To ask if you think I have upset my DS's flute teacher?

[MrsKnickers12]

I work in a primary school and my DS is in year 3 (same school).

My DS's flute teacher visits our school on aTuesday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoon. She sees DS after school on a Tuesday (at 3:20) for a private lesson and I pay her cash weekly.

There have been a couple of occasions where DS has forgotten his Flute and music, but has still had his lesson as she has a spare instrument and music.

I didn't have any money on Tuesday, so I apologised and said I would bring it on tomorrow (Wednesday). I forgot again and said I would bring it in on Thursday (today) and as I finish early would leave the money at the school reception.

I forgot again! She sent me a text earlier saying they couldn't find my money at reception and I replied saying sorry, I'd had a really busy week and would pay double next week if that's ok?

She normally responds straight away to text messages and there has been no response. I am now worried that she is fed up with us (I'm pretty disorganised and DS doesn't do much practise).

Am I over-reacting or do you think she's going to dump us? I feel really worried about this!

call, apologize, and offer to hand deliver it immediately - and prepay a few weeks also

Just pay double next week and leave a bottle of wine at the reception for her as well. And don’t forget again.

You’re not wanting to ring her at midnight. Just phone and apologise and offer to drop the money to her ASAP.

She seems really easy going so I'm sure although she's (quite rightly) annoyed with me right now, hopefully by next Tuesday she'll be fine again.

I'd imagine if she hears nothing from you between now and next Tuesday she'll have come to the conclusion that you're even more of a cheeky fucker.

Oh dear Stupomax - do you have PMT? I let all the other catty comments go

It’s shitty chasing people for money. Pay her!!

Just bloody text her, ask for her address so you can post it through her letter box, admit your mistake and pay a month in advance next time to avoid this. Imagine if your employer just forgot to pay you, and then kept you waiting?

Fucks sake, if I were her I'd take your bank transfer and then fuck you off, no more flute.

Sorry, don't mean to be rude, but crinnnggggee. Entitled much.

I have texted her, she hasn't responded. I also called, she didn't answer. I understand she's pissed off with me but unfortunately I cannot drop the money over if I cannot contact her.

If you can't drop cash off to her, I would put the cash in an envelope and leave it in reception tomorrow and then message her now to say where it is so that she knows that payment is ready and waiting for her before your next lesson.

Imagine if everyone did that.

I’m sure her mortgage company and other major outgoings would be just as understanding! Take it as a lesson to you and don’t forget again, would be my tuppenceworth

Tell her in future you'll be paying by bank transfer (and make sure you do). She has the right to timely payment, not cash in hand.

Have you text her specifically saying 'can I have your address so I can post some money through your letterbox for this weeks and next weeks lesson' or have you just text her saying 'so sorry I promise I won't forget again'

She has the right to set her wins terms only to accept payment in whatever form she chooses.

If you don’t like those terms don’t use her services.

She’s self employed. It’s up to her what methods of payment she takes.

*own terms

I've offered to bank transfer but she prefers cash. Yes I have offered to drive to her house to drop off the money in the text. I can leave it at school tomorrow but there's no point as she's not in until Tuesday.

I agree YABU generally but this is not normal practice. All the music teachers I know of require a term's payment in advance to avoid this sort of scenario. So, she has partly created the problem by requiring a weekly cash payment, which is unusual and doesn't make a lot of business sense, as pupils could quit without giving her any notice at all. But there is no excuse for forgetting instrument and music. Give up or switch him to the piano!

@raisinsraisins I don’t mind if children don’t practise, once they show up and their parents pay on time and don’t expect much/any progress. I have adult students too that don’t practise much during the week and just enjoy playing for an hour a week. To be honest it’s much more rewarding for me when someone does practise and progress but I recognise the value of a “therapeutic” weekly lesson too.

OP do you show up at the hairdresser, get a haircut and then tell them you’ll pay them next week?

I'm not going to hang you out to dry OP as several posters have said it all but from now on you really need to organise yourself and your DS with however many reminders you need Post It's on doors if necessary to make sure this NEVER happens again

I'd say you are THISCLOSE to losing his place and only still have it because you are Staff

Her next step will be to go to your Head if this carries on.

Would you rather random mumsnetters tell you to get your shit together or your boss?

I used to work as a cash in hand tutor whilst living in Spain. Full time job paid pennies and just about covered the bills. Without the tutoring, I couldn't eat and there was a time a woman forgot to pay me 5 times consecutively. I was destitute but also too anxious to ask for the money. You don't know what sort of situation she is in and this is really poor from you. It may not be a lot to you but could mean she's not eating because of lack of cash flow. Apologise, pay and never forget again.

Yes I realise I need to get my act together.

I don't however think it's quite as dramatic as some posters are making out. I admit I am in the wrong and should pay on time, but the private lessons are on top of her day job where she works for the local music service and presumably gets paid monthly by BACS by her employer which most people do.

I don't think she will have trouble paying her mortgage or will go hungry because I've forgotten to pay for a music lesson a couple of times.

You don't know her situation! She could have incredibly high outgoings for a number of reasons and relies on the extra money made by tutoring. One of my oldest friends is a teacher but that only covers her bills etc leaving about £10 a week for food/social life so completely relies on tutoring to top up her money so she can afford to eat everyday.

Stop making excuses and just accept that you are in the wrong.

As previously mentioned, pay monthly in advance, and definitely chocolates or a nice bunch of flowers. (But put a reminder on your calender, so you know when each monthly amount is next due).

But you don't know her situation. I was working in a school and paid BACS but my life was hell as we just didn't have any money. I wish I was being dramatic. Obviously mine was a very extreme case and I'd be surprised if hers is similar, but it does happen and you just don't know what sort of financial situation she's in.

I just said I was in the wrong, or did you choose not to read that bit?