not attending parents evening?

[GreenLantern53]

I told my child teacher I wouldnt be able to attend parents evening and she didnt look impressed. aibu not attending?

[YeTalkShiteHen]

Because I genuinely didnt think it was a big deal?

Seriously?

[Thisreallyisafarce]

GreenLantern53

You didn't think Parents' Evening was a big deal? To a teacher?

[formerbabe]

Erm, why should op have had to go into the reasons why she couldn't go in front of loads of people

She doesn't but look at it this way...

Teacher:. Hello, will you be coming to parents evening next week?
Parent:. No (walks off)

Teacher:. Hello, will you be coming to parents evening next week?
Parent:. No, I won't I'm afraid, I have a prior appointment/meeting/work event I cannot get out of. Can we have a catch up at another point if possible?

No need for your life story but a little explanation would go a long way.

[HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone]

If ops getting stick for not asking the teacher should get equal amount for not telling.

Yes the teacher should automatically offer a different time and day to suit the OP even though the teacher has no idea why the OP cannot attend the time and dates already offered. The teacher should just rearrange their time around the OPs convenience without knowing the reason for doing so? The OP could have a flaming hair appointment for all the teacher knows, but never mind the teachers time is clearly not important at all and as such they should bend to the whims of parents without question. It's amazing how bloody entitled some people are...

[Thisreallyisafarce]

zzzzz

Why would I imagine it was necessary? I don't imagine anything. Supporting your children with learning at home IS necessary.

Jesus wept.

[chocolateworshipper]

If you'd said "Unfortunately it just isn't possible for me to attend on that day, but is there any chance you could meet with me a different day, or perhaps discuss it over the phone at some point?" - I think you would have had a different reaction from the teacher.

[speakout]

I think it is a big deal.

Our primary would publish numbers of parents who attended.
So 102/104 pupils had parents attend for example.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@GreenLantern53 - I have to say, I can’t think of any valid reason for missing Parents’ Evening that you couldn’t talk about in public. Even if you were having a very intimate medical procedure, you could have told the teacher without going into detail.

Refusing to give any reason (even in general terms - “I have work/a doctor’s appointment/another appointment that cannot be rearranged - can I get in touch to arrange an alternate time, please?”) leaves both the teacher and posters on this thread to infer that the reason is so trivial that it shouldn’t be taking precedence over your child’s education.

[EvaPerron]

I'm guessing not shocked, more pissed off. Teachers are obliged to sit in school on parent's evening, usually until 7pm.... fine it's part of the job, but then when parents can't make it, they generally insist on having their meeting at another time and take longer than ten minutes over it, which takes up another afterschool session. Again fine as a one off but if a few people do it then it really plies up.
If you can't make it then you can't make it.... nobody's going to force you, just don't expect your dc's class teacher to express delight over it.

[GreenLantern53]

Not that parents evening isnt a big deal that came out wrong, more that it wouldnt be an issue that I couldnt attend as I thought it would be quite common.

[confusedmummy76]

So why can't you attend ?

[Piggywaspushed]

I will admit to not having RTFT but, as a teacher, nothing annoys me more than parents who don't attend parents' evening, and then expect their own bespoke, specialised catch up (which is invaruably longer than a parents' evening appointment!) or a phone call or email.

If you don't want to/ can't come : meh. No skin off my back. I am usually completely booked up anyway (and, as a teacher myself, not always able to attnend my onw DCs' parents' evenings , sadly). But that is your once a year opportunity to meet a teacher and hear some feedback. Don't expect special treatment if you don't come unless you ARE perfoming a 7 hour surgical procedure, in which case I would be understanding...

[Greyponcho]

Parents evenings take a lot of time and effort to prepare for, often requiring the teacher to work long hours in preparation and on the day itself. It’s exhausting.
To say “oh no, I’m really sorry that I won’t be able to attend that day due to having an important commitment that is impossible to get out of lessons in manners, perhaps? as it was booked weeks ago. Would it be possible to reschedule for a time that is suitable for us both?” is much different to the response given.

[Piggywaspushed]

Soemthing of a X post with eva there ! although my evenings go on til 9pm

[Fairenuff]

Is it primary school?

[Purpleartichoke]

Not common. Parents rearrange their schedules to attend these events.

If you can’t make it, you need to be proactive and contact the teacher to set up an alternative meeting or phone call.

[LonginesPrime]

OP, it's because by not offering any sort of explanation, you implied that you didn't feel you needed a reason not to go and that it's optional.

Which signalled to the teacher that parents' evening is very low on your list of priorities.

[sproutsplease]

I think it depends on how you approached it, "oh, I'm sorry I can't attend on that day can I arrange another day? I want to catch up with how dc is doing " is very different to, "oh, I can't attend".

[Greyponcho]

(Even these extra appointments take up even more of the teachers time, so to make the effort to attend the evening itself is expected)

[Thisreallyisafarce]

GreenLantern53

It's not uncommon (though still not common) for parents to be unable to come. It is VERY uncommon for them to just go "can't" them expect you to rearrange. Behave yourself.

[formerbabe]

Not that parents evening isnt a big deal that came out wrong, more that it wouldnt be an issue that I couldnt attend as I thought it would be quite common

What you said and the way you said it is vital.

Did you just say "no" and nothing else?

Or

Did you offer a reason, even if it was vague, with an apology and an attempt to reschedule?

Bloody hell! This thread is painful. The teacher has my full sympathy.

[HackAttack]

You don't seem particularly invested so your presence would likely be pointless

[Thisreallyisafarce]

zzzzz

Majorly shitty attitude. Congrats! Anyway, think we're finished here. Good luck.