To think who gets married on a Monday

[MardyArabella]

An immediate family member is getting married on a Monday next year. I know it’s an invitation not a summons I can’t not go without causing a serious rift in my family but Jfc could they have picked a worse day? Wedding is also 3 hours from where I live so will need two days off work.

I got married 9n a friday , so much cheaper , i didnt reallt think about people having tonbook time off work as i was a nurse and had never worked monday to friday and always woeked weekends two of my cousins also married on a friday im guessing sue ro cost?

My SIL got married on a weekday. Obviously, being immediate family, I had to attend but I was less than happy about being forced to use up a precious day of annual leave. Had it been a cousin or colleague, I probably wouldn’t have.

You said it yourself OP, and as you don't really approve of the wedding what may have been an inconvenience otherwise now seems like a massive ballache. Best to either bite the bullet and make the best of it if you really feel you must attend or make your excuses now.

I got married on a Wednesday, If I wanted a Saturday I would have had to wait months for the date and pay more.
We just wanted to get married somewhere nice, we invited 50, some worked others didn't, we also weren't bothered about a big night time do either we just had back round music and a light buffet for those who were still there. Out if all those who worked only two didnt attend, one due to not being to get the time off and the other for the same reason and they'd be travelling a few hours too.

I stressed that I would like them to come but would understand if they couldn't and for them to not feel pressure or awkward if work couldn't give them the day off.

Frankly if no one but my hubby and some witnesses turned up I honestly wouldn't have been to put out as I knew it was more awkward that what would have been if it were a Saturday. I just wanted to get married. The fact they came despite of it being a work day really made the day as they did have to go out of their way to use up a days leave and they wanted to come.

I'm travelling 7 hours for a Wednesday wedding. Will stay at the wedding destination the night before and the night of the wedding, and will stay at the half way mark for a night on the way up and again on the way back.

Couples who get married can have the wedding they want, when they want it. You can go, or you can decline.

Just nod and smile and tell them at the last minute that you have norovirus or something. A bit unfair if they are paying for your meal but send them a nice card with some cash in and it'll be fine

I'm self employed so any day I take off is unpaid. Should all my friends and family only ever have events on my day off on a Sunday? Because I'll tell you everything is nearly a Saturday which is my busiest and most profitable day.

I go and I enjoy it and realise it's not about me

I agree. Very annoying. I have similar coming up next year and also have to go. Trying to tell myself that I need to accept it and enjoy it for what it is as there is nothing I can do to change the day.

Easier said then done.

YANBU, it’s very selfish. Gives them a cheaper wedding by passing the costs on to you. I would really resent using my precious little annual leave to save someone else money. And to those saying “don’t go”, obviously that’s not an option when it’s family and you would cause a rift by not going.

OP if I were you I would invent a big work event the next day that you can’t get out of (big conference/ client presentation/ anything like that?) which means you have to come back on the mon eve. Then at least you’ve only wasted one day of leave. Plus only a token gift. They clearly don’t care about their guests to have made this plan!

This year I've had a Monday wedding, and two Thursday weddings.

Between the three weddings I've had to take 5 days annual leave (drove back after the Monday wedding to work the next day as it was the same week as one of the Thursday weddings and as I'd just got back from holiday I couldn't take the whole week off).

I have limited annual leave (just statutory), and whilst these are all people I dearly love and enjoyed the weddings (and would have been very upset not to attend), it's really screwed me over holiday wise and have meant I've had to a) take some unpaid leave to cover inset days etc and b) haven't been able to do any school trips etc.

I'm sure that none of the brides/grooms would have specifically thought about that as a consequence, but it is a shame that as the invitations came through my first thought was 'shit how am I going to manage this' rather than 'yay a wedding!'.

It is what it is, however when we got married we specifically chose a Saturday to make it as easy as possible for all our loved ones to attend without causing too much stress and issues.

I guess it comes to whether having the day/venue (that you wouldn't otherwise be able to afford) is more important than perhaps having a cheaper style wedding that focuses more on the guests (much of ours was homemade/family effort which was really enjoyable).

Why are some posters saying 'just don't go' when the OP has already said that it will cause a rift in her family if she doesn't.

If it's 3 hours away and you start work at 9 then leave at 6am or drive home in the evening. Even if you left at 9pm (surely the meal would be finished by then!) the you'd be home by midnight.

It's not selfish for a couple getting married to do what they want for their wedding!

Why are some posters saying 'just don't go' when the OP has already said that it will cause a rift in her family if she doesn't.

Probably because those posters will make their own choices regardless of the ridiculous family members around them. As it should be.

People whose lives and frienships don't revolve around the nine to five monday to friday routine. There are lots of us out here, use your imagination.

I actually despair.

Go or don’t go. Take the day off and drive home that night.

Or take 2 days.

Or don’t go.

That's not very nice GreenDinosaur considering that they probably picked a weekday for budget reasons.

"To think who gets married on a Monday"

People who want to save money? Or maybe it's a date of special meaning to the couple.

To me, there are two types of weddings:

‘Our day’ types of wedding

‘Our marriage’ types of wedding

For the latter, people consider themselves and their guests because it is all about the celebration of them being joined together and sharing it with those they love. These weddings tend to be on a day that suits the majority of their guests. Depending on the age group, professions, number of guests etc.

For the former, this tends to be the dream day, and sometimes this means on a week day because that is the only way they can afford it, or abroad because that is the only way they can afford it, or because that is the only way they can get their ‘dream’ venue. But the focus is on the couple, their day and is not planned for the convenience of their guests.

I much prefer the ‘marriage’ type weddings.

My wedding certainly wasn't cheaper on a Thursday!
And guests didn't have to pay for a single then, even most of the accommodation was paid for.
Isn't that what annual leave is for??

Just book two days off work? Not rocket science. It’s their wedding, the only input you have is to accept or decline the invite.

Is it so hard for people to understand that not everyone in the world works 9-5 Monday to Friday? We got married midweek because we were both shift workers in hospitality. Monday-Wednesday would be far easier to get off work than Thursday-Sunday for us, as was the case for 90% of our guests.

Maybe the place was booked up on all the weekends?

We got married on a Wednesday during the Easter holidays expressly so three of our guests who are teachers could come. The money we saved and the availability of everything we wanted were an added bonus. It may be a week day is better for some guests, OP.

Copercobana, you are absolutely right.