to think I'm living in a parallel universe sometimes

[justfloatingpast]

There are so many scenarios I see on MN that I don't recognise from my real life:

Not wanting anyone to touch your baby
Not wanting grandparents to take the baby out for a walk on their own
Confronting people who've parked in P&T spaces and demanding to know their disability
Leaving elderly parents alone at Christmas for no good reason

I just don't see this kind of behaviour in my own everyday life so AIBU to think there's a parallel universe out there that I fortunately don't belong to?

Yes, I agree OP, although I have confronted the odd person in P&C spaces.

The CF threads in particular often have me agog.

The under catered wedding or party one seems surreal to me.

Which one is that @MissConductUS?

The CF threads in particular often have me agog

You do know that most of those - the very great majority - are simply practice runs for submissions to Take a Break magazine?

Or do you just mean generally?

You do know that most of those - the very great majority - are simply practice runs for submissions to Take a Break magazine?

That would make sense!

I would say at least 90% of the cf threads on here are full of absolute bollocks. They're entertaining through!

Yes I suspect a lot of stuff is made up.

But some of the general attitudes on here are quite depressing, and ones I haven't encountered in real life.

I think we all live in our own narrow confines and it’s sometimes surprising that a lot of people have very different lives. If we have a very easy going family, it’s hard to imagine that some elderly parents are (and have always been) horrible.

Same with grandparents and wider family taking out and handing round a newborn. Some families don’t respect each other’s boundaries (won’t bring baby back at agreed times, insist on handing a new baby to people who’ve been smoking, are ill, etc.) and it can be incredibly stressful and undermining.

I think we all live in parallel universes in real life, MN just gives us the opportunity to look in.

Threads like these pop up all the time too.

Have you ever thought that perhaps people just don't talk about this stuff in real life? Or that you just mix with a lot of like minded people?

Plus this is the Internet, half the time these threads are probably made up by bored people.

OOoo - I have to admit I have a problem with the first two..I do have a problem with people wanting to touch my baby (Are your hands clean, you haven't asked me, step away!!!)

I also have a problem with my DH pushing the pram! Even around supermarkets - He'll often go 'one handed' or leave her on one side of the aisle while he picks up something from the other side...I know he's constantly watching her but can't help my brain screaming 'don't let go of her pram'!!

I also know MIL wants to take her out for a walk - but she often gets cramp in her hands and I worry she'll get that while crossing the road...

(I recognize that it might be me who has the problem here..I do get separation anxiety -- Dd2 is due in ten weeks and I'm due to go into hospital for a few days so will be away from her for the first time since she was born - Reasonable me know she's going to be well looked after, but I just know I'm going to be constantly thinking is she ok etc etc etc....)

I am often surprised by the ones where people are apparently all rude and unpleasant and selfish today, not like earlier better times.

Every day I am out and about having quite pleasant interactions with the vast majority of people. Eye contact, smiles, assistance (both offered and given) where necessary.

Sure there is the occasional pain in the arse, but they stand out because they are the exception to the rule and I tend to just assume they have something going on.

People on MN seem to take everything so personally, half the stuff people complain about I probably wouldn't even have noticed let alone got upset about.

Hi Tadda

I totally get that some parents suffer from anxiety issues or have a particular problem with a particular person looking after their child. All totally understandable.

But what I don't get is the many posters who come on to threads saying 'why on earth should you let your mother take the baby for a walk? Just keep saying no' etc etc as if it's quite ridiculous for a grandmother to push her grandson down the road in the pram, or for a friend to pat their child's head or somesuch.

I hope all goes well and I'm sure your dd will be fine. Good luck with the new baby.

I didn't want GP to take baby out on their own. I didnt even want dh to take him out to start with. I think that's normal. Thing is, I just quietly got over myself, rather than start a Mumsnet thread on it.

I did give my mother ^extensive* training in how to always put the brake on the buggy on though

I agree OP.

Have you considered that people feel able to speak frankly on here where they are anonymous about anxieties & difficulties that they keep hidden from those they have contact with in day to day life?

I've thought Mumsnet is a parallel universe for a long time. I see none of the behaviour talked about on here.

LOL Barbarian. I remember a poster telling how she demonstrated, using a teddy bear, how to put the baby into his cot to a bewildered grandfather who had raised several children of his own. I think he just politely humoured her, and she looks back now and wonders what on earth she was thinking.

Merryoldgoat, why would you risk upsetting someone who is disabled?

I sometimes read threads on here and thank my lucky stars that my brother didn't marry a MNetter.

I hear you completely!

This is so reassuring! So often I read the title of an AIBU, thinking that of course they are, then find most of the responses are in agreement with the OP. Baffling.

We all have our cross to bear, OP. For some people that's an overbearing MIL, for others it's parents who are selfish and unloving. Some people are pushovers so suffer their fair share of CFs, others have MH issues so are less resilient.

I think it's weirder to imagine that we all have perfect lives all the time, are surrounded by lovely respecful people and always react reasonably to every challenging situation.

And as a PP mentioned earlier, many of these people who post may be your friends or family who don't dare talk about these things in real life!

I think some new mothers do get over possessive about their baby and don’t want grandparents to have what would be normal interaction with their baby. Then in a few years when they do want time away from their child they wonder why the grandparents are not falling over themselves to offer. They forget that maybe they didn’t allow a natural bond to develope and so the grandparent has taken a step back.
I have seen this happen in real life ans I can’t help wondering if they ever posted on Aibu

Certain subjects are more likely to get large responses which are some posters main driving force. MIL, Christmas, CF , parking, PFB are among these so are always going to be numerous and possibly exaggerated.