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To be annoyed my kids are not invited to MIL 80th party

252 replies

ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 22:32

MIL is having an 80th Party.
H is invited. Kids (14 and 11) and I are not.
The other grandkids (early 20's) are.
That's crap, isnt it?

OP posts:

Holdingonbarely · 20/10/2018 23:08

Hang on! Wasn’t this a thread recently?


Ilovecookiedough · 20/10/2018 23:09

I'd love it if only my husband was invited to anything pil related, you are very very lucky.


PrincessWire · 20/10/2018 23:11

Another thread today when I'm going to ask why the fuck your DH is even contemplating accepting this invite without his wife and children?


Birdsgottafly · 20/10/2018 23:13

As said, you need an explanation of why you aren't invited.

However, if it is an Adults only type thing, or your Kids are at the stroppy teenage stage, then I can understand them being left out.


maxthemartian · 20/10/2018 23:15

He shouldn't go if the rest of you are being excluded.


ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 23:23

This is the first time ive posted this. Must be other crappy PIL around?
H is 'under the thumb' of MIL.
The only time he ever stood up to her was over the Christmas thing.
I don't care about not going - they are not particularly nice.
But I'm really pissed off about my kids not even being invited.
They are not stroppy kids at all, they are lovely.
They've trekked down to see them in summer hols.
It's their loss. But I'm angry at SIL.

OP posts:

zzzzz · 20/10/2018 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Honeyroar · 20/10/2018 23:33

You should be just as angry at your husband for allowing them to do this! He should absolutely not be going if you and his children are being snubbed. What a pathetic man. I don't think I could cope with a man like that, he'd be binned. I need someone that's on my team, got my back.


BackforGood · 20/10/2018 23:37

YANBU to think that it is weird / rude / nasty / whatever, but why is it implied in the OP that MiL is having a party and not inviting you ?

Later on you say you don't even know if she (MiL) knows about it, and it is your SiL who has phoned your dh to invite him to a small lunch. Completely different from what you have implied to start with.

So why isn't the opening post either moaning about your SiL not inviting you, or your dh not saying 'What about ARoom?'

Are the other grandchildren the SiL's DC ? So they will be in their own home ?


spotsoddsocks · 20/10/2018 23:38

If they're not particularly nice then just leave it and don't go. Plan a nice day out for you and your kids which I'm sure will be a lot more enjoyable for you and them.


ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 23:39

what to say to the kids when he disappears for the weekend?
(as that is highly unusual) I don't want to lie.
But i don't want them to know they're not invited.

OP posts:

spotsoddsocks · 20/10/2018 23:41

Actually with your husband as well. And when PIL ask why he didn't come he can tell them that you are his wife and either your all invited or none of you are. They sound very self centered.


ny20005 · 20/10/2018 23:41

Is your dh going ? Without challenging his sister ?

I'd have big concerns over my dh doing that


OlennasWimple · 20/10/2018 23:43

Why doesn't DH just say to his sister that you and the DC are coming?


ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 23:44

That was H dripfeeding me at my end!
SIL's DC all live away from home but will return for the party yes.
Yes the fact H is not suggesting a room (though we are a bit broke) has crossed my mind too. Its all a bit sad really.

I guess i organise a weekend for me and kids then.

OP posts:

Momasita · 20/10/2018 23:48

Op this is awful.
Really really awful.
Definalty organise something nice. And don't make any effort on future with them at all. Amazed your dh is happy to toddle off without you. It's really sad they don't feel they can include your dh wife and children. Yes he can visit alone he clearly already does with the dc. I think this is solely so you can't go.



KC225 · 20/10/2018 23:49

Sorry, are they your children? DH's step children?


BackforGood · 20/10/2018 23:53

Yes the fact H is not suggesting a room (though we are a bit broke) has crossed my mind too. Its all a bit sad really.

No, I meant why, when his sister phoed him, he didn't say "You mean just me and my wife - user name ARoomSomewhere - ?"

It sounds to me like his sister has thought she will invite her Mum, and here kids for lunch on/ around her Mum's birthday, ad then wondered if her brother would want to come too, without making it into a big party.
Now, it's still not what I'd do - I'd find a way of cramming th wider family in, or I'd arrange for us to meet somewhere at a nice restaurant or pub for a meal, but it isn't really 'excluding you and your dc from MiL's party' .


ARoomSomewhere · 20/10/2018 23:54

No they are our joint kids, MIL/SIL blood relatives.
(tho it would be crappy anyway even if they weren't too?)

OP posts:

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 20/10/2018 23:56

Fuck that!

It’s time your DP rocked the boat. There doesn’t seem to be a good reason for the lack of 3 invites, all go or all stay. Too far, too expensive and too long to split your family without a good enough reason. Perhaps you could visit, all together, the weekend before or after to show family solidarity and so MIL doesn’t lose out?


ReadMyLipss · 20/10/2018 23:58

So who is actually going to be there?


ReadMyLipss · 20/10/2018 23:59

Or rather who else in the family is also not invited, besides you and your children?


ARoomSomewhere · 21/10/2018 00:11


I am not sure. I will quiz H a bit more tomorrow.

MIL and SIL are not particularly nice, so, I'm not sad for me at ALL.
But I think it's rude not to invite 2 out of 5 of the GC's, and I hope they are not upset by their Dad going to Granny's party when they won't.

Im off to bed now but thanks to everyone who replied.

OP posts:

Purpleartichoke · 21/10/2018 00:12

Is it just MIL’s children and no spouses? Unusual, but I could see doing a lunch like that.

Could your H have misunderstood? Clearly she was inviting the whole family?


TruculentandFarty · 21/10/2018 00:24

Maybe she can't fit anyone around the table so decided not to invite your family except DH. Pretty shitty, but might be her reasoning.

Shame DH isn't willing to say "Hey MIL, I want to arrange to get together to celebrate your 80th!"

"what about SIL's party?"

"SIL is not inviting my family so we're not coming to SIL's party. When can we get together?"

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