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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The great magnum row

189 replies

ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 16:59

DH and I went with his children to his parents earlier today. His parents gave all the kids a cornetto type ice-cream.

Then after dinner DH brings out a bowl of ice lollies and ice creams for them to chose from; included were my magnums. As is obvious, all the kids picked the magnums.

I was peed off with DH. Firstly because they were my magnums. Petty, I realise, but it's nice to have something to myself that isn't ransacked by kids. There were plenty of other things to choose from.

Secondly, I didn't think he should be giving them a second ice cream.

When I told DH all of the above he got shitty with me. Asked me when the last time I ate one of the magnums was, etc. And then said 'if I want to give them an ice cream then I will.'

Well that's fine. But he's always actively trying to get me involved in hands on parenting with them. Yet, when it's something he doesn't agree with, the default seems to be, essentially, it's none of my business.

AIBU

OP posts:
CurlyWurlyTwirly · 14/10/2018 17:41

They’re kids; they are just ice creams.
What’s the real problem?

Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 17:42

@AdaColeman Thanks for the tip! Grin

I usually buy the genuine bottles of butterbeer but they're £10 for four small bottles so I improvised this time!

Bought a two litre bottle of bog standard cream soda, mixed a small amount of yellow and red food colouring in. Made it the perfect butterbeer colour. Then a scoop of vanilla ice cream in the bottom of the glass makes for a lovely frothy butterbeer top. Grin

Much cheaper than buying the actual butterbeer and the kids couldn't tell the difference.

I could though... Wink

OP posts:
JingsMahBucket · 14/10/2018 17:42

@Gronky there may be a special cereal or snack the kids like that the OP and her DH keep for them whenever they visit their father. OP is probably referring to that type of food.

nervousFTM · 14/10/2018 17:42

Next time get the double coconut ones as a decoy. Still magnums, but so not worth it. Hubby got me some shortly after I'd given birth to our daughter thinking he was being nice as I "love all things coconut". I was so disappointed (for one, they aren't mini but they def aren't full size) I made him go get me an almond one (9pm at night).

Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 17:43

@JingsMahBucket @Gronky I was indeed.

We do obviously eat the same meals but there are plenty of occasions where the children each have their own special treat and I don't expect them to share those with me and neither do they share.

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 14/10/2018 17:44

Call 101 and get it logged OP. You can’t be losing Magnums left right and centre. Grin

In my day we were happy with a Vienetta.

Your DH should defo replace.

Gottagetmoving · 14/10/2018 17:45

I can't imagine having food in the house and not happily sharing it. That would be very selfish

You don't have to share everything! There's nothing wrong with kids knowing that they can't have everything either.
They will understand it alright when it's their stuff that gets taken.

Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 17:46

@Namechangeforthiscancershit thanks for the advice but I've already logged it with 101 earlier today!

Vienetta? You poor thing.

Grin
OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 14/10/2018 17:48

Vienetta? You poor thing.

I know. I’m in therapy but it’s slow progress. Actually now I really think about it I had a Disney dad who gave me Magnums! But he did at least buy them himself. We always stopped off at a petrol station to get them at the start of a contact weekend and it was bloody brilliant. Sometimes you could con a pepperami out of him too.

AdaColeman · 14/10/2018 17:49

Ooohh thanks ilikemagnums I'll be trying that!

NotOnTheBench · 14/10/2018 17:49

Good grief. Write your name on the box if you want them to yourself. They'll probably ignore that too but at least you'd be justified in giving them a row.

Having said that...

MachineBee · 14/10/2018 17:51

YANBU but I’d let this go and hide my treats the next time.

My DSCs always used to choose the most expensive whatever when we went out with them and mostly de use they like it. I learned to forget my purse and their DF pay. He soon set more reasonable option limits. GrinGrin

MachineBee · 14/10/2018 17:51

*mostly they didn’t like it. Damn autocorrect!

Gronky · 14/10/2018 17:51

I suppose it comes down to differences in upbringing. As a child, I was only really claim the rights to a particular treat (it was Wagon Wheels for me, my parents had grown up in the age of ice boxes, making ice cream a luxury reserved for Christmas and Easter) if I'd requested it before the prior shopping trip. Even then, I could only generally claim one or two. By the same token, when the Pfeffernusse was in season, I was still able to enjoy it despite it being a particular favourite for my mother.

Swings and roundabouts.

Rudgie47 · 14/10/2018 17:54

Whats the problem here? They cost £1.50 for 3 or 4 of the big ones.
Just buy yourself another pack tomorrow OP.
I can see a problem if the children are fat or have tooth problems but otherwise whats the issue?

InfiniteVariety · 14/10/2018 18:02

nervousFTM I love coconut magnums! The only ones I love more are the raspberry ones....

(misses point of thread)

PawneeParksDept · 14/10/2018 18:10

Generally my family works on the in the house is everyone's

BUT

If you specifically put something aside for yourself that it is then rude and uncaring for someone to take it

That said, My DM once had to hide Magnums from a "family child" due to them being quite greedy, and wanting to have things specifically to prevent other people enjoying them rather than wanting them in a normal way.

Eliza9917 · 14/10/2018 18:11

Yanbu. Children don't need to have EVERYTHING.

Crunchymum · 14/10/2018 18:13

Why were you magnums at your in-laws? Or did I read your first post wrong?

Crunchymum · 14/10/2018 18:14

Sorry, I assume the second ice creams were after you got home!!

ShotsFired · 14/10/2018 18:14

Of course it is ok to have things that are not for general use by everyone.

This is back to that showing "I'm such a cool mum" thing again.

What about your expensive bath foam - kids can chuck it all in their bath because it's just the same as the Matey next to it, right?

That bottle of Chanel Parfum? Of course DD can stuff it in her school bag, because it's the same as Impulse body spray!

Your brand new Moleskine notebook - let the toddler tear it up and scrawl all over every page because it's no different to any other paper is it?

Nah I'm not buying it. OP's husband knew what he was doing and was just being a disney dad, as evidenced by his reaction.

Gronky · 14/10/2018 18:18

ShotsFired It's an ice cream, it costs 38p.

tillytrotter1 · 14/10/2018 18:22

If they weren't for sharing then why take them? Keep them in your own freezer with your own lock on for your peace of mind. My grandchildren get the cheap mini-magmun type things from Aldi but I keep the dark ones in a separate drawer.

greendale17 · 14/10/2018 18:25

They’re kids; they are just ice creams.
What’s the real problem?

^This. YABU and this is more than just the kids having your Magnum ice cream.

Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 18:27

@Gronky it was four magnums. That's a box from Tesco at £3.20.

Magnums are an expensive treat for me.

OP posts:
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