Husband has just walked out for a few days to clear his head...was I BU

[astorminabcup]

So long story short tonight my husband and I decided to take the kids out for a bit of dinner, nowhere fancy just local Wetherspoons type place. Anyway, 11-year-old DS went in a bit of a huff cause he was told he had to pick of child's menu. He eventually chose but still had a sad face on so hubby spat the dummy and says we are now leaving because of DS mood. Cue long silent drive home as hubby is now in a mood.

We get home and he then tells me that DS has spoilt the night and as such he will not be coming to his upcoming birthday meal, I say this is being silly we area family and we are all going. He says under no circumstance is DS going to a family meal. So now there is an atmosphere.

Eventually, I decided that the silence is killing me and I'm not putting up with it only to be told that this is all because I am too soft on DS (he was told off by me for his antics. DS apologised and was told that it wasn't good enough, that he was f'ing sick of him being moody little shit and that he would not be going anywhere with the family again. When I say this is out of order, that he has apologised. OH storms off, saying he has had enough and has now gone upstairs packed an overnight bag and said he will be back in a few days.

Is DS a pain in the backside right now? Yes, eveything is a bloody chore. Is he not cheeky, never gets in trouble at school and everyone tells us how well behaved he is.

So am I being unreasonable for think OH is being an arse or is he in the right for blowing his top.

Help

If you can't afford to get rid of the man at the moment, make it very clear that you are siding with the DC and encourage them not to let your H's poor behaviour upset them.
OK, this carries some possible risk and if this useless man has ever been physically aggressive with any of you, it's probably not such a good idea. But, if it makes him ramp up the tantrumming, it could also make it easier to get support to throw him out of the house for good.

Husband sound just as much as - if not more emotionally immature than the 11 year old.

Ellapaella the 11 year old doesn't sound emotionally immature at all!

Your lad is at the age where the chemicals rushing around his growing body will increase, views and needs change from child to adult and he looks to "his adults" for behavioural cues.
This is what he gets.
If DH wants to completely fuck up his relationship with your son, let him carry on this way. There is lots more to come. Tell him to pee or get off the pot.

@DBN1 I know that's not what I meant! I meant the husband has the emotional maturity of an 11 year old or younger. Worded it badly. As in his land is behaving like a child.