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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to not know how to respond to this message...

646 replies

WigglyBraddins · 22/10/2018 12:14

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 22/10/2018 22:36

Why waste your time. Not sure why the random e appeared there.

limpbizkit · 22/10/2018 22:37

I'd go for ' sorry I didn't really get what you were saying in that message. Just skim read as was a bit of an essay! Lol. Just got some bits on so can't speak at the min. Maybe catch up later. Just off to insert friend name for a Chinese' or similar. Doesn't give him the satisfaction of thinking you've even read let alone analysed the message and the fact you're mentioning food further drills it in that you've taken zero interest in his message. Then don't reply any further and block. Or gradually phase him out by being 'busy' really dampens his fire if it is inflammatory

MarcieBluebell · 22/10/2018 22:39

Something tells me he's done this a few times

Agree.

I've had the misfortune to know some weirdos and they get off on it. Really calculating. Hard to believe unless you see it.

Inertia · 22/10/2018 22:40

Glad to read that you did choose cake instead of writing a reply. Very wise.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 22/10/2018 22:41

Men are so funny.

LellyMcKelly · 22/10/2018 22:43

Though telling him to fuck off while eating cake is even better 😁

looondonn · 22/10/2018 22:44

Ah god utter tosser
I had this happen to me once

I am 5 11 and was a size 14
He was much shorter and 17 stone with a very ugly double chin and fat belly
After a lovely long date he told me he was thinking of asking to stay friends but just wanted to check if I would ever be keen on getting down to a SIZE 8 for him
It would mean the world to him !!!!

Was too astonished to ever answer the toad

Original poster
WigglyBraddins · 22/10/2018 22:47

@LellyMcKelly I am crying! That is genius!

OP posts:
AGHHHH · 22/10/2018 22:51

What a ridiculous message.

If you told him to give his head a wobble would that be classed as masturbating, because he sounds like a massive bellend?

Joinourclub · 22/10/2018 22:53

starrynitelight response is my favourite.

I think a flippant, don't care, response is best. Going on about his small penis won't upset him, it will satisfy him as it will feed into his idea that all women are either weak little man pleasers or angry man haters.

Amibeingnaive · 22/10/2018 22:56

I'd probably just go with ' you had me at 'urgh''

Then block.

JudgeRulesNutterButter · 22/10/2018 22:57

I would go with just

huh?

He won’t know if that’s because you’re saying his message makes no sense because you don’t need to lose weight, or if you genuinely don’t understand. And either way the message gets across that his negging had no impact because you couldn’t even make sense of it.

If he replies again after that, go with “I choose cake” Grin

Mumbojumbob · 22/10/2018 22:57

‘I’ve actually just found an incredible way to shed 13 stone.. BYEEEEE’

Blackness78 · 22/10/2018 22:59

"You like small women, I like big dicks; it sounds like we're both in a bit of a conundrum lol".

Shockers · 22/10/2018 23:04

I’d go with LOL, 😂, or I choose cake too.

All will leave him frustrated at your lack of emotion.

Muddlewitch · 22/10/2018 23:20

Well done for not replying and blocking op, I think that was the best response.

I think I'd have been tempted to go with 'no worries (name) all the best for the future' - but used the wrong name as though I couldn't quite remember who he was.

FluffySox · 22/10/2018 23:26

Glad to see you have blocked him OP.

My reply suggestion..

"Oh man you really had me going there! I though you were trying to tell me you have an STI. I saw that bumpy bit on your balls and I did wonder.

Anyhow it looks like we aren't compatible so nothing to worry about after all. Well, I've nothing to worry about. Good luck with your lumpy bumpy issue."

Jux · 22/10/2018 23:29

"I don't normally waste time on men with tiny dicks, but in your case it was worth a try. So now I know that I still don't like men with tiny dicks, 'urgh' right back atcha Smile"

BigBumandMumTum · 22/10/2018 23:53

Hi,thanks for being honest, that must have been difficult.
To show there's no hard feelings I talked to some of my friends that are more your type, one particular friend, size 6,said "not even If you paid me" another, size 8, said "I wouldn't even touch him with someone else's" and the rest just laughed
So, good luck with that.

amprev · 23/10/2018 00:01

I would send two texts. The first would be thanking him for the kick up the backside you really needed and because you feel you are falling for him you are going to start the weight loss routine right here right now - it's a small price to pay to have the chance to be with him, he's such a catch etc etc and clearly understands how women tick. Then the second text should say, sorry, what I meant was, get to fuck.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 23/10/2018 00:18

I’d put:
I had a similar feeling, Your penis was well... just far too small for me. Clearly you didn’t know how to use it either. I hope you understand I couldn’t possibly be with someone with such a small dick. Don’t get me wrong I know it’s not all about size. However that small and thin clearly isn’t going to work for me. I may of managed to act the other night but I couldn’t possibly keep up the pretence everytime. Hope you understand.

averageisgood · 23/10/2018 00:28

I would say "I usually like fit, interesting and intelligent men with good sized dicks, thought I'd try out someone different, but urgh, it just didn't work. I know you can't help it. I hate to do this to you. Best of luck and all that

martinidry · 23/10/2018 00:33

"Who is this?" should suffice.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking · 23/10/2018 00:57

I know you've already taken your action, but in a case like this I wouldn't lower myself to his level by criticising him or get angry and tell him to fuck off. I'd run with something like:

"Wow. Can't say I was expecting this message. I'm afraid I don't wish to "meet you in the middle", as I'm perfectly happy with myself as I am and don't feel the need to change myself to fit someone else's tastes. Good luck out there."

totallyaddicted · 23/10/2018 00:58

I wouldn't say anything I'd just send him a selfie of me tucking into a monster piece of chocolate cake and give him a thumbs up.

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