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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think who gets married on a Monday

183 replies

MardyArabella · 19/10/2018 10:43

An immediate family member is getting married on a Monday next year. I know it’s an invitation not a summons I can’t not go without causing a serious rift in my family but Jfc could they have picked a worse day? Wedding is also 3 hours from where I live so will need two days off work.

OP posts:
sugarbum · 19/10/2018 10:51

dunno. I got married on a tuesday. but most of the guests were retired so not an issue.

WooYa · 19/10/2018 10:52

I got married on a Monday... it was the first date the registry office gave me and I didn't want a 'proper' wedding just to get married. I'm also a horrendous introvert and hate loads of people looking at me. I had an open invitation too so if you wanted to come, you could but I wasn't fussed if you couldn't. Could you not turn it into a mini holiday/long weekend away?

Alsonification · 19/10/2018 10:52

I got married on a Monday. Main reason? It was 40% cheaper for the venue.

Slytherdor · 19/10/2018 10:53

It’s much, much cheaper is why.

I delayed my wedding by a year to ensure we could save enough to get married on a Saturday, so I’m in total agreement with you. However, people get very sensitive about this so don’t expect nice replies!

I would just say you can’t go as you can’t get the leave at work and stick with that- nobody can complain about that.

fairiedemon · 19/10/2018 10:53
Biscuit If you want to go, book a long weekend and get on with it. You said yourself it’s not a summons. They are quite savvy to make some big savings by choosing a weekday. I got married on a Wednesday afternoon for the record.
StoorieHoose · 19/10/2018 10:55

Why would you need two days off? Just go to the ceremony the meal then leave and drive home

Alternatively don’t go

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 19/10/2018 10:56

Unusual but undeniably cheaper.

onlyk · 19/10/2018 10:56

I think if you have a wedding on what is for most people a working day then you have to accept they may not be able to attend especially if they are not local to the venue.

Goldangel · 19/10/2018 10:56

Think yourself lucky it’s not a destination wedding. My sister got married in Mauritius!

If you have to go then just accept its a weekday and enjoy the time with family and time of work.

Cautionsharpblade · 19/10/2018 10:58

It’s way cheaper - I know a couple who saved £10,000 on the venue by marrying on a bank holiday Tuesday rather than a Saturday

MaryJenson · 19/10/2018 10:58

If you don’t think they’re worth it then you shouldn’t go, and possibly shouldn’t have been invited.

TheRollingCrone · 19/10/2018 11:00

I was going to say Solomon Grundy -but that was Wednesday wasn't it?. Love a mid-week wedding!

Original poster
MardyArabella · 19/10/2018 11:01

It’s an immediate family member. Not going isn’t an option but it’s not exactly a wedding I’m thrilled about. Majority of guests will be travelling 3+ hours to go there. Not really a long weekend destination at all and I definitely will not get away with driving home after the meal.

OP posts:
ChaosMoon · 19/10/2018 11:02

A few years ago a friend of mine got married on a Friday. Another friend, let's call her Laura, was seething because of the difficulty getting time off work. Roll on a year and Laura gets married on a Friday.

The money is a huge factor, as is the difficulty of getting a weekend at some venues. It's not unreasonable, as long as the bride and groom don't mind if people can't come, and make that perfectly clear to all. If family are making a fuss, they're the ones BU.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 19/10/2018 11:02

I'm with you OP, weekday weddings are an absolute ballache. But you will get a lot of arsey replies from people who've had weekday weddings and don't want to accept that in order to get a cheaper venue they've they've basically passed the cost onto their guests.

I work in a school so can't take annual leave in term time and have had friends who've had weekday weddings and then gotten quite funny with me when I've had to decline the invitations. Lots of people with kids also need to save all their annual leave to cover childcare for sickness/school holidays so it puts people in a difficult position.

I think the main thing is, if you're going to get married on a weekday don't get the hump if people can't make it.

ilovewinterpansies · 19/10/2018 11:03

OP I agree with you. You can't not go. It'll cost you (in terms of annual leave) to go. All because the couple want to save money themselves.

So basically they save money at your expense.

I think the context is important. I wouldn't begrudge this if it was a modest wedding and the family didn't have much money, but if they want all bells and whistles and pay for it by making it inconvenient for guests, that would bother me.

DioneTheDiabolist · 19/10/2018 11:03

Magicians and musicians. Anyone with friends who are self employed and mostly work weekends.

Original poster
MardyArabella · 19/10/2018 11:04

I wouldn’t feel as irritated (annoyed or angry isn’t the right word) if it was a Friday. There’s just something about it being a Monday which is frustrating to me.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/10/2018 11:04

Um... people who can't afford to book a Saturday wedding?

This isn't about you, OP.

If its such a pain in the arse, don't go.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 19/10/2018 11:05

It's because it's cheaper but if you get married on a week day, it's like getting married abroad, they have to be prepared for people to not be able to attend.

Original poster
MardyArabella · 19/10/2018 11:05

They are having full bells and whistles wedding from what I can gather. It’s not first marriage for either of them. 100+ guests

OP posts:
LittleMe03 · 19/10/2018 11:06

I don't understand why it's that difficult? Travel down on the Sunday and either back on the Monday night or on the Tuesday. The wedding is next year not next week so why can you not arrange a day or two off work by then? Why's it such an issue?

ElectricMonkey · 19/10/2018 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

halcyondays · 19/10/2018 11:06

You'd still have to take leave if it was a Friday, if you work Monday to Friday.

Most weddings I've been to over the last few years have been on a weekday, including my own.

Armchairanarchist · 19/10/2018 11:08

We did. It was our day. We both worked in Catering as did most of our friends. It was a day that suited us and our guests. It also enabled us to book out an entire restaurant we loved because they usually closed on a Monday. Twenty three years later and I'd make the same decision again.

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