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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The great magnum row

189 replies

ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 16:59

DH and I went with his children to his parents earlier today. His parents gave all the kids a cornetto type ice-cream.

Then after dinner DH brings out a bowl of ice lollies and ice creams for them to chose from; included were my magnums. As is obvious, all the kids picked the magnums.

I was peed off with DH. Firstly because they were my magnums. Petty, I realise, but it's nice to have something to myself that isn't ransacked by kids. There were plenty of other things to choose from.

Secondly, I didn't think he should be giving them a second ice cream.

When I told DH all of the above he got shitty with me. Asked me when the last time I ate one of the magnums was, etc. And then said 'if I want to give them an ice cream then I will.'

Well that's fine. But he's always actively trying to get me involved in hands on parenting with them. Yet, when it's something he doesn't agree with, the default seems to be, essentially, it's none of my business.

AIBU

OP posts:
Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 18:29

@greendale17 The kids having an ice cream isn't the problem.

OP posts:
Gronky · 14/10/2018 18:31

That's a box from Tesco at £3.20.

Might I suggest Asda, Morrisons or Lidl where they're at most £2 and often on sale for £1.50 for a box of 4?

PawneeParksDept · 14/10/2018 18:34

The problem is obviously not the ice cream

Her DP took something belonging to her and gave it to his DC without asking

The DC had already had an ice cream and didn't need another and he was being an indulgent weekend Disney Dad.

When she pointed this out it was her fault, even though the fault was clearly his

I'm not sure he is the man for you @ilikemagnums

AlbusPercival · 14/10/2018 18:38

Two adult ice creams in one day is too many calories and too much sugar for kids

Whitecurrants · 14/10/2018 18:38

Raspberry is the only flavour I’d get upset over, possibly caramel. Does anybody know what happened to the white cookie crumble flavour? They seemed to disappear from the shops. OP, hugs. He should have asked IMO.

Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 19:04

@PawneeParksDept Yep!

And now he's telling me to sort my shit out

OP posts:
ShotsFired · 14/10/2018 19:10

Gronky ShotsFired It's an ice cream, it costs 38p.

It's the principle, which I am sure you were more than aware of.

CoughLaughFart · 14/10/2018 19:17

For me the big thing here is did your partner know these were your ‘special treat’ not to be shared with the kids? Or was it a case of him being expected to have a psychic flash or take in the information by osmosis?

If you’d said, ‘Don’t go giving my Magnums to the kids’ and he still did, that’s not on. If you just think he should have known and want to stamp your feet and say ‘But they were miiiine!’, you’re being a bit childish. It’s not like he’s a visitor - I wouldn’t expect to have to check with my partner every time I wanted to open the freezer.

Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 19:22

@CoughLaughFart I had said on several occasions (not recently) but prior to this that they were mine and I didn't want to share them

OP posts:
CoughLaughFart · 14/10/2018 19:24

In that case, he’s being deliberately belligerent.

zzzzz · 14/10/2018 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RangeRider · 14/10/2018 19:33

But it would have been much worse if they had eaten the raspberry Magnums.
That's actually considered grounds for murder where I come from. 'Justifiable homicide' Grin
Personally I'd have snatched them back while snarling.....

Gottagetmoving · 14/10/2018 19:33

It’s fine if you want to be tight and not share

Oh yes,..a woman who, God forbid, has something for herself is tight.....
FFS!

PawneeParksDept · 14/10/2018 19:36

The children had already had a Cornetto and didn't know the Magnums were there.

It's not like OP was eating one in their face going NERR NERR NERR I'M NOT SHARING Hmm

MortyVicar · 14/10/2018 19:41

OP define 'sort your shit out'. I'd maybe do just that - start packing a bag.

Seriously what does he mean by that? And what's he like generally?

CoughLaughFart · 14/10/2018 19:45

How long have you been together? It’s interesting that he thinks you don’t get involved enough with the children. Maybe he thinks it’s a case of ‘your children, my food’ - that you still don’t see yourself as half of a partnership.

zzzzz · 14/10/2018 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 19:53

@zzzzz I share everything always.

Sometimes it's nice to have something just for myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
ilikemagnums · 14/10/2018 19:54

@CoughLaughFart we have been together four years.

I personally think I'm very involved though

OP posts:
Rudgie47 · 14/10/2018 19:59

Just get yourself to Heron Foods tomorrow OP, they sometimes have 2 boxes for £2.00 or 1 box for £1.50.
I think the issue is you are getting ripped off for Magnums. £3.20 is way too much.

TheNoodlesIncident · 14/10/2018 20:05

We have the mini Magnums in for children - full size ones are for adults. But personally we do prefer to reserve mini Twisters for the kids really. OP is NBU, to offer the kids ice creams he knew were OP's special treat was a bit of dig, as was his totally off remark about it to OP.

We didn't get Viennetta much as kids, it was a Christmas pudding type scarcity - more usually Swiss roll in custard or as a treat, Arctic Roll Sad.

Kids these days, Cornettos and Magnums, dunno where it will end...

WhatsGoingOnEh · 14/10/2018 20:12

I don't like telling them off. I've always felt that it isn't my place to do so. I may have a bit of a moan to DH occasionally about things and ask him to speak to the kids about it and he always says, 'if it bothers you, speak to them yourself.' Etc.

My DH and I live my my DC. My DH is kind, thoughtful and incredibly helpful in all the practical ways, but absolutely rubbish at talking to my DC. I must admit, it annoys me. We all live in the same house; if they're doing something daft, annoying, or naughty, I would love him to tell them off. Otherwise it's just all on my shoulders.

Please talk to the DC yourself about things. You'll probably find you're much better at discipline than your DH is, because you're that bit more detached.

And I don't like your DH calling you a dick. Not at all. He should be restocking the freezer and bringing you Magnums.

Polkadot1502 · 14/10/2018 20:15

Sorry but I think yabu in saying they were yours. I wouldn't buy something like that and say to my kids no that's mine you can't have one, I'd rather my kids had one and left me with none than do that!

Frankswife87 · 14/10/2018 20:17

I want a magnum now! 🐷

Gottagetmoving · 14/10/2018 20:20

I'm not sure what “being a woman” has to do with it

Because it's well known a woman will usually put herself last.
When kids have so many treats, it's not selfish to have something for yourself and to expect that to be respected.
It's not selfish.

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