Husband has just walked out for a few days to clear his head...was I BU

[astorminabcup]

So long story short tonight my husband and I decided to take the kids out for a bit of dinner, nowhere fancy just local Wetherspoons type place. Anyway, 11-year-old DS went in a bit of a huff cause he was told he had to pick of child's menu. He eventually chose but still had a sad face on so hubby spat the dummy and says we are now leaving because of DS mood. Cue long silent drive home as hubby is now in a mood.

We get home and he then tells me that DS has spoilt the night and as such he will not be coming to his upcoming birthday meal, I say this is being silly we area family and we are all going. He says under no circumstance is DS going to a family meal. So now there is an atmosphere.

Eventually, I decided that the silence is killing me and I'm not putting up with it only to be told that this is all because I am too soft on DS (he was told off by me for his antics. DS apologised and was told that it wasn't good enough, that he was f'ing sick of him being moody little shit and that he would not be going anywhere with the family again. When I say this is out of order, that he has apologised. OH storms off, saying he has had enough and has now gone upstairs packed an overnight bag and said he will be back in a few days.

Is DS a pain in the backside right now? Yes, eveything is a bloody chore. Is he not cheeky, never gets in trouble at school and everyone tells us how well behaved he is.

So am I being unreasonable for think OH is being an arse or is he in the right for blowing his top.

Help

Oh is behaving appallingly. Your poor son.

Yanbu
Sounds like an excuse to me
What an arse

Idiot who can't cope with normal family life, let him huff off.

Is your DH your son's father?

God your OH sounds like a really nasty man. Your poor boy.

Massive over reaction from dh. Are there other things going on which are stressing him out? Doesn't excuse the behavior but may explain it.
Not really sure what to do. A reassuring chat with ds is needed.

YANBU your husband sounds more like the 11 year old in this scenario. Utterly vile. Is he often like this? Your poor boy. FWIW I can imagine a lot of 11 year old boys would have appetites beyond what's served from a children's menu too

He sounds awful

And I will be honest at 11 why arent you letting him choose of the adult menu if that is what he wants

Your husband is acting more immature than your child. Tell him to make the few days a few weeks to sort out his attitude

Your ds is definitely being bratty. Is there ever proper consequences for your ds when he acts up?
These are the start of pubescent sulks, my dd is an absolute angel outside the home everyone loves her and goes on about how wonderful she is, at home she is a sulky pain. However she knows there’s a line she doesn’t cross and there are clear consequences for bratty behaviour.

Your dh’s reaction however is way over the top. Has he got other things on is mind? Or is this the straw that broke the camels back, & he thinks your ds will ruin his birthday celebrations in a similar manner?

He is hugely overreacting. Sounds like there's more going on with him than a stroppy 11 year old.

Is he usually this bad?

Honestly, I wouldn't be letting him back in. Either he's a total prick, for reacting this way, or there's something else going on.

Massive overreaction and a complete failure to parent. YANBU AT ALL.

If he thinks a bit of face pulling over a meal is worth packing up and walking out over he'll be bloody emigrating when teenage hormones kick in properly. He's a bit of a knob OP.

Do give your boy a hug though, whilst he needs to know his behaviour was unacceptable he also needs to know that his Dad walking out was in no way his fault.

Sounds like he was looking for an excuse. Blaming DS is awful. All children can be a pain but that reaction is completely out of proportion and to rest him walking out on the shoulders of an 11 year old is a dick move.

Such obnoxious behaviour is way out of order; lovely example setting for DS ☹️
I'd tell him not to bother coming back and leave your key in the lock so he can't come back in.

What an over reaction from your DH. 11 year olds push boundaries and continue to do so throughout their teens. The boy apologised so acknowledged his bad behaviour. Swearing at your boy and calling him a moody little shot is a disgusting way to behave. Is your DH going to disappear every time you see a bit of teen angst ? Terrible example to set for your children.

My nearly 2 year old can finish off a child's meal portion so I can only imagine an 11 year still being very hungry after that. Especially after a full day at school.

Your husband is being a dick. He needs to grow up. And in a spoons how much difference in price really was there??? Pick your battles!

On the basis of what you've said here, OH is behaving badly. Try and enjoy your few days of peace!

Surprised that DS at 11 was told he had to pick from children's menu. I would have though portion size was too small, apart from anything else.

My dd is 12 and hasn't chosen from a child's menu for a couple of years. Sounds like your OH is the one causing all the atmosphere and problems, not your ds.

I think I would change the locks.

Second the..is he your son's father?
Such contempt for a child.... sounds like an excuse for some 'alone time'

DH sounds like an utter twat! I’d of hit the roof and kicked him out if anyone tried to scape goat and villafy my child

Your OH is being a knob.
A child behaving badly is not a good enough reason to leave the home overnight. If it was, we'd all have a ready-packed bag under the bed ready to go.
Your DS sounds like he's behaving like a normal 11 year old. Your DH isn't behaving like an adult.
Sounds like there is more too this that you may be aware of.
Hope you are able to resolve this.

Tell him to stay away. What an over reaction. He sounds horrible.

YANBU , your DH is over reacting. I wish I could pack a bag and
disappear off for a few days break away every time one of my teenagers behave like a mardy whatnot!