The great magnum row

[ilikemagnums]

DH and I went with his children to his parents earlier today. His parents gave all the kids a cornetto type ice-cream.

Then after dinner DH brings out a bowl of ice lollies and ice creams for them to chose from; included were my magnums. As is obvious, all the kids picked the magnums.

I was peed off with DH. Firstly because they were my magnums. Petty, I realise, but it's nice to have something to myself that isn't ransacked by kids. There were plenty of other things to choose from.

Secondly, I didn't think he should be giving them a second ice cream.

When I told DH all of the above he got shitty with me. Asked me when the last time I ate one of the magnums was, etc. And then said 'if I want to give them an ice cream then I will.'

Well that's fine. But he's always actively trying to get me involved in hands on parenting with them. Yet, when it's something he doesn't agree with, the default seems to be, essentially, it's none of my business.

AIBU

I would rip someone's head off if they ate my Magnums!

Magnums are too nice for kids. I’d be annoyed.

But I sense this runs deeper than the magnums

YABU unless they were White Magnums in which case YANBU

I don't know, if they had been in the freezer for yonks I probably wouldn't be that bothered. I'd just ask him to pick some more up next time he was at the shop. If it was the last Magnum and I'd been anticipating it all day then I probably would have cried (but I'm pregnant and cried this morning because there was no butter for my toast, so I'm not hugely rational about food lately).

But it's probably not about the Magnums really, is it? It's more likely about a pattern of behaviour and Magnumgate is just the latest example. In which case, YANBU to be annoyed if you are feeling slighted or like he doesn't listen to you or consider your opinion.

If you resist hands-on parenting with them (and it sounds like you do, from the tone of the phrase "he's always trying to get me involved"), then I imagine you will get a none of your business response when you start doling out advice on an appropriate diet. Get involved first, then you can start to tell him what he can and can't give them to eat.

As to whether you were entitled to object to your DH offering Magnums that you'd bought for yourself, yes it would irk me, but I would know that I was being petty and I would keep it zipped.

Look at it optimistically: you now have an excuse to exclusively stock the freezer with Magnums to the exclusion of other ice creams/lollies that you don't care for.

@SneakyGremlins they were my bloody white magnums!!!!

Oh they WERE white? LTB then.

For the record - I do wish we had an edit button on MN - I don't think there's anything wrong, necessarily, with not getting involved with a partner's kids. Whatever works in your particular marriage. I realised it sounds like I'm criticising you. I'm not.

I don't think they should be having more than one ice cream a day.
Ask him to replace the ones he gave away.
I find Magnuns really sickly, just saying.

What, you can't have anything for yourself? That sounds martyrish.

Full size or mini?

Oh so these are your husband's children?

The second ice cream wasn't necessary to comment on, being as they are his kids. The magnum though is a separate issue! Of course he shouldn't have given away your ice creams.

@DolorestheNewt I don't like telling them off. I've always felt that it isn't my place to do so. I may have a bit of a moan to DH occasionally about things and ask him to speak to the kids about it and he always says, 'if it bothers you, speak to them yourself.' Etc.

@zzzzz if I buy it for me to eat, it's mine. I spent money on it so I wouldn't appreciate it being handed off to other people.

Relaxxxxx they weren't almond ones! 😁

YANBU. It’s nice to have them there when you fancy one, it doesn’t matter how often you eat them.

Also, I’m quite easygoing compared to lots of posters regarding treats but a Cornetto and a Magnum are both pretty calorific and high in sugar. One of those with an ice lolly or something like a Mini Milk or Twister in one day I wouldn’t have minded.

If it’s in the house it’s everyone’s.

I was considering commenting something similar since that's how I was raised. I think it's reasonable to want to keep enough of a particular item in stock to meet your needs until the next time you go shopping but it seems a tad unreasonable to have an entire food as off limits to the children. I can see that being different in shared accommodation but between parent and child does strike me as a bit odd.

@nervousFTM I had a couple of almond ones too but thankfully, that didn't pick those ones!

I like the white ones just as much though!

I don’t mean posters on this thread by the way, I often find myself a bit [shocked] and when people post their kids only have sweets once in a blue moon.

Bugger. I thought this was about Tom Selleck and his overly hirsute chest.

@DarkDarkNight I'm actually pretty relaxed with treats. More so than many id say. But they've already had a full weekend of treats so I thought the 2nd ice cream of the day was just a step too far. An ice lolly might have been okay but not my magnums!!