Wednesdaypig · 21/10/2018 07:58
As long as dh was planning on doing something himself for his mother's 80th then he should turn it down. If he wasn't then maybe sil felt she should include him in her meal? Maybe she knew you wouldn't come anyway without the children? And if she doesn't like you I can understand her not wanting to cook for an extra 5 people! Inviting dh was probably her best compromise. Hope he tells her why he won't be going.
junebirthdaygirl · 21/10/2018 08:16
But is it not sil having her dm over to her family for her 80th and just asked dh( her son) if he cared to join them. Its not a party and its not a big deal. Its only lunch in her home as l am sure they do often anyway as she lives near them.
Especially as you said dh visits in the Summer. Did you mean he visits his elderly mother once a year. And you never see her. Come on 300 miles is nothing so thats pretty bad contact with an elderly parent. I think its a big fuss over nothing.
Why don't ye as a family mark this milestone birthday yourselves by driving down there and bring the lady out for lunch on a different weekend , arriving with flowers and cards to celebrate gms birthday. Stop making this about your dcs whose only job here is to make a fuss of gm on her big birthday.
Bluetrews25 · 21/10/2018 08:50
The MIL is not a nice woman, from what I have read.
SIL equally so.
They have not invited you? Great. Any other family and you might be missing out on a lovely event, but that does not sound like the case here.
Let DH go. Let him take one for the team, so to speak.
Tell the truth to your DCs, just give facts, no opinions. They do not need to be upset that someone vile does not want them at a boring event which will involve masses of travel time. They are not going to be upset about it unless you make this into a big 'they don't like you' issue. It's more 'they are very self centred and have odd ideas' thing.
OrdinarySnowflake · 21/10/2018 08:59
Don't hide it from the dcs. If your MIL and SIL hate you so much, then who knows what poison they are dripping in their ears when they visit without you.
Tell them the truth, dad has been invited to grannys 80th, but the rest of us aren't invited so dad's going alone. Perhaps pre-warn your DH you'll do this so he can decide if he'd rather let down MIL and SIL, or his dcs.
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