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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Popular’ (mean) people from school working in salons...

383 replies

Stubbornuincorn · 22/11/2018 19:52

Not really an AIBU more of a wondering if this happens to anyone else!

I’ve returned to where I grew up and went to school, and I keep finding that the people working in spas/hair salons etc are annoyingly often the ‘popular’ girls that were horrible to me when we were at school.

Recent examples are having to have my hair washed by a girl that used to make fun of me during P.E (literally dreaded PE because of it) and having a sodding full body massage from a really chavvy girl who used to really intimidate me. Even though I’m an adult now I find it really uncomfortable!!

Has this happened to anyone else?

OP posts:
BarbaraRoyale · 22/11/2018 20:24

sugarsnow what a fucking awful thing to say
Shame on you

mostdays · 22/11/2018 20:24

If you think that’s acceptable talk then maybe that’s why you had a hard time in school, just a thought.

Oooh, excuses for bullying. And people wonder why the problem exists...

LostInShoebiz · 22/11/2018 20:25

I was mainly bullied because I was fat and my mother was married to a black man which was most unusual where I lived at the time. Probably by someone like Sugarsnow.

Polarbearflavour · 22/11/2018 20:25

Some of these comments are mean - “I can see why you were bullied at school.” Yeah because one of the other posters really deserved to have nose broken. Nobody deserves to be bullied.

It must be satisfying to have moved on with your life whilst the bullies haven’t. There is nothing wrong with working in retail/care/hospitality but they are low paid, low skilled jobs, serving sometimes rude customers, workin unsocial hours and the work is pretty dull. That’s a fact. Nobody dreams of doing those jobs.

I worked in retail when I was student part time and disliked it. I was determined to never work in a shop again! And I didn’t - I got qualifications and did other things and I think I’ve done alright for myself.

I girl I didn’t like at school particulay is now working on the Dior counter in Debenhams in my home town. I had a nice chat with her a while ago. We’ve taken very different paths in life. I’m sure she’s happy with her life and I’m happy with mine.

sugarsnow · 22/11/2018 20:25

No I do, I’m sorry.

I think that the sort of person who delights in crowing over people in low paid jobs and ‘let’s discuss your behaviour’ is frankly strange and obsessive. And that in turn lends itself to having few friends.

SerenDippitty · 22/11/2018 20:26

One of the boys who bullied me at secondary ended up a teacher at that school. I ran into him once and he was effusively friendly......

lilyheather1 · 22/11/2018 20:27

I could have written this, OP! whenever I visit my parents I'm always told about my mum's trips to the hairdresser's and all the many people from my school she sees!

sugarsnow · 22/11/2018 20:27

I am not a bully lost, and adults bully too. I think if someone came into my workplace and wanted to discuss one of my colleagues behaviour in school we would think they were mad.

I really am sorry you were bullied. I was as well, but I just don’t feel any bitterness now. We were stupid kids.

LostInShoebiz · 22/11/2018 20:28

I’ve never once mentioned that anyone I pulled up had a low paid job. That was the OP who mentioned salons. The evil nose breaking bitch was the lawyer ago dealt with my mum’s house sale. Not a low paid job. Didn’t change my view on her one bit though.

If you have some ire about people stigmatising those in the service sector then direct it elsewhere because you’ll see I’ve said nothing to offend you on that front.

whatwouldyoubelikeat28 · 22/11/2018 20:28

Just to put a different perspective on things, do you know how much it sucks for people to view you as a failure because you do a job that involves serving people?

I totally agree, it's the height of rudeness to assume that hospitality and retail workers are unskilled. And doubly rude to actually talk down to them!
Real class doesn't assume or be rude to anyone in any job, no matter how humble! I agree with PP, if this is your attitude than you have bigger problems than someone being apparently mean to you in high school!

TheVanguardSix · 22/11/2018 20:28

To be honest when I read threads like this I just think no wonder you were bullied at school.

Right?

I especially like the whole derogatory tone of 'Wonder if she's still waitressing?' Hello, Snobby McSnobface.

bimbobaggins · 22/11/2018 20:30

That’s an awful thing to say sugar
And yes people do change from teenagers to adult hood so good for lost for not being the mousy teenager anymore and putting the people who made her life a misery their place . What’s so hard for people to believe about that.
Believe it or not, not everyone on mn is a keyboard warrior, some people do actually speak up for themselves in real life.

museumum · 22/11/2018 20:30

I was the swotty-est swot at school. One girl in my year was expelled for knife crime.
We found ourselves making polite chit chat at the same work Christmas dinner about six years later Shock

DistanceCall · 22/11/2018 20:30

I was severely bullied in school for years.

I would definitely say what Lost describes. If only because it would be the only way for me to refrain from bitch slapping them.

SirGawain · 22/11/2018 20:31

I’ve often come across people who were not particularly nice to me at school. In general I find they have grown up and stopped being as childish as they were then. Perhaps you should be the bigger person and cut them the slack they didn’t give you. It’s very liberating.

BishopBrennansArse · 22/11/2018 20:31

Anyone else thinking sugarsnow was one of the mean girls?

I'm with lost, I'd do the exact same now.

SausageSimon · 22/11/2018 20:32

I was thinking about this myself recently, because a lot of the popular and gobby girls seem to have gone into nursing! Literally only the people I could never imagine caring for anyone but them. Maybe they were just insecure and actually did care about people but were too busy being defensive about themselves?

SnuggyBuggy · 22/11/2018 20:32

@CoffeeKittens Flowers

@Lost good for you and sorry about the victim blaming you have received on this thread.

I personally chose to go to uni in a different town and relocate away from where I grew up as the prospect of coming across school bullies in my adult life was something I didn't want. I have a good life now and I'm thankful not to live where I grew up.

sugarsnow · 22/11/2018 20:33

But lost, can you really not understand how it’s still totally inappropriate?

I see this bothers you and I do understand how horrible it must have been Flowers but to pin someone down at work and insist that they talk about how theydistressed you at school just is peculiar.

If they are a decent human being they will already feel awful; if not, will, they will laugh.

DistanceCall · 22/11/2018 20:36

But lost, can you really not understand how it’s still totally inappropriate?

I can't. Please explain.

(Btw: I don't think lost really "insisted" that anyone talked about how they "distressed" her at school. It was a shock tactic).

MotorcycleMayhem · 22/11/2018 20:37

The girl who made my life utter hell for years from the ages of 12-21 is now a social worker. A fucking social worker! You can't make this shit up.

Whilst I'm pleased for her that she's done well for herself, it horrifies me that someone who was so manipulative, vindictive, violent and aggressive is now in such a position of power.

sugarsnow · 22/11/2018 20:37

‘I ask if they’d like to discuss how appallingly they behaved in school’

I’m sorry, I must be in a different world if anyone thinks that’s normal behaviour.

Jaxhog · 22/11/2018 20:37

I must confess, I'd be rather smug if this happened to me. But I would also politely decline service from them if it would diminish my enjoyment of their service.

LostInShoebiz · 22/11/2018 20:38

Can you not see what it’s like for a bullying victim to be reminded against their will by the perpetrator about what they suffered? Literally pinned down while trying to buy groceries or complete a house sale.

Stick your Flowers you know where.

Lalliella · 22/11/2018 20:41

But sugarsnow they started the conversation by asking Lost if she remembered them. She was just giving an honest answer. She was hardly pinning them down at work. And shame on you for your victim blaming.