Did anyone else's Mum not hug them when they were children?

[AjasLipstick]

So painful to ask this.

I know she loves me and did love me.

She had some sort of issue though. I remember one hug...one. I must have been about 8 or so and I was walking down the hallway one afternoon and she sort of stopped me halfway and hugged me awkwardly.

There weren't others. I remember longing for a hug. My Dad hugged me and my Nan did as well as one of my sisters. So I wasn';t completely neglected.

But why couldn't my Mum hug me? I don't remember her hugging my siblings either.

Now I live abroad and only speak to her every few days. I've started to tell her I love her. She's old and might not live that much longer. I feel such enormous pain though. At the child that I was...going through that. No Mum love. :(

My parents never hugged me or showed any affection- said I love you to me.
With my daughter even though she is 1 to from day one I tell her how much i love her every single day and give her plenty of cuddles and i will until the day I die. My parents choices dont affect my parenting one bit.

We weren’t hugged, kissed or told we were loved. I’m 55.

I am early 30's and neither of my parents hugged me or my brothers. There are only 2 hugs I remember, my dad hugged me (in an embarrassed & uncomfortable way!) in my v early 20's when my cat died and I hugged my mum about 4 years after that when she got the call to say her mum had died.
None of us ever say 'I love you' either, although I say it to my DC frequently.

Mine never hugged me. She showed her love by feeding me well, making clothes for me, making wonderful toys for me, teaching me. I determined to give my DSs all the love and hugs they needed, it worked brilliantly for one DS, with the other I realised that hugs and affection were far less important than meals, clothes, material goods. I sometimes feel he'd have had a far better childhood with my mother! They've both turned into decent human beings.

My DM has never hugged me either. She is imo quite emotionally stunted and struggles with any kind of expression of emotion. Watching her being hugged is a sight to behold as she literally just freezes and stands there like a tree. I sort of understand about being hugged by randomers but if you can't accept a hug by a loved one, especially your children then there is something quite fundamentally wrong.

Luckily for me my Dad is very tactile and a hugger as was his mum my late grandmother, so Ive not really missed out.

Can i join this rather strange club?
My mum has rarely hugged me, if she has its been an arm around with and a pat on the back.
My DD1 is also an ice queen, has been since birth. Was never an affectionate baby/child. Now she's 17 she can still appear cold yet she really does care.
Interestingly my mum and DD are hugely affectionate to each other.
I remember DD being about 8 and tripping on mums marble staircase. I ran to her but she pushed me away, fighting back the tears, assuring me she was fine. Out of nowhere my mother appeared and my DD just collapsed into her arms in a mass of tears
OTBH DD2 is a hugely affectionate child who delights in seeing her grandma squirm when she grabs her in a bear hug
I've learnt not to take it personally. I find it harder to accept DD won't accept a hug from me unless she's really down. I treasure her hugs more than all the tearly in China! !

I was never hugged by my parents or my grandparents. My parents made sure I knew I wasn't wanted and wasn't loved. I was an exceptionally obedient and quiet child. I have no friends as I feel I am a nuisance for just existing.

I don't think it's entirely generational as I remember friends who had huggy parents who said I love you to each other but I never had that. ( I'm 48) they'd go mad if I ever accused them of not and deny it but they simply didn't. I think they did it more when we were babies as I've seen in photos but must've stopped after maybe age 4. My siblings admit this too and in comparison we're all very tactile with our own children and them back to us. Mine just blurt out at any time wherever we are ' I love you soo much mummy!' and want to hug all the time. I feel awkward now if my mum even pecks me on the cheek. Shudder.

My parents weren't 'huggy',either. I think cuddles stopped around the time we stopped holding hands when I was no longer little. I suppose they modelled parenting on their own upbringing.
They were warm with the grandchildren though.

I'm 47. My parents never hugged me, never told me they loved me or ever showed any affection at all. I've never felt loved by my parents. I was just there. Even as an adult they never called or visited me. I don't see them any more. Can't be bothered with it.

Same here. No hugs or cuddles from my mum either. Also she did once say that she wishes she never had children or married my dad. I never felt unloved though. I’m 31

I love hugging but my DD10 finds it really awkward. I hug her and it’s like hugging air, she won’t hug back. My DS7 on the other hand gives great big bear hugs. Some people just aren’t huggy, as much as I’d love her to give me a great big bear hug, I have to accept that it makes her uncomfortable.

Mine didn't. I'm 45 and i wondered if it was normal back then. I do remember an uncle saying "Love you" to my cousin/his daughter before bed, but i don't think mine ever said it.

My parents were not huggers/didn’t tell us they loved us etc, however it was obvious they really really did? Never felt neglected or sad about it

Sorry, I'm 47 not 45

I don't think it's generational either as growing I had friends who had huggy parents (I'm in my 30's), and obviously my Dad is and his family are all very tactile.

Could have written that OP! My dad always gave the best hugs and often held on too long as it trying to make up for it 😄 neither of them ever tell/told me they loved me. Hmm. Thy obviously do though so it’s not anything super terrible. Just an odd thing. I was very distant from my mum and I think it was partially because I didn’t have that physical affection often. and since having my own kids I don’t understand how you can not hug your own kids. Strange.

(I’m 28, they’re 50s/60s)

Peanuttybutter... Mine too. She said if she had her time again she wouldn't have had us. ( me and three siblings) or stayed with my dad. What a horrible thing to say! And that was only recently. She still regrets not having a career as she got pregnant immediately after getting married. This was in the 60's.

And we NEVER say that we love each other. I think we’d all die cringeing. But I say it to my DCs and vice versa all day every day!

My family aren't huggers. Never really thought about it tbh, I'm sure she loved you very much.

Never one hug or one kiss. Left home at 17 and never looked back.

No touch, hug, or anything nice - she said 'well done' to me once, when I got my degree results. Nothing positive that I can ever remember either before or after that. Didn't watch me play sport, when I achieved something I was told how (insert anyone) had done it much better than me, evil bitch. She's miserable with everyone and everything and constantly worries about what people think of her and how much everyone else has. No joy anywhere, and pretty much ignores her grandchildren when they visit. It's not something I think about often.

I'm late 30's and can't recall ever having any physical contact at all. Was never told I was loved, or actually anything kind now I think about it. I am now NC and have been for around 8 years