to think I'm living in a parallel universe sometimes

[justfloatingpast]

There are so many scenarios I see on MN that I don't recognise from my real life:

Not wanting anyone to touch your baby
Not wanting grandparents to take the baby out for a walk on their own
Confronting people who've parked in P&T spaces and demanding to know their disability
Leaving elderly parents alone at Christmas for no good reason

I just don't see this kind of behaviour in my own everyday life so AIBU to think there's a parallel universe out there that I fortunately don't belong to?

Of course a lot of the threads are made up rubbish but as pp said they're entertaining and actually can often end up being quite interesting.

I think a lot of people do have concerns and worries though that can seem odd to other people.

I imagine a lot of scenarios probably have a germ of truth in them but get exaggerated by poster for effect.

However, there are some very strange and unpleasant people around. I was threatened with violence in a 'come and say that to my face if you're hard enough' type way from a complete stranger - a woman going by the name - after I posted a perfectly innocuous comment on a local facebook page.

And look at all the trolls that threaten the lives and well being of well know people on the internet.

They might not be overt about it in real life but get them behind a keyboard and it's a different matter.

practise runs for take a break, ha! that is funny. And true. So many of the ridiculous scenarios are just people with low self-esteem and big ego.

It's the blanket statements that get me; "an 8 week old simply cannot be separated from it's mother for anything more than 10 seconds". No medical/psychosocial evidence to back it up of course. Meanwhile IRL some of us have circumstances that mean it would be a great help to have a keen MIL to leave the 8 week old with.

@birdsgottafly

I’ve done it twice.

Once was when a young man in a sports car cut me up to take the P&C space. I didn’t say anything then but I saw him in the store and he clearly had no walking disability. I said to him very calmly and not at all antagonistically, ‘did you realise you’d parked in a parent and child space? I actually had been waiting for it’. He said he didn’t realise and apologised. I thanked him and carried on.

The other time was a tax driver who once again cut me to get in. If he’d been disabled he could’ve used one of the many empty disabled spaces closer to the store. He wasn’t. He literally ran into the store. I saw him heading back as I was on my way on my way in and asked him to park more considerately as I’d been queuing and he jumped the queue.

I didn’t embarrass anyone. The two men clearly had no disability which meant they needed a P&C space and in the second case, disabled spaces were plentiful.

I always get pissed off with the no visitors for a year after your baby is born. I've never met anyone who isn't delighted to introduce PFB to the world.

I really don't understand why people get so aerated about bloody parent and child spaces, to the extent of aggressively challenging strangers about them. They're a pure courtesy, if there's one free that's nice but if there's not you can still manage your shopping. There usually isn't one free when I go shopping (and we drive to many places where they DON'T HAVE THEM AT ALL) but somehow I manage to get my two small kids out and crack on. Why wind yourself up so spectacularly about something so marginal?

I'm with you. I saw a post the other day where the poster had seen her neighbour putting rubbish in her bin (presumably half empty) after it was put put for the bin men. So she took it out and dumped it on the woman's drive. Why? What possible harm was it doing? I think some people are just batshit.

YANBU It is definitely a parallel universe. Some threads I read and think they must be a bit of a joke but then the amount of people who then agree and get all "het up", and I just think, I mix with a varied selection of people in the real world and have never came across anyone who feels said issue is a massive issue which will fundamentally ruin the next generation, it's crazy.

And how many threads are pages and pages long simply arguing over a point that's not even related to the OP lol

I also think, while this is a great space for people to vent or be honest where they maybe couldn't be in RL. However I find people behaviour can be so rude and on some threads I have seen a few people get together in berating a single individual, which I feel highlights they probably don't have many friend in RL, as they would have been told this unacceptable behaviour or were badly brought up , as they don't know how to converse in a proper manner, but it's just not how people should behave. They then go on to comment on threads about what could be damaging for our children's mentality and perspective as they develop and can not even see how silly that is, when they have just been abusing another user.

But I suppose we wouldn't keep coming back if these people didn't entertain us and I love seeing how diverse MN actually is, I just try and avoid the nasty threads and I love some of the AIBU when people just loose their heads about things that ordinarily don't seem that big of an issue. MN has also been genuinely helpful for me in the parenting bit for little tips .it is definitely a parallel universe ( thankfully one I'm not part of in real life and I can just Pop in and out )

I hated visitors after my baby was born. I get that they're excited but I wanted to just shout "I've a load of stitches, I can't sit down, I'm bleeding, my feet are swelled and I need sleep. Just fuck off for a few bloody days". DH's family were all over the bloody house, wanting to take photos etc. I'm expecting again and I'm determined to do it differently this time.

@Merryoldgoat it's this one. The buffet stories are the worst.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3394510-Ever-been-to-an-under-catered-party

Iamnotawitch my experience matches yours. On here people are either discusted and wanting to confront people or complete wet blankets that avoid normal interaction at any cost

That was a deliberate typo before anyone points it out.

Absolutely agree with you OP.

What about this ridiculous thread by an individual who wants to report public displays of affection to local council? Now that person is either having a massive joke or is plain fucking crazy

What I find pathetic is how people make a mountain out of absolutely nothing and get on AIBU or whatever and write a frigging essay on the (non-existing) matter. Like the poster whose friends came over and bickered about their take-away tea. FFS how is that even remotely significant to start a thread about??? Just attention seeking.

Ahh it's goo to let it all out

Not wanting grandparents to take the baby out for a walk on their own

I take it both OP and some of the other posters are referring to a thread that is up and running. If so, the OP has said time and time again she doesn't have a problem with this. Her MIL wants the baby all day on her own, for 8 hours without the mum. Don't let the facts get in the way of your sanctimonious thread though eh.

Some of you have perfect lives with lovely mums and happy extended families. Some of us have had happy families ripped apart by the sudden death of a parent, then step parents come into the picture and some of us have very controlling PIL. As a result things like Christmas is a big strain and an unhappy time.

Congratulations on your perfect family though.

I don't understand the sheer amount of people who won't answer their door at any time, unless they have been prewarned by text or phone call. The same people don't like family members calling round on spec, without a prior invitation. It's bizarre behaviour to me.

People just differ and what is the norm in some families is weird in another.
I always answer my door but shut it quickly when it's a salesman like yesterday. People in the famly would not call round on spec because we have busy lives but that's jsut different families. we have booked next summer's holiday already. other families are laid back, last minute. Some could not conceive of a family when you all have to be up and ready before 7.15am to get children out of the door by then, babies etc. Others think it's wrong if you move hundreds of miles away from parents. Some will be naked at home - I often am - others will cover every last bit of their bodies whereas some of us are suggesting our children come to the nudist beach with us. Families just differ .

@BrisaOtonal

Her MIL wants the baby all day on her own, for 8 hours without the mum

what's wrong with that then? Is MIL dangerous to the baby?

Brisa

If you've read that thread you will see that I asserted on it that the OP did not express a problem with her MIL taking the baby for a walk. I have also said on this thread that I can understand a new mother suffering from anxiety but it is the other posters piling in and encouraging her to not let a grandparent have the baby for an hour that I didn't understand.

I actually find your post both rude and aggressive.

Yes I find a number of people on MN live in a parallel universe. No visiting baby for two weeks. Income of £200K and can they afford this that or the other. Pathetic.

You tend to socialise with people who are similar to yourself. so it makes sense it’s only somewhere like MN with a broad cross section of the population where you’ll come across views you’re unfamiliar with in your own life.

Similarly, if you have a nice, stable family with a secure upbringing you might never have even imagined anyone might have reason to be cautious about allowing their children to see their grandparents alone. You might not know anyone with maternal anxiety, whose parents were neglectful growing up, who lives in a dangerous area, who has dealt with enough shit from their parents they’ll tolerate some form of a relationship but wouldn’t dream of risking leaving their child alone with them unsupervised.

If you had great parents you probably won’t understand why someone might choose to spend xmas apart from theirs, until you hear about it on here. Then it’s jarring as it doesn’t mesh with your own view of the world.

Does that make sense?

I don't understand the sheer amount of people who won't answer their door at any time, unless they have been prewarned by text or phone call. The same people don't like family members calling round on spec, without a prior invitation. It's bizarre behaviour to me.

Whereas in my life and social circle it would be so bizarre and unexpected to just appear at a friend or relative’s house without a call or text to confirm, it simply wouldn’t happen. So unless I’m expecting a delivery there’s very little reason to answer the door when it’s more likely to be something I don’t want like jehovah’s witnesses, or salesmen. And I find it extremely rude to be so intrusive as to approach someone’s home uninvited for personal gain.

I’m more likely to check who it is now I live top floor apartment as they can’t get in without being buzzed, but when I lived in a house I wouldn’t have answered.

Lucy the baby is 8 weeks old and the OP doesn't want her MIL (or her DM either, so not MIL bashing thread) to have the baby for 8 hours on her own. OP had recently spent 2 days with MIL but that wasn't good enough for MIL, she wants a day a week on her own with the baby

I think MN is a parallel universe in the fact that so many MNs seem to have such high incomes (or their DHs do) but as a pp said, we tend to mix with similar ppl to ourselves IRL so I guess that's why. And the cleaning and laundry threads I find particularly odd sometimes but I think I may be quite scruffy/lazy in that department by MN standards

I can't imagine leaving my kids with anyone for the day at 8 weeks old. A newborn is not a trophy to be paraded around. They also have very weak immune systems at that age, even if you are breastfeeding.

@ineedaholidaynow

forgive me for being obtuse but I still don't get what's wrong with wanting to spend a day with your grandchild or how can it be seen as reasonable to not allow that. Unless the baby is EBF or an adult is a danger to the baby this 'preciousness' is a little OTT.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. Different strokes and all that.