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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you use your lounge pass if rest of your party didn’t have one?

298 replies

Havabiscuit · 02/10/2018 04:48

We are going on holiday with my Dad and Step mum. Df has early Alzheimer’s and wants to visit his favourite restaurant in Spain. We have a timeshare out there. Glad to help out.
However Sm has been weird, she is a bit of a controller I know but now dreading whole thing. I originally wanted to book early morning flights. They are silly o clock but cheap. She thought this was too much for df so we booked more expensive flights 10am. Today, when suggesting joint taxi to airport it turns out she wants to go early and use her lounge passes for breakfast. “Unfortunately” she laughs “we can’t get you in as guests, you will have pay £25”
I’m fuming and don’t want to go. ( or at least don’t want her to go)

OP posts:
Autumn101 · 02/10/2018 04:51

As long as there’s no backstory to this I wouldn’t have an issue with that sorry!

shakeyourcaboose · 02/10/2018 04:53

Is she a frequent flyer? Where did she get the guest pass? Could she literally be doing this for attention or just to create drama? Id leave her to it- 'ok then, see you at the gate at X o'clock' unless you have to check in together!

shakeyourcaboose · 02/10/2018 04:55

And then say, and don't worry if course we will only charge you a nominal rate for staying at our place.. and laugh as well! ( I may be grumpy due to being awake so early!!

blackteaplease · 02/10/2018 04:55

Can you afford it? If so I'd pay it for my dad's sake.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/10/2018 05:12

“Considering you’re staying at our place for free stepmother, I’m surprised you aren’t offering to pay for the taxi and breakfast.”

She doesn’t sound very nice at all. Does your father understand this? Will they pay their way over there?

AjasLipstick · 02/10/2018 05:13

Oh God I think you're being a bit petty. This trip is about your Dad and he should be comfortable. Just pay the 25 pounds.

BouleBaker · 02/10/2018 05:17

She is being controlling and a bit rude. You’re not going to change her, so you need to look at your options and choose which will be least hassle.

Twillow · 02/10/2018 05:18

Not a huge deal, really. Keep the peace for your father's sake.

Sirzy · 02/10/2018 05:31

If it’s that big an issue fly out seperatly and meet there!

I would have thought being in the lounge beforehand would make it so much easier for your father who this is supposed to be about.

Happygolucky009 · 02/10/2018 05:39

Although I understand your annoyance, I think an early flight for df may be difficult and disorientating. Although with a later flight, the airport will be much busier. Therefore the lounge is a fab idea 💡

I would welcome the opportunity to drop df and sm in lounge before enjoying some time apart !

EdisonLightBulb · 02/10/2018 05:44

Just have your breakfast at giraffe or Frankie and bennys or whatever they have there. TBH, my dad has Alzheimer's and I would feel happier if he was in a private lounge. Your SM has sadly a lot worse to come ☹️

Shoxfordian · 02/10/2018 05:45

Probably more relaxing for your dad to be in the lounge so don't make it into an issue

PillowOfSociety · 02/10/2018 05:52

Just have a coffee outside ‘the lounge’.

I would just let her / them get in with it, tbh. Smile and nod. Nothing to be gained by a series of tensions and rows in this situation.

Uncreative · 02/10/2018 05:54

Yes, it is rude but there is no point in calling her on it as it’s probably in your dad’s best interests.

Nakedavenger74 · 02/10/2018 05:55

We do this frequently when travelling with friends or family. We go into the lounge and they shop or get coffee elsewhere. No big deal. I'm going to see them on the plane and for a two week holiday. 45 minutes makes little difference but they (as do I) see it as a place of peace and relaxation.
Plus it's fine to drink at 9am...

Booie09 · 02/10/2018 06:00

For your dad's sake don't make a big deal of it! Let them go to the lounge then you can go for breakfast somewhere else.

LellyMcKelly · 02/10/2018 06:02

Just say, ‘That’s great..we’ll drop you off at the lounge and meet you at security later. It’ll give us time to do some shopping’.

bimbobaggins · 02/10/2018 06:02

We went on holiday last year with a relative and had access to the business class lounge and they didn’t. Of course we went in and left them. They weren’t bothered

ibblebibbledibble · 02/10/2018 06:02

So they get their breakfast for free with their passes? Wouldn’t have a problem with that, especially as it’s probably easier for your dad too. Just say you’ll have your breakfast and a wander round the shops and see them at the gate.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 02/10/2018 06:04

I think you are going to have to keep the peace. I don’t think sibu to not want an early flight or take your Df to the lounge.
You really have to look at this long term, she will need to be there for your dad 24/7, so you will have to try and pull together.
However I would ask her to pay for the taxi.

liquidrevolution · 02/10/2018 06:04

She can pay for your dad to go with her. You meet them at the gate.

I think she's being a twat. At least you know that now as I imagine you will have to deal with her more in the coming years.

toomuchtooold · 02/10/2018 06:08

If I were the only one in the party with a lounge pass I wouldn't, but that's not the case. Agree it would have been classy of your SM to invite you both to the lounge, but there you go. I can totally understand where she is coming from on the later flights though - you dad might be getting a bit slower if the Alzheimer's is getting worse.

She sounds a bit thoughtless at worst, but you know her better than us - what's she like normally? Can you just grit your teeth and get along with her? There might not be that many of these trips left.

speakout · 02/10/2018 06:10

Sounds like the holiday will be a bundle of laughs.

You haven't even reached the airport and arguing already.

Thehop · 02/10/2018 06:13

Oh, that’s exactly your share of the accommodation charge! Shall we call it even?

londonrach · 02/10/2018 06:18

Private lounge is perfect for your dad. Just meet them after youve had breakfast elsewhere.