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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not attending parents evening?

397 replies

GreenLantern53 · 09/10/2018 17:56

I told my child teacher I wouldnt be able to attend parents evening and she didnt look impressed. aibu not attending?

OP posts:
StitchingMoss · 09/10/2018 17:57

Why? Cos you can’t be arsed or can’t make it?

WorraLiberty · 09/10/2018 17:57

How do we know? Confused

crunchtime · 09/10/2018 17:57

Why wouldn't you attend?
It gives the impression that you don't give a shit

Walkerbean16 · 09/10/2018 17:57

its ten minutes once or twice a year, why would you not attend?

PotteringAlong · 09/10/2018 17:58

It depends why you’re not going really.

Isitsixoclockalready · 09/10/2018 17:59

It depends on the situation. If there's a good reason, understandable.

Original poster
GreenLantern53 · 09/10/2018 17:59

Im unable to attend the reasons are not relevant, Like I said I cant not cant be bothered. but surely working parents for example might not be able to attend? she seemed really Shock

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 09/10/2018 17:59

Did you give a reason you couldn't attend? Will you be able to discuss your child's progress at another time?

Original poster
GreenLantern53 · 09/10/2018 18:00

That should be I cant, not that cant be bothered*

OP posts:
SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 09/10/2018 18:00

I guess that depends on context.

'I won't be attending parents' evening because frankly I don't give a shit and I've got a week's worth of Jezza Kyle to catch up on'

'I won't be attending parents' evening as I am performing a 7-hour surgical procedure that day and I cannot possibly get here on time'.

kaytee87 · 09/10/2018 18:00

Oh great another one of those threads where the op doesn't give any relevant information and expects us to have a crystal ball.

SpoonBlender · 09/10/2018 18:01

Without you stating a good reason, it's perfectly reasonable that a teacher would be unimpressed with you not attending. It's a very important part of the parent - school relationship.

If at all possible, you should definitely try to attend. And even if not, you should be aware of how important it is.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 09/10/2018 18:02

she seemed really shock

Did you give her a bit more context than you're prepared to drip into this thread?

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/10/2018 18:02

Can’t or won’t of course makes a difference.

I doubt parents evenings are a highlight for teachers and if she’s giving up her evening to do it she’s probably a bit narked if the way you said it suggests you can’t be bothered to show up for ten minutes to hear how your child is getting on.

bridgetreilly · 09/10/2018 18:02

In general, parents are expected to make arrangements so that they can attend. Of course, that's not always possible, but usually there's plenty of notice and parents make an effort to be there. If you just said you can't come, without making any attempt to speak to her at another time, or to find out how your child is doing, then I'm not surprised she was shocked.

WheelOfMisfortune · 09/10/2018 18:02

“I’m unable to attend, the reasons are not relevant”.

In fact, the reason is the only relevant factor here. Impossible to tell you if you are being unreasonable without it.

MigGril · 09/10/2018 18:03

Our school say if you can't attend let them know and they can arrange a mutual conviante time. Yes not all parents can attend a specific date, another reason why our school splits it over two days I think.

Primary seems to be compulsory, where as high school round hear they seem to in it want to see you if there is a problem. As they have a lot of children to teach..

Sirzy · 09/10/2018 18:03

Surely you would follow it up with “but can we have a quick catch up at some point soon, x day is best for me if possible”

YeTalkShiteHen · 09/10/2018 18:03

I think the reason is relevant.

If you’re working, don’t have childcare or are unwell fair enough.

If you just can’t be arsed or can’t be arsed to source childcare then that’s different.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 09/10/2018 18:03

Oh great another one of those threads where the op doesn't give any relevant information and expects us to have a crystal ball.

'I said something. The other person reacted. AIBU?' Grin

Athena51 · 09/10/2018 18:03

I think there should be a good reason for missing it, it's pretty important. I worked full time but always made it to parents' evening especially as Ex-H couldn't be relied upon to go.

anniehm · 09/10/2018 18:04

No, if you genuinely cannot, then you can't. I've skipped my dd's parents meeting because they moved it to daytime and I had meetings that day I had to attend and dh was teaching himself. If a school offers appointments only on one day, in our case finishing at 4pm (kids were given day off) working parents struggle. By the way it's not 10 minutes, it took over 2 hours to see her teachers (secondary)

Original poster
GreenLantern53 · 09/10/2018 18:04

Ive already said I cant, not that I dont want to, so the reason isnt relevant. It was at pick up she pointed to he forms and I told her I couldnt attend, there was atleast 30 other parents there so I was not really going to announce infront of them. She didnt ask for the reason anyway just kind of gave a funny look.

OP posts:
NorthernRunner · 09/10/2018 18:05

You won’t be the only working parent OP.

It’s hard to say if YABU or not without more information

Almostfifty · 09/10/2018 18:05

When I couldn't make it in the evening (due to DH being away and no babysitters) school made me appointments during the day to see their teachers.

Could you try that?