Aibu headteacher undermining me

[Autumndayswhenthegrassisjewel]

I think I know how I'm going to respond to this but would like some mn opinions first!
Scenario: child participates in something at school that I'm not happy with. I tell school I'm not happy for them to participate and they say fine (think religion based) . Next thing I hear is that my ds has had a meeting with the head where he's told why it is fine and he will participate.
For context ds is 7. I'm now more annoyed by the heads actions than the thing itself. Am I right in thinking that if the head wanted to discuss it, it should be with me?as it is I feel our family values and parenting decisions have been undermined and I don't know if I trust other issues to be dealt with properly.
Am I over reacting?

If OP does this with a lot of activities or class topics, then maybe the head is now trying to go around her to ensure he child receives a proper education.

Learning about something is not the same as being converted. And doing something related to a religious act is not the same as doing that religious act. If that is what the head explained to the child then it is a very fair and valid point of education for that child. Perhaps the OP has done this before and the head cannot deal with it and provide an education.

Youre being far too crypic to ever get informed feedback. Real example needed OP.

I agree that you have every right to be annoyed, with the situation as you describe it, and it should be made very clear to the school why you are annoyed.

We were most annoyed with our son's chaplain when he was "admitted to communion" age 8.5. We thought we had made clear that we did not want this, did not agree with it, but were happy for him to attend the sessions explaining the communion service (as a chorister about to start singing at them). The "misunderstanding" left things rather confused for our son until he was older and ready to choose to be confirmed - the point at which we consider taking communion to be appropriate.

Oh just tell us! Can't stand this stupid game where someone drip feeds and then leaves you dangling.
Either say it, via a name change if necessary or don't post!

What does the OP imagine will happen if she tells us what the issue is?

The head already knows what's happened here because the head was involved in it.

it’s not clear that it was the Head that said no initially. It might have been the class teacher who said it was fine for him not to participate and then the head over ruled them because it’s not a part of the curriculum that parents have a right to withdraw their children from.

Yoga in an RC school?
If so, it really isnt a problem (although I know some RC parents think it is...)

Oh just tell us! Can't stand this stupid game where someone drip feeds and then leaves you dangling.

Oh come on. Usually when trolls do this it's boringly obvious. OP is the best we've had for a bit. This was fun.

I’ll admit that Halloween has become as commercial as Christmas, but isn’t it originally Christian in origin? All Hallows’ Eve & Soul Cakes?

The situation matters.
For example, you can't run a school if there are hundreds of parents picking their way through the national curriculum line by line, opting in or out, treating classes like an a la carte menu.

If it is to do with Religious Education then you still have the right of withdrawal. Very common for Jehovahs Witnesses to be withdrawn from anything relating to Christmas especially in primary school. Whether this school is a faith one or not, the head teacher should not be advising the pupil that he has to do anything...he is on dodgy ground under the RE provisions in the 1944 Education Act.
If the Head is struggling with this I suggest he consults with the specialist RE teachers in the local secondary schools as we tend to know far more about this and how to deal with it sensitively than the non-specialists at primary level.

OP, I know you want advice on whether the head telling your child that it's fine, they'll be involved anyway, is OK or not.

No one can answer objectively that unless you explain what the scenario is. It's very dependant on what the "thing" is.

Being at a Christian school, as a non Christian, and you not wanting your child to write and perform a long speech about Christ being the meaning of Christmas, would be perhaps different to being at a Christian school as a non Christian, and not wanting your child to colour in a picture of Jesus in a manger.

Probably rubbish examples, but you see what I'm trying to say

@donquixotedelamancha You Pastafarian you! 

You Pastafarian you!

Did you catch the Diego one? That's even more obscure.

I think you are perfectly entitled to talk to the headmaster about this. I dont think it is appropriate to tell a 7 year old that they can do something the parent has not approved, and the parent has said they are not happy with.
It would annoy me if I had specified what I was happy and what not happy for my children to do, faith school or not.

It doesn't make an ounce of difference what the activity was, whether the OP is of the religion that the school follows, or even whether she isn't yet knowingly chose that school.

The parent asked to withdraw her child from a religious activity, as is her right, and the Head agreed to do so. The Head then directly contradicted what he had agreed, and spoke to the child to contradict their mother.

That is unacceptable.

It would annoy me if I had specified what I was happy and what not happy for my children to do, faith school or not.

But do you understand that you don't have the right to choose everything your child does at school?

I can only assume by the lack of any detail the OP knows she is in the wrong really but was hoping by being sketchy she could get everyone agreeing she was reasonable!

IrnBruTortie

Yoga!

What do RC have against yoga!?

Yoga is a spiritual practice...

Have you withdrawn your DS from other activities OP?

He is in a faith based school, what the activity is is highly likely not to have been anti that faith and is more likely to come under the heading of learning about other cultures. The school would likely have an Ofsted issue in that case eg entire RC school said no to Diwali.

If it is a science based matter, they have to teach evolution even if they then say in assembly God made the world in 7 days. Same with sex ed and other potentially religious-contentious issues.

I'd love to know what it is only because I think it is highly unlikely the head took this course unless you were, frankly being bonkers.

@donquixotedelamancha something to do with Maradona and the "Hand of God"? Please keep them coming, I'm full of cold and you're cheering me up no end.

Actually we don’t know whether the OP asked to withdraw her child from a religious activity. Her subsequent posts more like she asked for the child to be withdrawn from an activity because she believes it is against her religion. Which is subtly different.

For example, you can't run a school if there are hundreds of parents picking their way through the national curriculum line by line, opting in or out, treating classes like an a la carte menu.

But that's not what's at stake here! The head clearly had 10 minutes in his day to deal with this particular issue. He could have spent it talking to OP, finding out her concerns, reassuring her if possible or explaining his reasons for overriding her.

Instead he chose to spend it talking to her young DC, convincing them (or at least suggesting, underpinned with all the weight of his head teachers authority) that the op was wrong. That's not ok.

For the person who said it could be that happen is secular not Christian, I disagree (I also don't personally care!) The head may unilaterally decide that it's not in consideration of whether to include it in the range of RE activities that parents have the right to withdraw their DC from, but op doesn't have to agree. And she shouldn't expect her child to be taken out of lessons by a head (that he may rarely speak to one on one) to be told that

Halloween, not happen