To tell my sister the discussion is over?

[Wheresthewishmagic]

My older sister and I have different values on a lot of things - I am very liberal with my views and she is very conservative. This means that we clash - but it’s always been fairly good natured in the past as it’s been on hypotheticals.
Unfortunately now we’re clashing over a decision I’m making that goes very much against her world views. We’ve talked about it for at least a month, she’s put forward her arguments and I’ve put forward mine but I’ve realised we simply cannot agree.
I COULD choose to not go ahead with this action, however I strongly believe in it and would upset me greatly to not go ahead.
I COULD choose to lie to her about it but I think she’d find out in the future and that would be worse.
I guess therefore I’m choosing to go ahead and be honest about it even though I know it will upset her.
Even if I don’t talk about it she keeps bringing it up which is starting to really upset me and my partner.
This decision has a timeline against it... it can’t wait.
Would it be unreasonable of me to tell her “I’ve heard your views, I understand this is hard on you, but the discussion is over - it’s my decision, I’m going ahead and I’d really appreciate it if you could leave it now and support me as your sister”

Sorry for the vagueness I don’t want to share too much. I guess I would say this is something that does affect her slightly but me greatly... in the way that anyone part of my family would be slightly affected if they knew. This is something that is 100% my decision to make.

I don’t know why you discussed it with her and it depends completely what the issue is.

Kids involved vs some impact on your health eg cosmetic surgery

Sometimes people will never keep out on other people's lives. Older siblings and parents insist on still getting their say and acting up if you don't comply or don't let you forget if your decision doesn't work out.

I think it is about respect - they might not agree but they need to respect that you have your own life and are entitled to make your own decisions. They only have the right on how they decide to respond to your decisions.

Sometimes relationships need to be firmly handled. It may cause issues but in the long term it is needed. I think it's sometimes verges on emotional abuse.

I would “expect” support because it is what I have experienced. I have given this to family members even in some of the most difficult issues, including mental health, abusive relationships, abortion and addiction, whilst holding different views. This is only my view and experience, but just as valid as anyone else’s. I just find it pretty easy to separate out my personal views with their need for support (if we are very close and I really value them otherwise).

I’m a lawyer and am always pretty bemused when people ask how I can argue against what I privately believe. It’s not the same point, but perhaps related.

I don't know why people think this issue is anything to do with abortion.
Now someone else has mentioned euthanasia!

It is more likely something to do with adopting a new faith or supporting a political party - or changing jobs and going abroad, leaving the rest of the family behind.

You have to make the decision and live with it, op, regardless of how your sister feels.

For people asking why would you involve the whole family in the decision to have an abortion...if it is a late termination because of complications then it is likely that the family will be aware of the pregnancy and will likely have their own opinions on whether you should go ahead with the pregnancy or terminate. This is ultimately a decision that can be made by the couple as they will have to live with their decision day to day whichever way they decide.

I assumed that they were going to use an egg donor.

If they've been trying and failing to get pregnant then they might have discussed options with others.

Jux. Yeeeesss. We could ask a hundred different questions, but it would narrow them down significantly if we had a clue what the actual issue is and we could explain things to the OP that she might not have considered, or thinks about differently to her sister. The OP says it does affect the sister, except emotionally. If you re-read my other post you might see how her and her sister see it differently and an outsider might be able to help the OP see her sisters point OR say ‘You’re right, none of her business, I suggest you say x’

It’s an anonymous forum. If you ask for help then you need to give people the information so they can help.

If you don’t feel you need to know the issue, great, but many of us do feel we need to in order to help properly.

I’m not going to blindly say the OP is right because her sister has a lot more information than than we do and her sister may well be right and really worried for her.