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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to not know how to respond to this message...

646 replies

WigglyBraddins · 22/10/2018 12:14

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
firsttimemummy17 · 24/10/2018 10:00

I would ignore the message, block his number and move on. There is nothing sensible to reply to this.

I had the opposite situation where guys liked curvy women whereby I have always been slim, not skinny, but just slim with some curves. And I was always made feel insecure about my looks as a result. It’s not worth the heartache. Like he said, you can’t help what you are attracted to.

Middersweekly · 24/10/2018 10:14

Well I am glad you deleted and blocked him OP fair play. I would have definitely wound him up first but that’s just me 😂 I would have suggested that I was very busy with other dick appointments booked up right through the month so it was no loss to me!

Londonmamabychance · 24/10/2018 11:04

I would struggle so hard not to send a long lecturing pissed off message to this, but I think the most effective thing would be to simply never respond. Go completely silent and shost him. Best put down.

strawberrisc · 24/10/2018 11:11

Blocking and deleting was boring compared to these responses but HONESTLY the most dignified response!

Out of interest, if you send a message to a blocked number, does it somehow let you know? E.g. fail to send mssage or something?

BoeandBall · 24/10/2018 12:32

My partner says send him a photo of a cocktail sausage and put "don't worry, I've found something more filling than you" Grin

ralfeesmum · 24/10/2018 13:08

Tell him "one day you will probably be baldy.....and that's something there ain't yet a cure for!"

Wot.A.Wally.

sophe · 24/10/2018 15:13

No man says "super realistic". This is either a spoof or has been sent to you by a female friend as a joke.

KateBlossom · 24/10/2018 15:47

You are a size 12? Oh my days what an absolute pig of a pig! How inflated are these blokes egos and how rude?! Yuk...just revolting. Maybe screenshot all these fabulous responses from all these fabulous women and send them all as your reply. Then block him and erase the pleb from your memory bank xx

dontalltalkatonce · 24/10/2018 15:59

It doesn't matter what size you are, people who shag someone and then tell them they don't like their body type are cunts.

Clairenewbie · 24/10/2018 15:59

I couldn’t be bothered reading that, what a boring man he is.
Just reply YAWN

ReadMyLipss · 24/10/2018 16:06

So what was your reply?

Wideeyedandlegless · 24/10/2018 16:56

I know you've blocked him now, but I would have replied - that's far to deep for me!

Ethsmum · 24/10/2018 17:10

AIBU to get the hump when I’m in the playground at the end of the day waiting for the children to come out of school. Some of the Parents are so busy on their phones to take notice of their children. The phones are more important. I want them to drop their B**y phones and take notice of their children, because you won’t get those days back again.

PurpleDaisies · 24/10/2018 17:28

You need to start your own thread eths.

I’d suggest you take your judge pants off first though.

HannahE85 · 24/10/2018 17:39

His name doesn't start with an A does it? I was with a guy several years ago and he wrote a letter to me, sounding pretty much like that. At the time I was so vulnerable and even joined the gym. In hindsight I should of told him to just do one. That wasn't the only thing.
He also broke up with me over my disability and said I shouldn't be with anyone as a result of it. Fast forward and I am happily married to a wonderful man and we have a beautiful 5month little girl. Oh and I have many wobbly bits now!!

Jux · 24/10/2018 18:07

Eths?? Eh?

chocolatebox1 · 24/10/2018 18:16

OP - did you reply/decide not to? Even if you didn't, I sincerely hope that someone will utterly humiliate this man at some point in the near future - he demonstrates traits of someone who could be emotionally abusive and controlling. He probably sends texts like this because if he said it in person he'd frequently get drinks thrown over him

WigglyBraddins · 24/10/2018 18:45

@chocolatebox1 I ignored and blocked while eating cake and felt huge gratitude for the wisedom/comedy/love/genius of MNers :)

OP posts:
Wildheartsease · 24/10/2018 20:45

Enjoy that cake - far more satisfying than the life he has ahead of him.

user1473878824 · 24/10/2018 21:32

@lovetoshop are you the bloke?

WigglyBraddins · 24/10/2018 21:45

@user1473878824 that’s a good question!

@liketoshop ?

OP posts:
chocolatebox1 · 24/10/2018 22:24

@WigglyBraddins Good for you! Best not get bogged down in an argument but I hope the next lady he insults deals with him....harshly?!! You keep eating whatever you like, you're perfect as you are and anyone who has the audacity to say otherwise can go do one!

Carriecakes80 · 24/10/2018 23:04

I would say
' I am so glad you messaged! It does make it much easier to let you know I really usually only go for guys with average to large sized genitals, as it has never worked for me before to be with someone so tiddly-tiny! However, perhaps what would work best is I meet someone with a life, and you stay single, waiting for some pointless stick to let you dictate her life to her!
Bon voyage!
Ps its true! Small ones do work harder, so at least you have that! x

SaraNK · 25/10/2018 03:41

I don't understand... you said it's a good question OP, 'are you the bloke?'

Who's @like/lovetoshop by the way?

Whatdoyouknow2 · 25/10/2018 04:28

Put 'aw don't worry about it, I couldn't have coped with your bad breath anyway,no hard feelings'

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