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To be annoyed my kids are not invited to MIL 80th party

252 replies

ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 22:32

MIL is having an 80th Party.
H is invited. Kids (14 and 11) and I are not.
The other grandkids (early 20's) are.
That's crap, isnt it?

OP posts:

LoniceraJaponica · 21/10/2018 07:12

I wiuld feel inclined to stir it up a little by asking MIL about why only OH has been invited. It would spoil the surprise element for SIL (evil grin).


Juells · 21/10/2018 07:14

Haha Lonicera, you're evil!


BertrandRussell · 21/10/2018 07:14

I would ring my sil and find out what was happening. Otherwise it’s all Chinese whispers. Don’t ring mil until you’re sure she’s involved.


EK36 · 21/10/2018 07:19

Think your husband should ask his sister why. I wouldn't be happy about hubby going without us.


bimbobaggins · 21/10/2018 07:37

It sounds like they haven’t sorted out their seating issues yet Smile


BertrandRussell · 21/10/2018 07:40

Nope. The OP should ring sil. No middle men.


Fontofnoknowledge · 21/10/2018 07:48

Why all the drama. Why on earth can't you just call your SIL and ask her .? Is it really that hard ?


Wednesdaypig · 21/10/2018 07:58

As long as dh was planning on doing something himself for his mother's 80th then he should turn it down. If he wasn't then maybe sil felt she should include him in her meal? Maybe she knew you wouldn't come anyway without the children? And if she doesn't like you I can understand her not wanting to cook for an extra 5 people! Inviting dh was probably her best compromise. Hope he tells her why he won't be going.


Nopuns · 21/10/2018 08:12

Can't believe you are married to such a wet blanket that won't challenge this situation


junebirthdaygirl · 21/10/2018 08:16

But is it not sil having her dm over to her family for her 80th and just asked dh( her son) if he cared to join them. Its not a party and its not a big deal. Its only lunch in her home as l am sure they do often anyway as she lives near them.
Especially as you said dh visits in the Summer. Did you mean he visits his elderly mother once a year. And you never see her. Come on 300 miles is nothing so thats pretty bad contact with an elderly parent. I think its a big fuss over nothing.
Why don't ye as a family mark this milestone birthday yourselves by driving down there and bring the lady out for lunch on a different weekend , arriving with flowers and cards to celebrate gms birthday. Stop making this about your dcs whose only job here is to make a fuss of gm on her big birthday.


notdaddycool · 21/10/2018 08:24

Husband should say not coming and you should invite MIL to lunch to celebrate the day before ( possibly inviting whole family if you can fit them in)


IdaDown · 21/10/2018 08:29

If the invite really is for DH only

and if he is intending to go (for the weekend) on his own

DH would have to be the one to explain what’s going on to the DCs.


LoniceraJaponica · 21/10/2018 08:30

"Come on 300 miles is nothing"

Come on, driving 300 miles on our crowded roads is a complete and utter PITA Hmm


Accountant222 · 21/10/2018 08:31

It's crap and quite frankly offensive.

BUT be grateful for small mercies, this can be your get out of future events, also when the elderly needs care, don't go.


DerelictWreck · 21/10/2018 08:42

So did SiL actually say on the phone that you and kids weren't invited? Or did she just say to dh 'you're invited' or 'just wanted to invite you' and he has taken it to mean only him?


IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 21/10/2018 08:46

Why do you let your husband treat you like this? Your ILs are awful but your husband is worse.


Bluetrews25 · 21/10/2018 08:50

The MIL is not a nice woman, from what I have read.
SIL equally so.
They have not invited you? Great. Any other family and you might be missing out on a lovely event, but that does not sound like the case here.
Let DH go. Let him take one for the team, so to speak.
Tell the truth to your DCs, just give facts, no opinions. They do not need to be upset that someone vile does not want them at a boring event which will involve masses of travel time. They are not going to be upset about it unless you make this into a big 'they don't like you' issue. It's more 'they are very self centred and have odd ideas' thing.


SputnikBear · 21/10/2018 08:52

You keep saying the other GC are invited but they’re adults. So basically no children have been invited because the party is adults only.


diddl · 21/10/2018 08:53

Any chance that this is coming from the husband that there is no invitation-ie he's the one who doesn't want his wife & kids there?


PomBearsAtWaitrose · 21/10/2018 08:58

Your DH is either completely wet or trying himself to not invite you. Neither is nice.


PomBearsAtWaitrose · 21/10/2018 08:59

Remember, no matter how horrible you think they are... they obviously knew when making the invite that your dh would happily go along with this.


OrdinarySnowflake · 21/10/2018 08:59

Don't hide it from the dcs. If your MIL and SIL hate you so much, then who knows what poison they are dripping in their ears when they visit without you.

Tell them the truth, dad has been invited to grannys 80th, but the rest of us aren't invited so dad's going alone. Perhaps pre-warn your DH you'll do this so he can decide if he'd rather let down MIL and SIL, or his dcs.


MissEliza · 21/10/2018 09:00

He has taken the kids for the last two summers to visit PIL. So your dcs have only seen their dgps twice in two years and you didn't go at all. 300 mile round trip isn't that bad.


C0untDucku1a · 21/10/2018 09:01

I am utterly appalled your husband is going.


EdisonLightBulb · 21/10/2018 09:14

I don't think 150 miles each way is an issue either with an 11 or 14 year old, I hate car travel too. There must be more of a back story than this.

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