AIBU?
ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 23:23
This is the first time ive posted this. Must be other crappy PIL around?
H is 'under the thumb' of MIL.
The only time he ever stood up to her was over the Christmas thing.
I don't care about not going - they are not particularly nice.
But I'm really pissed off about my kids not even being invited.
They are not stroppy kids at all, they are lovely.
They've trekked down to see them in summer hols.
It's their loss. But I'm angry at SIL.
zzzzz · 20/10/2018 23:32
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Honeyroar · 20/10/2018 23:33
You should be just as angry at your husband for allowing them to do this! He should absolutely not be going if you and his children are being snubbed. What a pathetic man. I don't think I could cope with a man like that, he'd be binned. I need someone that's on my team, got my back.
BackforGood · 20/10/2018 23:37
YANBU to think that it is weird / rude / nasty / whatever, but why is it implied in the OP that MiL is having a party and not inviting you ?
Later on you say you don't even know if she (MiL) knows about it, and it is your SiL who has phoned your dh to invite him to a small lunch. Completely different from what you have implied to start with.
So why isn't the opening post either moaning about your SiL not inviting you, or your dh not saying 'What about ARoom?'
Are the other grandchildren the SiL's DC ? So they will be in their own home ?
ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 23:44
BackforGood
That was H dripfeeding me at my end!
SIL's DC all live away from home but will return for the party yes.
Yes the fact H is not suggesting a room (though we are a bit broke) has crossed my mind too. Its all a bit sad really.
I guess i organise a weekend for me and kids then.
Momasita · 20/10/2018 23:48
Op this is awful.
Really really awful.
Definalty organise something nice. And don't make any effort on future with them at all. Amazed your dh is happy to toddle off without you. It's really sad they don't feel they can include your dh wife and children. Yes he can visit alone he clearly already does with the dc. I think this is solely so you can't go.
Awful.
BackforGood · 20/10/2018 23:53
Yes the fact H is not suggesting a room (though we are a bit broke) has crossed my mind too. Its all a bit sad really.
No, I meant why, when his sister phoed him, he didn't say "You mean just me and my wife - user name ARoomSomewhere - ?"
It sounds to me like his sister has thought she will invite her Mum, and here kids for lunch on/ around her Mum's birthday, ad then wondered if her brother would want to come too, without making it into a big party.
Now, it's still not what I'd do - I'd find a way of cramming th wider family in, or I'd arrange for us to meet somewhere at a nice restaurant or pub for a meal, but it isn't really 'excluding you and your dc from MiL's party' .
Allgirlskidsanddogs · 20/10/2018 23:56
Fuck that!
It’s time your DP rocked the boat. There doesn’t seem to be a good reason for the lack of 3 invites, all go or all stay. Too far, too expensive and too long to split your family without a good enough reason. Perhaps you could visit, all together, the weekend before or after to show family solidarity and so MIL doesn’t lose out?
ARoomSomewhere · 21/10/2018 00:11
ReadMyLipss
I am not sure. I will quiz H a bit more tomorrow.
MIL and SIL are not particularly nice, so, I'm not sad for me at ALL.
But I think it's rude not to invite 2 out of 5 of the GC's, and I hope they are not upset by their Dad going to Granny's party when they won't.
Im off to bed now but thanks to everyone who replied.
TruculentandFarty · 21/10/2018 00:24
Maybe she can't fit anyone around the table so decided not to invite your family except DH. Pretty shitty, but might be her reasoning.
Shame DH isn't willing to say "Hey MIL, I want to arrange to get together to celebrate your 80th!"
"what about SIL's party?"
"SIL is not inviting my family so we're not coming to SIL's party. When can we get together?"
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