Aibu headteacher undermining me

[Autumndayswhenthegrassisjewel]

I think I know how I'm going to respond to this but would like some mn opinions first!
Scenario: child participates in something at school that I'm not happy with. I tell school I'm not happy for them to participate and they say fine (think religion based) . Next thing I hear is that my ds has had a meeting with the head where he's told why it is fine and he will participate.
For context ds is 7. I'm now more annoyed by the heads actions than the thing itself. Am I right in thinking that if the head wanted to discuss it, it should be with me?as it is I feel our family values and parenting decisions have been undermined and I don't know if I trust other issues to be dealt with properly.
Am I over reacting?

Is the faith Involved the same as the faith of the school?

Up here plenty of non catholic kids go to RC schools and are not allowed to take first communion etc.

OK sorry for drip feeding

Typically drip feeds contain further information.

Twll it’s because the values are likely to be similar.

OK, example would be giving a pro abortion class in sex Ed in a roman Catholic school. Anyway, like I said in original post, it's not so much the activity itself it's the fact the head went behind my back to discuss it. Due to its faith nature its left my son a bit confused as to who to believe. It would be easier in a non faith setting as I could simply say to my ds 'we believe this but others have different opinions'.

It's either something you have the right to withdraw your child from, or it isn't. Usually, in state schools, you can withdraw your child from religious education and sex education. If it is one of those, YANBU. Otherwise, the Head may simply be exercising their legitimate authority to require your child to participate in lessons or school activities, and you may need to calm down.

Is the school doing Halloween activities by any chance?

It isn't 'going behind your back' when the HT of a school speaks to your child. They are in the care of the HT during the school day.

What is it?

Not in the area I live in now but where I grew up, one of the Catholic schools had a large Muslim intake and it was because huge bonds had been built between the local imam and the local priest. The Muslim community saw the school as one which was friendly and welcoming to them, which is a lovely thing and an understandable one.

When the OP is cryptic and won’t reveal the crucial bit of info for me reason whatsoever

• no reason

If it is that children of the say RC faith are being taken to a Mosque or synagogue or have people from those faith groups come to the school to teach them how what their faith community worships then I do think the HT was right to reassure the child and the OP is being unreasonable. Children are being taught about aspects of another faith so that they can understand and be tolerant in accordance with British Values. If a child of any faith or none is excluded from learning the fundamental believes of a faith community therein sows ignorance and intolerance.

I'm guessing halloween stuff too!

Have you spoken to the school? Any chance you have misunderstood what they were doing? I can’t imagine they would have the kids doing something that their parents would be against on the basis of their faith.

I would bet its a Halloween activity. Some denominations of Christian are fine with it, others not.
From a teacher's perspective, this is 100% the sort of bullshit my head would pull. It's disrespectful and confusing for the child.

Your examples are over the top because they're expressing your feelings about the activity 

It's going to a Gudwara or a temple, or visiting a mosque and taking your shoes off isn't it?

All totally fine for children to learn about other religions.

None of them are 'anti' your faith.

OP re your post at 18.13 above, you can still tell your child "We believe this, that group believes that" I don't understand why you cannot say that just because you are from a faith group??

YANBU- he doesn't even need a transfusion.

For love of goodness op, just tell us

YABU- It's turkey bacon, not real bacon.

I think MrsFionaCharming might be close.

YANBU based on your first post.

You might be being unreasonable based on your second.

Have you withdrawn your child from divali celebrations?
Visiting a mosque?

Stop giving 'examples'. If you want an opinion based on what actually happened, tell us what actually happened.

I bet it's Halloween related. Just relax OP. Let your child chose their own way. It's not fair to make them chose to live your way if it means isolating them from their peers.

It's sounds as though the Head explained the plan and your D.C. thought it was an ok idea so decided to take part.

Good on them for having free will

No it's not halloween and I'm not trying to be cryptic. It's just I think it would be outing if I said. Sorry! However halloween is a really good example. I don't think Christians should celebrate Halloween but some of them do. So if I tell my kids that we don't do halloween cos we're Christians and others do then it confuses them. As I keep saying though, my issue is less with this and more about not understanding why the head couldn't have just asked me directly. If he'd have said, sorry its compulsory then I could've chatted to my son about it myself. We could've used it as an exercise in educating him about other faiths etc. As it is, he's just confused.