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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I'm living in a parallel universe sometimes

196 replies

justfloatingpast · 19/10/2018 09:09

There are so many scenarios I see on MN that I don't recognise from my real life:

Not wanting anyone to touch your baby
Not wanting grandparents to take the baby out for a walk on their own
Confronting people who've parked in P&T spaces and demanding to know their disability
Leaving elderly parents alone at Christmas for no good reason

I just don't see this kind of behaviour in my own everyday life so AIBU to think there's a parallel universe out there that I fortunately don't belong to?

OP posts:
blueskiesandforests · 19/10/2018 14:44

Ethel GrinWine I also frequently dream of solitude, though it may be due to being in a life phase and job where I am never really on my own or liable to be interupted at any given moment. Driving to and from work are my only guaranteed stretches of genuine solutude.

Original poster
justfloatingpast · 19/10/2018 14:54

Rednax any chance you'd look an my and others' clarifications on this. I am not talking about toxic families, I am talking about the many posters who just catergorically state on threads that no parents should be brought into the equation at Christmas, no granny should expect to take her new grandchild for a walk etc etc etc

Honestly, no wonder so many opening posts read like War and Peace with everything being stated specifically, and everything i spelled out carefully.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 19/10/2018 14:57

I am always amazed at the amount of raging, fuming (some might say fumming) and being absolutely fucking furious that is apparently going on all the time. Most of it over non-issues.

Surely it is sufficient to drive most normal people insane.

Actually, much of it is probably bollocks.

Topseyt · 19/10/2018 15:06

Oh, and I was always delighted when my parents or my in-laws would visit and take the DDs off my hands (however briefly) when they were babies, even as newborns.

They weren't piss-takers though. We didn't live near to any of them but I was happy for them to visit and they helped out around the place whenever they did.

If they had all delayed coming to see us and the new baby by weeks I would have been quite upset. Like I said though, none of them pushed the boundaries. None of this wanting to completely take over and have alone time with the baby for hours or days on end.

Maybe I was lucky.

Ilovetolurk · 19/10/2018 15:07

Many of us do not have your good fortune. Have you ever watched Jeremy Kyle? Do you think they are all actors?

I think it’s safe to say most of Jezza’s guests aren’t occupying their spare time on MN

Not when there’s perfectly good weed to be smoked and text wars to start

I could be wrong though. Perhaps an AIBU thread to ask “tell me about the time you were on TV”

In which 5% are Jezza guests, 90% were once in the audience of Trisha and the rest loaned out their stately home for filming Midsomer Murders

PawneeParksDept · 19/10/2018 15:33

And I've just spotted another thing that drives me mad

OP is discussing being mildly annoyed at her DH over something. He basically hasn't listened or paid attention.

One of the first responses :

Well it's alright for you to be moaning about him, but try being a widow like me!

It's so not in the context and unnecessary

thenewaveragebear1983 · 19/10/2018 16:31

And the way people respond to others on here, some are So blunt and rude. And bizarrely everyone seems to agree with them- this wouldn’t happen in real life, surely. I suppose that’s because on here, no one is your friend. In real life, the people you expressed your concern/issue to would at least have some degree of tact and not want to upset you. On here no one cares!

I regularly start to respond to posts and then reread, change bits, remove anything that might offend or potentially offend anyone, then eventually just scrap the post because it’s not worth getting involved. Only on certain boards though!

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 19/10/2018 17:10

The word narcissist is thrown around with alarming regularity when 99% of the population have a few selfish taits

RangeRider · 19/10/2018 17:14

Well it's alright for you to be moaning about him, but try being a widow like me!
Not to mention the ones when the OP has an absolute bitch of a mother by anyone's standards but someone has to post a nauseating comment about how they wish they still had their poor dearly departed mother and they miss her everyday blah blah....!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/10/2018 17:17

Everyone on here has had a terrible labour and birth, bleeds profusely, leaks milk from engorged breasts, can’t do anything but sit with crying baby all day. Well maybe not everyone but a lot.

In RL people just crack on with it.

Bluelady · 19/10/2018 17:20

It seems that everyone has "anxiety", every other child has special needs and everyone over 60 is "elderly" and is suspected of having dementia if they're the slightest bit grumpy. Drives me mad. Or perhaps demented.

RangeRider · 19/10/2018 17:23

It seems that everyone has "anxiety", every other child has special needs
Agreed. It is a little wearing when you genuinely have anxiety & SN and don't get taken seriously because everyone has it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/10/2018 17:24

Yes that bugs me too Bluelady. Some posters like to pull the anxiety card out of the bag as a way of shutting people up if they’re not winning an argument I’ve noticed.

whatsthestory123 · 19/10/2018 17:55

i think there is a huge amount of self diagnosis going on and people activley looking for signs

there was one recently convinced her child had SN,when many said its normal toddler behaviour it was dismissed by op

abacucat · 19/10/2018 17:57

BlueLady I notice the opposite. Everyone has parents in their 90s who are fit and active.

Bluelady · 19/10/2018 18:02

Really?

abacucat · 19/10/2018 18:05

Yes. I see - he is only in his late 70s, not exactly old, my parents.....
I always point out that for men average life expectancy is 79.

Shitlandpony · 19/10/2018 18:08

Quite often the light hearted observational threads get de railed by posters who seem massively angry. That always seems a shame.
I agree with abacucat that there seems to be lots of food issues too and competitive under eating.

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 19/10/2018 18:15

Everything is competitive
No one has an average child. They are all exceedingly bright, top sets, regular starters in the schools rugby team, grade whatever at piano, teaching themselves the violin etc
They all are exceedingly happy with 30 minutes of educational screen time and then on to more enriching tasks like writing mini novels or extra maths homework.

Shitlandpony · 19/10/2018 18:25

Another one on here, when people say that they asked their wedding guests to pay for their food and drink or whatever cheeky situation it is and they were all happy with it, no one complained.

Well exactly, they are all ranting on Aibu because in real life everyone just moaned quietly and says its all lovely to the CF.

wonderandwander · 19/10/2018 18:26

Totally agree

More to add

Bitchy school gate - nope never experienced

Horrible hen experiences - nope never experienced

CF at weddings and on invites - nope never experienced

Shitlandpony · 19/10/2018 18:31

Ah you see I always hate it when posters go on to school gate threads and claim that the mafia doesn’t exist. I have got a few dc and been in a mixture of schools (state and private) due to work relocations.
At two schools there very definitely was a horrible gang that excluded people, not me but they did it to some parents.

Bluelady · 19/10/2018 20:21

And, yes, Duck, the competitive shitshow birth stories. I always hope some poor woman innocently expecting her first baby isn't reading them and freaking out at the prospect of what is (probably isn't) about to befall her.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 19/10/2018 22:51

there's a big difference with someone from a toxic family having issues re Christmas or new babies and the many posters who come onto threads and make sweeping statements implying that no one should feel obliged to make sure their parents are not alone at Christmas and no one should let their MIL take the baby for a walk.

But I've explained this already.

Well, it’s not up to you to explain anything. My comment was directed at the OP who didn’t mention anything about toxic families. Unless you are the OP and you’re furiously backpedaling?

And for the record, the Christmas post said nothing about the parents being “elderly”. Their children are just having their first baby so the parents could be 40 for all she knows. OP has just added that detail to be dramatic.

klondike555 · 20/10/2018 04:01

I always get pissed off with the no visitors for a year after your baby is born. I've never met anyone who isn't delighted to introduce PFB to the world
Ditto. For various reasons I mix with a large cross section of society and I've only ever come across this once - and it was my own sister! But it massively backfired on her. She had a very different attitude with DC2.

It seems that everyone has "anxiety", every other child has special needs and everyone over 60 is "elderly" and is suspected of having dementia if they're the slightest bit grumpy. Drives me mad. Or perhaps demented
Totally agree.