to think I'm living in a parallel universe sometimes

[justfloatingpast]

There are so many scenarios I see on MN that I don't recognise from my real life:

Not wanting anyone to touch your baby
Not wanting grandparents to take the baby out for a walk on their own
Confronting people who've parked in P&T spaces and demanding to know their disability
Leaving elderly parents alone at Christmas for no good reason

I just don't see this kind of behaviour in my own everyday life so AIBU to think there's a parallel universe out there that I fortunately don't belong to?

LucyMorningStar, what's wrong with that is that the mum doesn't want to let the MIL take the baby for 8 hours and is being looked at as if she is weirdly over attached to her baby for feeling anxious at the thought of being parted for that length of time for no reason except the silly, selfish whim of the older woman.

It is completely normal and natural to feel anxiety when your baby is out of your sight being cared for by someone else, and also to feel really angry when someone keeps on pressing you on any matter when you have been pretty clear that the answer is no, but when the matter is playing some immature game with your own live baby and the other person won't respect your feelings then that anger is justifiably magnified.

My personal wtf moment is when there's a thread about someone whinging that their husband is upset that they don't give them affection any more/haven't had sex in 10 years/whatever. And every poster just harps on and on and on about how you don't have to have sex with your husband and how dare he be so childish to expect affection when you have children to look after etc etc. I'm sure there are times when the husband is a dick and demands sex/attention and that's not ok at all, but I also imagine there's plenty of cases where the husband is just frustrated and the wife won't even engage discussion about their relationship which imo is quite controlling too.

I really don't understand women who are so completely self absorbed in their kids that they seem to just completely fucking forget their sperm donors husbands even exist and then wonder why their marriages fail

@Solasshole agreed! Some women become martyrs not mothers when they have children!

The latest one is that a father had the arse because his wife went out for dinner and the child was vomiting, he couldn't get hold of wife for 2 hours. What he wanted wife to do I don't know, roles reversed I don't suppose she'd call him home.

However you then get the martyr mother saying

As a parent you have to be there on call for your child 24/7 even if it's just a reassuring phone call when they are sick or scared. That is just a fact. Your kids don't stop needing you or loving you because your out for dinner!

I presume she means mother not parent as the child was with his father!

@sonandhelpneeded

It's just madness! I'm totally not saying every dad is a victim and the poor mens are so hard done by, there's plenty of useless fathers/husbands out there too and exasperated wives but there's also plenty of mum's who are unheathily obsessed with their children too! I know a woman who basically only married her exH for his sperm because she wanted kids and had no intention of ever making the marriage work, once she had her kids it was basically 'if you don't like it you can fuck right off because I have no intention of engaging in any kind of marriage counselling/discussion about our relationship/so on' it just makes me go . It's all kinds of fucked up!!

@Solasshole your friend is not the only one I'm sure! Honestly some men are shit fathers and partners, some women are shut mothers and partners. But agreed becoming a mother does not mean you can check out of a relationship with the father.....that's not being a good mother.

Clearly some people will separate that's life but to just decide my becoming a mother means I can ruin this relationship and ignore you is wrong!

@sonandhelpneeded

Yup, it's essentially what my mum did ad now she wonders why neither of her kids awfully like her very much lol

I don’t get the morons on here who proudly claim that they would never be friends with anyone who voted Tory or read the Daily Mail as if such a narrow minded attitude is something to aspire to.

Everyone it seems also suffers from ‘anxiety’.

@PanGalaticGargleBlaster if not anxiety don't forget the hidden anxiety!

And the taking in parcels bloody debacle, everyone has a hidden illness that means taking in parcels is debilitating and the neighbours always fail to collect them for weeks!

We take in for neighbours they take in for us! Everyone is keen to collect as they've ordered the items and want them!

I'm not sure who these people are that order items they don't want so leave them at neighbours.

Yes I’ve never understood the normalised abandonment of elderly parents either. No respect shown at all most of the time all this shit about “it’s my life now my parents shouldn’t expect me to do anything for them” and all the nonsense about school gatw drama, grown women not being able to say NO to other people when they’re uncomfortable with them touching/talking to their children

See I've never met one of these crazy grandparents who act like the mum has got a nice new doll they want their turn with.

Oh I know loads of weird people! The posts on mn are no weirder than rl conversations Ive had.

Re elderly parents abandonment thing, agree. Urgh those people who go on about their ‘little family’ (fuck off mum) or ‘they had their chance’ are right idiots (but again I’ve heard it in rl not just here)

I think it's funny that some people don't realise their bubble is only normal for them and that lots of people live very different lives. I regularly see people say 'oh well it's all made up' about threads I have participated in and I know I didn't make up my income/how many coats I own/the crappiest present I got. I think most threads aren't made up and people are just a lot more diverse than we all realise.

I really don't understand women who are so completely self absorbed in their kids that they seem to just completely fucking forget their sperm donors husbands even exist and then wonder why their marriages fail
This ^ 100%

There is definitely a parallel universe OP and is called Mumsnet AIBU 

Last weekend was particularly diabolical, I read several threads and posts thinking wtf? 

I think it's funny that some people don't realise their bubble is only normal for them and that lots of people live very different lives.
I think most threads aren't made up and people are just a lot more diverse than we all realise.

Totally agree.

E.g. Family members just popping in unnanounced to see each other isn't 'normal' to me because we all live 4+ hours away from each other (and that is a recent change to closeness for us, as most of us used to live in different continents!).

Or several people in this thread find the mother who didn't want to spend whole days away from her 8 weeks old odd, but for me it's the MIL that I find harder to understand! I don't know any grandparent in real life who would want to visit exclusively with their grandchild and not also spend time with their child/child in law. It seems unbelievably odd, but I accept that some people are like that even if I've never met one!

See I've never met one of these crazy grandparents who act like the mum has got a nice new doll they want their turn with

No me neither. I'm sure there a some women that are total nightmares out there in the world but nearly every post about MILs on here is regarding how nasty, how overbearing, how toxic and how she wants the baby all to herself and what should the poster do about it.

As if that poster doesn't know. I often think half if not more of those threads are exaggerated for attention.

Like the person who said she didn't understand why X celebrity didn't come out, no one minds about homosexuality these days. I did reply to say that there are unfortunately plenty of people in the world who would mind and would stop buying this persons records if they came out as gay. Didn't seem to have occurred to her.

Or the threads when a couple are in disagreement as to whether to have another baby or not and someone suggests the OP should investigate sperm donors if their DP does not help facilitate a pregnancy.

I don't get posters who ask aibu to not go to my mother's partner's daughter's,
cousin's step sons 3rd birthday party, even though I am 8.5 months pregnant with twins. The party will take me 5 hours to get there and will mean me catching 3 buses and a plane. Dh can't come as he will be looking after our other 12 children, one of which is sitting an important exam that day.
Normal response, hell no just text and say you can't come.
Mners: can't you go down the day before and make a weekend of it?
Why don't you get your dh to drive, just palm off your other dc to some random parent you have nodded at previously at the school gate.

I'm always amazed on here how many people want to report those around them...eg:

"I saw a woman tell off her child in the supermarket...shall I report her to the police and SS?"

Or

"Someone I know sells stuff online ..shall I report them for tax evasion?"

So many busy bodies on here

It seems that everyone has "anxiety", every other child has special needs and everyone over 60 is "elderly" and is suspected of having dementia if they're the slightest bit grumpy. Drives me mad. Or perhaps demented.

Yes, this

The other one that really gets me: person described as having really obnoxious, abusive behaviour - 'Do you think he's on the autistic spectrum?'

Makes me feel bad for my husband who would be horrified at such behaviour...

@solasshole

Very much agree with that. There are of course many stories of women who are suffering horrendous treatment from their partners but those threads where women let their relationships slip and complain that their husbands are 'sex pests' do annoy me. I suppose it hits a nerve because I had issues in my own relationship (related to my MH issues) but had the good sense to realise that it was something I had contributed to.

Also I think that many posters don't seem to know the difference between being anxious and having anxiety disorder. Being a sufferer of a diagnosed anxiety disorder it does annoy me that it is mixed up with people just being worried about things.

Are you all on the same MN that I'm on?

Would love to see actual examples of the stuff posted here...

You don't have to look very far.