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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you think I have upset my DS's flute teacher?

196 replies

MrsKnickers12 · 04/10/2018 18:26

I work in a primary school and my DS is in year 3 (same school).

My DS's flute teacher visits our school on aTuesday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoon. She sees DS after school on a Tuesday (at 3:20) for a private lesson and I pay her cash weekly.

There have been a couple of occasions where DS has forgotten his Flute and music, but has still had his lesson as she has a spare instrument and music.

I didn't have any money on Tuesday, so I apologised and said I would bring it on tomorrow (Wednesday). I forgot again and said I would bring it in on Thursday (today) and as I finish early would leave the money at the school reception.

I forgot again! She sent me a text earlier saying they couldn't find my money at reception and I replied saying sorry, I'd had a really busy week and would pay double next week if that's ok?

She normally responds straight away to text messages and there has been no response. I am now worried that she is fed up with us (I'm pretty disorganised and DS doesn't do much practise).

Am I over-reacting or do you think she's going to dump us? I feel really worried about this!

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 04/10/2018 18:28

You’re taking the piss mate

Sort it out so he stops forgetting everything and just pay the woman on time

jarhead123 · 04/10/2018 18:30

Could you offer to pay monthly upfront via bank transfer so she knows you aren't pissing her around?

19lottie82 · 04/10/2018 18:30

Yup, that’s ridiculous. Text her now and ask if you can send it via bank transfer.

zzzzz · 04/10/2018 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShatnersBassoon · 04/10/2018 18:31

Yes, you've upset her. Offer to send the money now by bank transfer and carry on doing that from now on.

AdelaideK · 04/10/2018 18:31

She's probably more annoyed than upset. I'm sorry you're worrying but you do need to pay when you're meant to. You aren't being fair.

StarfishSandwich · 04/10/2018 18:31

Does DS actually want to learn the flute? If he’s not practising much and forgets him instrument and music frequently, it doesn’t exactly seem like he’s committed?

Happytea · 04/10/2018 18:32

Text again asking for her bank details and transfer this and next week payments.

Keeptrudging · 04/10/2018 18:32

YABU to not make your son practice. What's in it for his flute teacher if you don't pay her AND he's making little progress/not enthusiastic? I would hazard a guess that you'd be forgiven more easily if your DS was a real keen bean.

Stupomax · 04/10/2018 18:32

Text her back, ask for her address, drive there with the money and something else to say sorry.

And stop forgetting.

Quartz2208 · 04/10/2018 18:33

Um you havent paid and your son doesnt take it seriously enough (and you) to remember his flute

Yes you probably have Im afraid

user1493413286 · 04/10/2018 18:33

Ask for her bank details; she might be relying on that money and not know how to say that she can’t actually wait

BikeRunSki · 04/10/2018 18:33

You don’t pay her
Your DS doesn’t practice
What’s she gaining out of this really?

Of course she’s p’ed off with you.

Stupomax · 04/10/2018 18:33

Are you really the flute teacher?

PurpleFlower1983 · 04/10/2018 18:33

I would be annoyed too! Why do you bother if he doesn’t practise?

TeaByTheSeaside · 04/10/2018 18:34

*You’re taking the piss mate

Sort it out so he stops forgetting everything and just pay the woman on time*

^^ this with bells on!!

Glumglowworm · 04/10/2018 18:34

Well she’s entitled to be pissed off that you’ve repeatedly “forgotten” to pay for the lesson he’s already had. In your case it may be genuine forgetfulness but she will also have had parents who do anything to get out of paying. However i don’t expect she’s going to dump you over it unless you make a habit of it.

Get yourself organised for goodness sake! And your son too but at least he has the excuse of being 7. If he wants to learn an instrument then he needs to practice and remember to bring the instrument on days he has lessons.

Offer to pay by bank transfer so she isn’t waiting for you to get your act together and remember to bring cash. Suggest that as the way forward and then pay her the same day as the lesson. Whether the teacher prefers cash or bank transfer, set a reminder on your phone to prompt you to do it each week.

SevernWye · 04/10/2018 18:34

Yes. If it’s too much for you to take on (instrument, music, remembering to pay) drop the lesson.

CSIblonde · 04/10/2018 18:35

That's poor. I tutored & you'd be off my list for good. Do you not have a wall calendar in the kitchen or use your phone calendar for school & after school stuff? Keep the flute by the front door. It's not acceptable to be that chaotic about paying for people's skills or time.

GruciusMalfoy · 04/10/2018 18:36

I'd be pretty annoyed in her shoes. It doesn't sound like you're taking her very seriously.

Sparklingbrook · 04/10/2018 18:38

If you can't remember to pay, DS can't remember his flute and music and he doesn't practice I would jack it in TBH.

Text her, pay what you owe and cancel.

ReginaPhalangee · 04/10/2018 18:39

You need to give up your son's lessons and stop taking the piss. From a former peri (25 years) and current primary teacher (22 years). You are the reason why peris hate doing the job and the reason I stopped. HTH

Original poster
MrsKnickers12 · 04/10/2018 18:39

I've offered a bank transfer in the past and she prefers cash.

Maybe I should call her and apologise?

OP posts:
ReginaPhalangee · 04/10/2018 18:40

Also... what if your employer 'forgot' to pay you? This is someone's livelihood. Not a bloody hobby.

Sparklingbrook · 04/10/2018 18:40

I think she will gladly let you pay by bank transfer given the circumstances.

Calling to apologise would be good and ask if it's worth continuing if DS doesn't practice?