Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed my kids are not invited to MIL 80th party

252 replies

ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 22:32

MIL is having an 80th Party.
H is invited. Kids (14 and 11) and I are not.
The other grandkids (early 20's) are.
That's crap, isnt it?

OP posts:
shouldwestayorshouldwego · 20/10/2018 22:34

Depends how much you and they want to go.

hammeringinmyhead · 20/10/2018 22:35

Are the spouses of your husband's siblings invited?

UpstartCrow · 20/10/2018 22:36

Yanbu, thats really crap.

tillytrotter1 · 20/10/2018 22:37

Saves on presents!

Returnofthesmileybar · 20/10/2018 22:37

Why are you not invited? It depends on the party, if it's at night in a pub/club etc then I understand why they aren't and I don't think you can compare them to 20+ year olds

Neolara · 20/10/2018 22:38

Yup. Pretty crap. Assume there is background?

Dermymc · 20/10/2018 22:39

Depends on party type, eg adult meal out then I can understand the lack of invite.

LoniceraJaponica · 20/10/2018 22:40

That's just weird family dynamics. Ironically only DD and I went to MIL's 80th as OH was unwell. It would have been unthinkable not to invite all of us.

Moussemoose · 20/10/2018 22:40

Do you really want to go?

Sometimes you need to be grateful for small mercies.

LagunaBubbles · 20/10/2018 22:40

Obviously there is a backstory then.

fairislecable · 20/10/2018 22:40

If I was 80 I would want to see my grandchildren more than any other family.

They give me joy.

Perhaps the organiser of the party does not realise what really matters in life.

HollowTalk · 20/10/2018 22:41

I have never met any of these people that are talked about on MN, who invite one partner without the other, or without the children.

Why would your MIL do something like that?

waterandlemonjuice · 20/10/2018 22:41

Yep It's crap

Slimtimeagain · 20/10/2018 22:43

Very weird not to invite you but I can understand the children if the venue doesn't allow!
There's obviously a drip feed.

TheDowagerCuntess · 20/10/2018 22:50

Never mind the kids, why are you not invited?!

AnnaMagnani · 20/10/2018 22:53

It's crap.

However I remember going to my nan's 80th as a teen. It was dull. Be grateful for silver linings.

flowery · 20/10/2018 22:53

How odd. Why is that, do you know?

MovingtoLondonAgain · 20/10/2018 22:53

Is this actually your own MIL and grandparent to your children? Or Your MIL and step-GP to your children?

If the answer to either of the above is yes, it is outrageous to invite her son but not the wife and kids - what a fucker! I wouldn’t speak to her again. Nor would I aknowledge her birthday in anyway.

Original poster
ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 22:59

SIL has invited H by phone.
I don't know if MIL knows about the 'party' or it is a surprise?
The 'party' is at her house - just a nice lunch for the family (around 10)
not catered and very low key.
Everyone will be there except me and 2 of the 5 grandchildren. I don't care about me at all but I am annoyed the kids aren't invited.
Re 'form' - well once when kids were little we were invited for Christmas. Kids were poorly over a week before so we said 'can we let you know nearer the day as dont want to bring germs down' Oh yes was reply, we have plenty of food / beds. we confirmed 4 days before - kids clear of bug by 48 hours can we still come? - yes no probs.
then at 4pm Christmas eve as we loaded a 6 and 4 year old into the car for a long journey - we got a phone call - sorry, no longer convenient, realised not enough seating. We had pizza for our Christmas dinner that year, kids didn't mind but I thought it was awful.

H has taken kids to his parents for the last two summers to visit PIL.
(its a 3OOM trip)

OP posts:
FunSponges · 20/10/2018 23:01

YANBU. That's not on and your DH needs to be asking why.

Original poster
ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 23:02

sorry does that count as a drip feed? Confused

OP posts:
DerelictWreck · 20/10/2018 23:03

Are you sure the text from SiL wasnt an invite for you all?

If not, what does your DH say about you all not being invited?

MyOtherProfile · 20/10/2018 23:04

He needs to ask why his wife and kids aren't invited.

Returnofthesmileybar · 20/10/2018 23:06

What the actual fuck?? No sorry I change my mind, I assumed it must be a party in a pub, it's a lunch at home?? Ok look they clearly don't like you. I wouldn't have bothered with them after the Christmas affair but after this I definitely wouldn't bother, they sound so rude it will be no loss. I would encourage your dh to go just because mil is 80 and odds are it will be her last big birthday but I would make it clear you and the kids were done with the lot of them

mytieisascarf · 20/10/2018 23:06

Why is your DH not doing anything about this? Mine would make it clear that if his family were not invited then he would not be attending.