be seen), but I admit that I got a warm rosy glow to see that she was enormously fat (one of the things she had relentlessly abused me about was my appearance). I had improved enormously when I was away from bullies and had a chance to develop some self-fconfidence and use a bit of make-up without being mocked relentlessly - and though I say it myself, I was rather gorgeous!

This makes me a very bad person by most people's standards on here, it seems - but I think I'm just human and . . . "Karma"! It didn't make me a better person than her - she might now be a much better one than I am - but my word, I did think "Serves you right, you cow!"

Of course - she might have put weight on because she was ill - thyroid or diabetes or something (I have since I hit the menopause), but frankly, I didn't care. I would't wish it on her, or anyone, but that doesn't mean I have to give a damn about it.

anniehm · 22/11/2018 22:01

I would sit their smug knowing that they are having to wash my hair. I rarely go back to where I grew up as my parents moved away but when I ran into old acquaintances it was sometimes hard to keep a straight face as they tell me where they live and what they do for a living (not a lot unless perennial mother to avoid coming off benefits is a profession (and I'm not exaggerating, most popular aka bully at school, 6 kids crammed into a tiny flat, ever heard of the pill???)

I was bullied a lot, I suppose it did affect me but my life is so different to any of those people who I vaguely here of through Facebook or in one case the newspaper (prison!) I don't let it worry me, life is good.

StormcloakNord · 22/11/2018 22:02

On the flip side, I was a horrible person in school and since it was many years ago have done a lot growing up and maturing.

There's nothing quite as annoying as the woman who was in the same year as me constantly reminding me that I bullied her.

Yes, I get it, I was a shit. Stop fucking bringing it up Confused

DistanceCall · 22/11/2018 22:04

There's nothing quite as annoying as the woman who was in the same year as me constantly reminding me that I bullied her.

Oh, I think you'll find actually being bullied is rather more "annoying" than being reminded of it. Suck it up.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/11/2018 22:04

wait, your husband let himself be bullied by a girl and admitted it?

My small son was bullied by a girl in his class at primary school who was twice his size and who made his life a misery.

He didn't hit her back because you "can't hit girls" and came home almost every afternoon with savage bruises and cuts on his shins where she had kicked hell out of him under the cover of the table. His teacher wouldn't listen to "tell-tales" and didn't like "cry-babies", and he couldn't retaliate because she was a girl.

It took several visits to the school and then to her parents to get it stopped.

There is no shame in being bullied - whether by boys or girls. Bullies are the ones who should feel ashamed, but by definition, they don't.

Tiscold · 22/11/2018 22:07

@Stirmcloaknord.

Tbh i think she wishes you didn't say all those things you said to her when she was younger.

So to be honest i hope you're reminded everyday what you did to her.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/11/2018 22:07

Spot on, Distance

Swipe left for the next trending thread