not attending parents evening?

[GreenLantern53]

I told my child teacher I wouldnt be able to attend parents evening and she didnt look impressed. aibu not attending?

[MissEliza]

Ime young dcs love their parents going into school, seeing their work and talking their teacher, who is a really important person in their life. Your dc will be aware that parents are going into the school and will wonder why you're not.

[Henryismyfriend]

I totally agree that you should give a reason for not attending if you don't want to feel like you're being judged, it is important, even in reception to establish a good relationship with school.
That said I didn't go to DDs last one, through sheer lack of cooperation from the school. I emailed as soon as I knew the date (secondary school and it's a daytime thing) and knew I'd be between night shifts, and asked for the first, or last appointment and explained why. Due to the travel involved etc I'm looking at about 4 hours in total to get up and sorted, get there, see the teachers, get home and getting sorted again. That leaves me with about 2 hours broken sleep if it's in the middle of the day. Teacher agreed, then when it came to allocation of appointments promptly forgot and I got a middle of the day appointment. No good at all. When I asked to be changed I got attitude and 'well if your child's education is less important than your sleep' to which I lost it a bit and said they had been warned about this and before appointments allocated I'd requested what I'd need. And quite frankly doing my job on 2 hours sleep puts lives at risk.
So although I tried to compromise and make it because I wanted to, I was still judged. I didn't go, but spoke to her form tutor on the phone. All was well.

[sanityisamyth]

My DS is in reception and he's achieved so much in the six weeks. His pen control is now phenomenal, he's writing legible letters and reading and recognising short words
I'd definitely consider his parents' evening one worth going to. YABU.

[brizzledrizzle]

Why does it matter? All they do in Reception is paint pictures and play with toys. Going to the pub or out with mates is obviously far more important especially if you are that parent who can't be bothered because education is all the responsibility of the school

[PoxAlert]

Bloody hell.

So this is his first parents evening and you can't even make the effort?

That's really sad to read.

[brizzledrizzle]

Of course he will know, he's not stupid.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Reception is your child’s first experience of school - arguably a pretty important year, as it is the foundation for the rest of their time in school - I think that matters.

[GreenLantern53]

vital? reception isnt even compulsory

[GreenLantern53]

Yep I cant be bothered too busy watching jeremy kyle if that makes you happy

[MissEliza]

Your dc is 4 so presumably in foundation. It's vital that you meet with the teacher. If you truly can't make it, you should ask if there's a time the teacher can see you.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Be honest - you just can’t be arsed.

[GreenLantern53]

Haha! Still posting...this has randomly been bumped up again. It had disapeared off the first 4 pages. People keep bumping it. How about people stop commenting on it if they dont want me to

[Morgan12]

You can't get honest feedback and opinions about this if you are unwilling to state the reason for missing it.

Personally, nothing would make me miss my children's.

[HackAttack]

It's clear you cannot be bothered. Why are you still posting about it?

[GreenLantern53]

oh and btw my 4 year old wont care because he wont know.

[GreenLantern53]

We can not book the slots online. its first come first served so whoever is there first gets the pick of the slots.

[brizzledrizzle]

Personally I'd make it a priority; I've never missed one and would only miss one if it was a life or death situation. The reason you say you can't go is very relevant; presumably you won't say what it is because it won't sound like a valid reason to miss such an important event.

What kind of message is not going sending to your child?

[PoxAlert]

Our school does 2 parents evenings in a week.

One that's 3-6 and one that's 5-8

That way you've got two opportunities.

I'd miss most other stuff over a parents evening TBH.

Failing that is schedule another time to talk to the teacher.

From the fact you're being so cagey and not saying the reason you can't go is giving me the impression it's something you could easily get out of, you just for some reason find something else more important than your child's education.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

She doesn’t have to explain her reasons, @Thesnobbymiddleclassone - but if she doesn’t explain to the teacher, she shouldn’t be surprised at being judged by her. As I said - to me, her refusal to given even the most basic of reasons gives me the impression that either she doesn’t care, can’t be bothered, or has some unimportant social event that means more to her.

If she is OK with the teacher thinking along these lines, that is her choice.

[Thesnobbymiddleclassone]

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I don't see why OP needs to explain her reasons to us or the teacher. She has told them she can't make it and that's that.

[Lizzie48]

At our school, we have to choose our slot, and there are 3 days where there are possible slots to book online. I really can't believe that there won't be any slot that works for you. Okay, you might have a medical appointment on the first day, what about the other 2 days?

And even if you are very busy and can't get away from work on any of those days, surely you'd just arrange a mutually convenient time?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@MMCQ - the issue here is not that the OP can’t make it to Parents’ Eveni g, but that she doesn’t see the need to explain why, to the teacher. If she was working, and couldn’t get away, why would she not simply say so? I am sure she wouldn’t be the first working parent who can’t get to PE that the teacher has encountered.

Similarly, if she has an appointment (medical or otherwise) that cannot easily be rearranged, why not say so. There is no need to go into detail - she could simply have said “I have an appointment I can’t reschedule - could I see you some other time?”

Frankly, I can’t think of any valid reason for missing Parents’ Evening that couldn’t be mentioned, if only in general terms, and this makes me suspect that the OP either can’t be bothered, or has some social engagement she is prioritising over Parents’ Evening.

[bellie710]

I have 3 children and DH works away, I have missed a few parents nights and have never been asked by the school to explain myself as to why I can’t make it, this is bizarre?!?
It doesn’t mean I don’t give a shit about their education it just means I can’t make it! The teachers themselves say don’t worry if we had any concerns we would let you know, surely this is the same for all schools??

[MMCQ]

There are a lot of nasty dissenters on here. Sometimes working parents simply cannot make it. Some of us work internationally too. Attending isn’t an option, we should not be judged harshly nor at all. It also dies not mean we are not obtaining that info another way. I am always pushing the school to consider using electronic comma or allow us to be flexible and see the teacher a different day. Just because you can’t mske a specific dates dies not mean that parent dies not care. Get a grip.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@MauraIsles - no, the OP has not given any reason why she can't or won't attend, despite being asked a number of times. I can't imagine any valid reason for non-attendance that can't be mentioned in general terms, even if it is something private that @GreenLantern53 doesn't want to discuss in detail.

IE. - "I can't go to Parents' Evening because I have a medical appointment/other appointment/meeting that can't be rescheduled". No-one is expecting the OP to say "I can't go, because I'm having a smear/visiting an insolvency practitioner/going to court" - either here or to the teacher - and I am sure the teacher wouldn't expect this either.