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AIBU?

Aibu headteacher undermining me

209 replies

Autumndayswhenthegrassisjewel · 25/10/2018 15:20

I think I know how I'm going to respond to this but would like some mn opinions first!
Scenario: child participates in something at school that I'm not happy with. I tell school I'm not happy for them to participate and they say fine (think religion based) . Next thing I hear is that my ds has had a meeting with the head where he's told why it is fine and he will participate.
For context ds is 7. I'm now more annoyed by the heads actions than the thing itself. Am I right in thinking that if the head wanted to discuss it, it should be with me?as it is I feel our family values and parenting decisions have been undermined and I don't know if I trust other issues to be dealt with properly.
Am I over reacting?

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SilverHairedCat · 25/10/2018 15:26

It depends on whether you've sent your child to a faith school then got upset that they are expected to participate in the faith related programme of events.

It also depends on whether its an enrichment programme in which your child is being exposed to other faiths for their benefit.

However, YANBU in that you have already asked the school to exclude your child from whatever it is. What are they supposed to do with your child during that event instead?

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SEsofty · 25/10/2018 15:55

Is it a faulith school

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arethereanyleftatall · 25/10/2018 15:59

They shouldn't have said fine to you if it wasn't fine.

That said, I echo the others question, is it a faith school?

Because if you have chosen a faith school, and then are asking the school to organise something different for your child when they are doing something related to being a faith school, then you would be unreasonable.

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bridgetreilly · 25/10/2018 16:05

Did you actually withdraw your child from whatever it was? And was it a thing that you're entitled to withdraw them from? If so, the school is very much in the wrong. On the other hand if you just said vaguely you aren't happy about something, and it's something that's compulsory, then the school is being perfectly reasonable.

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GadsdenFlag · 25/10/2018 16:51

Let me guess, you're one of those whoppers that's sent your kid to a faith school to keep to keep them away from the riff raff but your balking at the religion aspect of it and now you expect them to change their curriculum to suit you?

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anniehm · 25/10/2018 17:22

If it's a faith school then it's unreasonable for you to pull your child from faith based activities - you chose the school. I'm guessing first communion from the age? This is a right of passage in catholic schools and is why we didn't send our kids to one despite pressure from dgp's and it being the best school here.

If it's a normal state school then raise it with the governors, the head was out of line.

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Sirzy · 25/10/2018 17:25

I think a lot more detail is needed really. Did ds want to participate? Was he upset at not being allowed to?

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iamthere123 · 25/10/2018 17:27

.

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flumpybear · 25/10/2018 17:51

More info please

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C0untDucku1a · 25/10/2018 17:54

Is he a sheep in the nativity?

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SillySallySingsSongs · 25/10/2018 17:54

No one can answer on the info you have given

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Wolfiefan · 25/10/2018 17:55

As others have said it depends if it’s a faith school. But they should have contacted you. Not spoken to your child.

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3teens2cats · 25/10/2018 17:56

Difficult to say without knowing exactly what the activity or event is.

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Etino · 25/10/2018 17:57

Schools are pretty good at allowing children to sit out of faith based activities. Is it faith based? I’m not sore from your OP.
If it’s not and you’re objecting to contact sports or watching a non age appropriate drill or cooking with eggs when you’re vegan, that’s completely different.

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donquixotedelamancha · 25/10/2018 18:02

Am I over reacting? Who knows?

For context ds is 7. I think you could afford to give a little more context.

I'm choosing to assume that school are having him circumcised- YANBU.

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Autumndayswhenthegrassisjewel · 25/10/2018 18:02

OK sorry for drip feeding, just don't want to out myself. Yes it's a faith school but as far as I'm concerned it's an activity which is against that faith. For example a Muslim school asking kids to part take in trying non halal food (only it's not that extreme!). As far as the activity is concerned, I'd have been happy to discuss and find out more info. I asked not to participate as it was due that day and I didn't have chance to discuss it. Does that make sense?!

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Wordsandpictures · 25/10/2018 18:03

This isn't the same OP (different name) whose 7 year old was at a private RC school and she objected to him going on a church visit is it? I remember the ds was 7 in that one too. Need more info.

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Autumndayswhenthegrassisjewel · 25/10/2018 18:04

Ps I'm happy to explore other faiths in a hypothetical context but not to take an active faith. So let's find out what Hindus believe but I don't want them praying to hindu gods.

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Autumndayswhenthegrassisjewel · 25/10/2018 18:04

No not me

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Nyon · 25/10/2018 18:05

It makes sense but you knowingly and willingly sent your child to a faith school, therefore accepting aspects of that faith. YABU. Withdraw your child from a faith school if the faith is unacceptable to you.

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bobisbored · 25/10/2018 18:06

Is it sex Ed?

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Wolfiefan · 25/10/2018 18:07

A faith school doing an activity which is anti the faith they are meant to be supporting? I would be stunned.

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PawneeParksDept · 25/10/2018 18:07

Although I appreciate you are trying not to "out" it's still quite unclear

Can you give a better like for like example - it doesn't even have to be an RE based one, just one that demonstrates the issue with the activity.

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Coldilox · 25/10/2018 18:08

A faith school doing an activity which is anti the faith they are meant to be supporting? I would be stunned.

This

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TwllBach · 25/10/2018 18:08

I taught in a faith school and there was a particular group of people that were of the same religion that sent their children to the school anyway. There were huge swathes of time that these children were separated from the rest of the school because they weren’t allowed to take part in the activities (weren’t allowed by their parents, not school) and I honestly didn’t see the point in them attending. It was at least once a week that they were removed.

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