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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

‘Popular’ (mean) people from school working in salons...

383 replies

Stubbornuincorn · 22/11/2018 19:52

Not really an AIBU more of a wondering if this happens to anyone else!

I’ve returned to where I grew up and went to school, and I keep finding that the people working in spas/hair salons etc are annoyingly often the ‘popular’ girls that were horrible to me when we were at school.

Recent examples are having to have my hair washed by a girl that used to make fun of me during P.E (literally dreaded PE because of it) and having a sodding full body massage from a really chavvy girl who used to really intimidate me. Even though I’m an adult now I find it really uncomfortable!!

Has this happened to anyone else?

OP posts:

ArtyKitty · 22/11/2018 21:14

I hate these threads. Not because I don't believe there were awful bullies who made people's lives hell. But because now we're all grown ups, there's some people insinuating that now some of these people are working in low skilled jobs, have stayed in their hometown or had kids early means that the bullied children have somehow won and deserve to feel smug. You're EXACTLY the same as them, except you're no longer 16...

MaisyPops · 22/11/2018 21:15

It's not school. People are adults now.

I wouldn't see the point in saying anything as it seems petty and awkward as anything.

I did see a girl who used to be mean to me about my looks in school (think I looked younger for my age and she was deemed one of the hot ones with makeup & bleached hair). She wasn't looking so good. Much as it's very childish, I did take some satisfaction at how life has turned out but that's absolutely me being childish and is never say anything to her

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 22/11/2018 21:17

Lost how rude are you.

Why is it rude to tell a twunt how it is.

DaphneDiligaf · 22/11/2018 21:18

I am shocked that so many people still live in the same area they grew up in. It must be hard to move on and forget.

Polarbearflavour · 22/11/2018 21:19

Nobody is saying that you are lowly if you work retail - it’s just a job after all. But it’s not a desirable, well paid, interesting role. And yes, I have worked in a shop and have no wish to go back to it.

It must be quite satisfying if you have moved to a big city and work in a professional job and have a nice life if people who bullied you at school haven’t been as successful in monetary and lifestyle terms.

I was at an airport recently and I bumped into a woman I used to work with who wasn’t very pleasant. She had her husband and two kids with her. Business class was called and I said “oh that’s me, got to go!” She walked past me in my seat later on (with a glass of champagne) and said “oh you’ve done alright for yourself then” with a glare.

I wasn’t better than her or superior, I just happened to have a bit more money and be flying business class!
I was perfectly polite to her.

She probably thought she was better than me as she was married with two children! Who knows.

UsedtobeFeckless · 22/11/2018 21:19

Poor cat! ( Misses point of thread ... )
Don't want to rain on your proxy vengeance fest but presumably all the successful mean girls are off being rich and fabulous elsewhere so you never come across them again and get a squeezed sample ...

UsedtobeFeckless · 22/11/2018 21:20

Stupid auto correct! Skewed!

Mumberjack · 22/11/2018 21:21

I remember going in for a bikini wax and the beautician was a girl I sort of knew at school. She was a bit wayward and rough but we didn’t have ‘beef’.
Anyway she started talking to me in that kind of masseuse voice all pleasant with no trace of her previous accent and I kind of smiled at her.
I thought, well you’re not going to slag me off for my poor ‘upkeep’ when I could start talking about the ‘old days’ when she had a local accent and stottered about at the weekends taking pills.

Polarbearflavour · 22/11/2018 21:23

But in many cases, the bullies are the ones who aren’t particularly bright or successful at school. The chances are that they will stay in their home towns and work low wage jobs.

Mumberjack · 22/11/2018 21:23

Posted too soon.

Since she befriended me on fb turns out she now lectures in beauty and has won all sorts of awards for her skills and her teaching. So I guess she was just professional and wasn’t guilted into being polite about my nethers.

BillLee · 22/11/2018 21:24

To be honest I think in some cases bullying is merely social training and that seems true for a lot of the posters on here. FWIW I was picked on in school, some of my assailants have done really well for themselves (good for them) others less so (it's a shame). There no correlation between school bullying and life chances after.

ChikiTIKI · 22/11/2018 21:25

I would be sure to say I don't remember them if they asked :)

sugarsnow · 22/11/2018 21:27

Blimey, a local accent? Whaaaaat?

This thread is just snobby.

GunpowderGelatine · 22/11/2018 21:27

Surely nothing bad can come of people being held accountable for their behaviour?

If a boy sexually assaulted someone in school and that person confronted him, she would (rightly) get applause and calls to go to the police. Or if she didnt but said “yeah that guy works in the sewers and doesn’t have a penny to his name” everyone would say “hurrah”.

Yet the girls who knocked seven bells of shite out of someone can’t be confronted, and we can’t be happy she’s not successful, because...because why? She’s female? She works in a low paid job?

I don’t think those two situations are quite comparable, heaven knows I’d rather be bog-standard assaulted than sexually assaulted. But both are crimes, both have long term effects on the victim and both are perpetrated by people who are likely to be inherently violent. So why can’t we confront people - our merely revel in their misery - who’ve been violent to us? Genuine question

ManonBlackbeak · 22/11/2018 21:30

There's a girl who was a bit of a mean girl type in High School who always goes out of way to be nice to me now. She wasn't a bully, just a bit of a bitch but she seems to have a had lot of issues in adulthood like poor health etc and I wonder if that's changed her and made her a different person? She wouldn't have given me the times of day back then.

Serialweightwatcher · 22/11/2018 21:32

I think generally childhood bullies turn into adult bullies ... it's hard to imagine a child who makes someone's (or many people's) lives hell just being a nice, decent human being when they are older .. those traits aren't silly pranks, they are vicious and nasty and without empathy and don't just go away like they never existed

Mumberjack · 22/11/2018 21:33

@sugarsnow I wrote it that way as I have very much a local accent! I couldn’t articulate it properly that she had obviously decided to really work on removing hers.

MaisyPops · 22/11/2018 21:34

DaphneDiligaf
Many people I went to school with are in the same area.
I live in the area I grew up in. Like many others I moved away and then came back to set up home.

It's a bit rude to assume people haven't moved on because they've chosen to live in an area they like.

Some of my friends are spending £1,000-1,500 a month on renting a box in London and doing the city living thing still. It started as a year or two after uni and they've stayed. Ive a good job, a house in a nicr area, my mortgage is a fraction of that. Neither choice is better or worse.

foxtiger · 22/11/2018 21:35

I had a very odd variation on this happen once: I bumped into somebody in the town where I live now, who recognised me and introduced herself as someone I knew slightly at school in a completely different region - and she said "do you remember, I used to make fun of you." She didn't used to make fun of me. Some people did, but I barely knew this girl at school and can only remember having about 2 conversations with her, both of them quite polite. I wouldn't have forgotten if she'd made fun of me, I can clearly remember the people who did. I just don't get what she thought she could gain by pretending she'd done something horrible that she hadn't!

SabineUndine · 22/11/2018 21:35

Hah. When I was a student with a job in a shoe shop, I used to have to fucking SERVE these people, who had left school at 16, got jobs and were now earning enough to expect me to kneel at their feet and do their laces up.

heyjude12 · 22/11/2018 21:35

Actually sugarsnow it sounds very much like you were a bully as all your empathy lies with them.....just a thought

Ohyesiam · 22/11/2018 21:36

Reading threads like this you can tell who wore pink on wednesdays.

RedPandaMama · 22/11/2018 21:37

Yes! Around my mum's of the girls that bullied me relentlessly through school two are hairdressers, one is a nail technician, and the other is an at home teeth whitening/MLM Younique crap/shit eyebrow tattooer person.

3 of the 4 seem really unhappy while I'm living my best life now so I'm not bothered about them really. Live in a different town now (also never get my hair or nails done!) so v rarely see them.

IamPickleRick · 22/11/2018 21:39

To your face FoxTiger. She meant to your face. She sounds like she is still nasty tbh. A lot of bullies still are, very few aren’t. I’m willing to say a lot of them join the beautician industry not because of any social inequalities but because if someone goes around calling people fat and ugly, outward appearances are probably pretty importantand to them.

Princessmushroom · 22/11/2018 21:40

Reading the replies you can see who the bitches at school were, can’t you?

One of my husband’s bullies turned up to clean our house. However awful it did make him feel better about himself. She did a shit job anyway

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