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AIBU?

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Original poster

The great magnum row

189 replies

ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 16:59

DH and I went with his children to his parents earlier today. His parents gave all the kids a cornetto type ice-cream.

Then after dinner DH brings out a bowl of ice lollies and ice creams for them to chose from; included were my magnums. As is obvious, all the kids picked the magnums.

I was peed off with DH. Firstly because they were my magnums. Petty, I realise, but it's nice to have something to myself that isn't ransacked by kids. There were plenty of other things to choose from.

Secondly, I didn't think he should be giving them a second ice cream.

When I told DH all of the above he got shitty with me. Asked me when the last time I ate one of the magnums was, etc. And then said 'if I want to give them an ice cream then I will.'

Well that's fine. But he's always actively trying to get me involved in hands on parenting with them. Yet, when it's something he doesn't agree with, the default seems to be, essentially, it's none of my business.

AIBU

OP posts:
Caprisunorange · 17/10/2018 19:32

I have to say there is some pure comedy gold in this thread. Empanadas Grin

But as an aside I’m hugely uncomfortable with food being off limits to children (aside from the obvious- ie alcohol) it seems so divisive and mean

Scatteredthoughtss · 17/10/2018 19:47

I don't understand the divisive and mean thing. None of my family has the same taste in snacks, but if the kids wanted to eat my lindt sea salt dark chocolate, I would expect them to ask, and I would not expect DH to hand it out.

Clandestino · 17/10/2018 19:54

My family k ow some of the treats are off limits because they're mine. I don't eat many, I always buy plenty of their favourites so white chocolate with hazelnuts or salted caramel are off limits.

WaxOnFeckOff · 17/10/2018 20:05

....and meanwhile on other threads parents are berated for allowing access to snacks/treats, the point being that the DC don't bring the crap into the house...

Willow2017 · 17/10/2018 20:09

it seems so divisive and mean

What to have a treat now and again thats just for you?

Dont be daft.
My kids chose thier own treats i dont eat them so they can keep thier hands off mine. Sometimes we all share a few of each.
But If i buy myself a bar of good choc and make it last a week i dont expect one of them to help themselves after they have eaten thier own treats.

Nobody is entitled to help themselves to someone elses things without asking first nor hand out someine elses stuff to other people.

WaxOnFeckOff · 17/10/2018 20:23

I could be completely barking up the wrong tree here, but if the OP was the parent and not the step parent, i think the answers might be different.

MiniPharm · 17/10/2018 20:53

I hate magnums. Don't see what the fuss is about. Marketing?

Caprisunorange · 17/10/2018 20:56

It’s not being daft willow, clearly my upbringing and the way we manage family now is different to you in that respect. Food is for the family here, not individuals

Gottagetmoving · 17/10/2018 21:04

Food is for the family here, not individuals

But it's not about food...It's about treats.
The kids are not being denied food. They aren't even being denied treats. They are being denied having someone else's treat!

Caprisunorange · 17/10/2018 21:07

Treats are still food Hmm

Willow2017 · 17/10/2018 22:10

Food is for the family here, not individuals

Definition of food "any nutritious substance that people or animals eat or drink or that plants absorb in order to maintain life and growth."

Treats are not necessary to maintain life.
Treats are just treats, they are not necessary but enjoyable. My kids are not being deprived of food, they are not going to starve to death because I dont share my 80% dark choc with them every single time.
They have the treats they chose I have mine. I dont go stealing thier treats they dont steal mine. Its not rocket science.
Get a grip.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 17/10/2018 22:20

Spare a thought for those of us who do not have a friend in lactose and cannot eat Magnums. Especially after so many people described delicious sounding flavours of Magnum that I have never seen before!!

BreconBeBuggered · 17/10/2018 23:26

I'm always astonished at the 'Oooh, I let my kids share everything!' responses on threads about food treats. I'd probably let the Magnum issue slide if they were easily replaceable, but allowing your children access to everything, really? Maybe it's an upbringing thing. My parents only had a chocolate treat once a week and we wouldn't have dreamed of touching that unless it was explicitly offered. Having accepted that there were limited chocolatey resources to be shared out, we were happy with our end of the deal. I do a similar thing, but, food being cheaper these days, there's enough access to chocolatey stuff that they wouldn't think of touching mine.

Gottagetmoving · 18/10/2018 07:28

Treats are still food

They aren't...they really aren't. They aren't necessary.
You don't have to share everything. It's ok to have something all to yourself.
It's ok to say no to your kids...' No, they are mine'

Caprisunorange · 18/10/2018 08:20

Willow that has got to be the most pathetic thread I’ve seen and that’s saying something. Dictionary Defining food to make a point 🤣

Doughnuts are treats. doughnuts are also food. I don’t care what the oxford English dictionary says

Gottagetmoving · 18/10/2018 09:19

Doughnuts are treats. doughnuts are also food. I don’t care what the oxford English dictionary says

No wonder there's an obesity problem in this country.Hmm

PhilomenaButterfly · 18/10/2018 10:45

For my DS 28 doughnuts and other high fat consumables are not treats, they are food. With enzyme capsules he can still only digest 3/4 of the fat that he eats. If he didn't eat what most people consider to be treats, he would starve to death. He's 5'10 and 7st. So the OED's definition is somewhat subjective.

Caprisunorange · 18/10/2018 11:07

That’s a very odd thing to say. I don’t like or eat doughnuts. It’s simply an example. Do you have comprehension issues?

daftyburd · 18/10/2018 11:45

BobbinThreadbare123 They have just brought out vegan Magnums. Tesco stocks them. I also do not have a friend in lactose and would shit myself inside out if I ate regular Magnums.

Willow2017 · 18/10/2018 11:59

Capri
I was making the point that for most people treats are not necessary to survive.

Your child wont die from lack of treats if they are getting a normal, nutritious diet at other times.

There is absolutely no reason why they should get their own treats and yours as well.
If you go out for a coffee and danish for example without your kids do you take part of your danish home for them because you are having 'food' and they arent? I dont. It doesnt affect them one bit.

At home am i only supposed to chose a treat for me that they also like? I chose something i like as do they. It doesnt matter a jot as we all get treats. At other times we share but not every time, its unecessary to have to get something someone else likes.

My eldest hates coconut. Does that mean i should never buy something with coconut in it just for me? I get my coconut and he gets something he likes everyone is happy.
Its really not a problem in our house. Kids understand this why cant you?

fifithefoof · 18/10/2018 12:08

Erm, if I go out for a treat I always bring Dh and ds one back. As does Dh for me.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 18/10/2018 12:38

daftyburd thank you so much! I didn't know there were vegan ones. I will give them a try. Love your turn of phrase too Grin

Willow2017 · 18/10/2018 13:03

I went for a coffee and danish while getting the shopping this morning.
I didnt get my kids a cake as they are in school and will get something sweet either at lunchtime or from cupboard at home at teatime when i am at work. Why would i need to buy them another treat?

toherdoor · 18/10/2018 13:08

You sound like a nice step parent.

My dh disciplines my ds. He also gets a say in whether he's had too many treats etc. I can't ask him to make his lunch or drive him to sports, while ignoring his opinions.

Your dh sounds like a bit of a tosser.

I'd never give my dh's chocolate away, unless I planned to replace it the same day.

Gottagetmoving · 18/10/2018 13:12

Erm, if I go out for a treat I always bring Dh and ds one back. As does Dh for me

Oh ffs!!

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