‘Popular’ (mean) people from school working in salons...

[Stubbornuincorn]

Not really an AIBU more of a wondering if this happens to anyone else!

I’ve returned to where I grew up and went to school, and I keep finding that the people working in spas/hair salons etc are annoyingly often the ‘popular’ girls that were horrible to me when we were at school.

Recent examples are having to have my hair washed by a girl that used to make fun of me during P.E (literally dreaded PE because of it) and having a sodding full body massage from a really chavvy girl who used to really intimidate me. Even though I’m an adult now I find it really uncomfortable!!

Has this happened to anyone else?

These are now grown women,many most likely feel awful for what they did. I was bullied at school but when young I had the odd cruel moment too. Many kids don't understand the damage until they groe up and have children themselves. I'm not trying to minimise your painful memories, but remember these aren't the same people now. Granted some bullies grow up and carry it on, I'm friends with plenty of women I went to school with, some were awful to me, some I was awful to. People can change.

My sister had it happen to the biggest b**tch at our school. My sister was her heart surgeon.

Patient 'You don't remember me do you'
Sister 'Yes I do but that doesn't come into it'
Patient's Husband 'How come you know Sister'
Patient 'We went to the same school'
Husband 'Wow and you are a heart consultant'
Sister 'Yes'
Sister 'During the operation you will be unconscious whilst I repair your heart....talks about proceedings etc'
Husband 'Your life is literally in her hands'
Patient Gulps. Heart op done successfully.

I was teased and bullied at school. Many years on I have attended reunions where some of the offenders have been there too. My approach when meeting them again is to say I have blotted out much of my school years as I was very unhappy. For this reason I don’t remember them. If they think that rude well tough. Without fail the boys/men are now charming and want to buy me drinks. The girls/women never attend.

Whether I liked people or not I am always interested to hear how they are and what they are doing. I don’t care if they are successful or not as long as they are happy and healthy.

Sugarsnow actually yes I think you are living in a different world.

You’ve said some awful things to a bullying victim who has outlined physical and emotional bullying, and you’re saying she’s out of order for calling the bully out years later?

Actually the bully is lucky she didn’t get done for assault, because that’s what breaking someone’s nose is, so she’s lucky she got to go to law school and become a lawyer. She (who knows the law) should know how lucky she is not to have been charged with assault.

Just stop having a go at bullying victims, for crying out loud.

Why would a senior medical professional even tell that story? And why would the person they told it to repeat it? What a fucking awful reflection on both of you that is.

I find it bizarre to care, as an adult, about how successful (by your own personal measures) your former bullies are or are not.

Given how many adults say they were bullied at school, the odds are on that not all that many of us are not remembered as being a “bully” or “nasty” by at least one person we went to school with.

The girls who bullied me at school are now women and seem to have nice lives. I doubt I’d have much to say to them if we met in the street, but I’d be polite. Their existence makes no difference to my life now.

This is so true!! They’re usually the ones who say they’re going to make it as actresses as well, or something similar. My school bully, who used to beat me up, I would shake at the thought of her, friended me on Facebook and sent a really sweet message - not a “sorry I was a dick” message but “hibhun how are you long time no see.”

I confess a felt a little smug when she caught her husband shagging someone else and very grateful that she shared it aaaaall over Facebook for our viewing pleasure

But...some jobs are technically classed as unskilled. It doesn’t mean the person doing them is bad/worthless/thick but the role they are in doesn’t require a high level of skill or intellectual understanding.

We need people to do all sorts of jobs. Not everybody can be an accountant/surgeon/teacher/solicitor.

I was bullied practically from infant school to the first year of high school (when I moved countries). I was different, chubby, 'posh' and 'clever'. I was almost completely ostracised, picked on, called names, hit, stolen from, the works. These people ruined my childhood and I can still feel the impact to this day, 30-odd years later, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships and trust.

I'd like to think I'd do what Lost does if I ever met one of these utter, utter cunts again. But I probably wouldn't. So whatever gets you through the encounter is fine by me. I wouldn't want them touching me again, personally.

It’s ridiculous to treat adults as if they’re the same people they were when they were children. People grow up, they change. Are you the same person you were when you were 14? That would be a waste of a life.

I watched once as a bully from my junior and senior school days struggled to leave the vets4pets waiting room, carrying two cat carriers, wrangling a 5yr old, a toddler and a baby in a sling.

I couldn't help but laugh tbh when the handle snapped on one of the carriers and dropped on the floor. Door now wide open, her cat did a runner across the shopping park.

Watching her face in slow motion and seeing her try and leg it after the poor thing was the highlight of my week 😁 Especially as she was horrid to my cat as a kid.

I turned around and another girl from our school was standing outside the Petsathome next door. We both just audibly gawfuffed. I chuckled the whole way back to the car 😁

I imagine a lot of former bullies would act like nothing bad happened.

I think you need help lost

People don't always change from school to now. I know someone that is still a cow.

That cat story makes you sound in equal parts like a fibber and a psychopath.

Yes all the populars at my old school either had kids young and are SAHMs or do shop/care work

YY, and nothing at all wrong with it but I suppose when you feel interior to someone and fear then every day, in your mind they’re a mighty being and you only ever see their future self as some ball busting lawyer or CEO of a Fortune 500 company. In reality, a lot of people peak in school

One was my midwife. She was the best of the bunch actually, I openly told her that all her mates were cunts because if you can’t get away with it while you are in labour, when can you? She said “I know. I never see any of them now. I’m so sorry.”

Maybe she meant it, maybe she didn’t want a kick in the face? Who can tell 😂

sugarsnow - yes, I’m sure lost could do with some counselling (as could most people!) and bullying at school can really affect you into adulthood.

Oh dear...

I think peoples behaviour can change but not their personality

I think so polar

I bumped into one of the popular girls from my school at a night club once after leaving school. She tried to impress me by telling me her boyfriend was a crack dealer

Oh and ignore the pearl clutchers Lost this is MN, and if you see the bully who attacked you, belittled you and destroyed your self confidence every day for 7 years, you should buy them a Creme egg and offer to babysit their kids. In the real world, you’re glad if you’re doing better than them and that’s absolutely fine!

Sugarsnow is on a different planet all of her own (just as well quite frankly)

Lost - I really like your style.

I don’t think you should do that gunpowder

But ‘let’s talk about your behaviour’ to an adult in a professional workplace?

Laughing when someone loses their cat?

Not to mention the barely-concealed disdain for SAHMs, young mums and shop workers.

It isn’t pleasant, to be honest.