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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you use your lounge pass if rest of your party didn’t have one?

298 replies

Havabiscuit · 02/10/2018 04:48

We are going on holiday with my Dad and Step mum. Df has early Alzheimer’s and wants to visit his favourite restaurant in Spain. We have a timeshare out there. Glad to help out.
However Sm has been weird, she is a bit of a controller I know but now dreading whole thing. I originally wanted to book early morning flights. They are silly o clock but cheap. She thought this was too much for df so we booked more expensive flights 10am. Today, when suggesting joint taxi to airport it turns out she wants to go early and use her lounge passes for breakfast. “Unfortunately” she laughs “we can’t get you in as guests, you will have pay £25”
I’m fuming and don’t want to go. ( or at least don’t want her to go)

OP posts:
LittleBookofCalm · 02/10/2018 06:20

you are already fuming and have not stepped on the plane.
lighten up op.

chatwoo · 02/10/2018 06:35

Presumably your Step Mum will take your Dad into the lounge as her guest and they will have a nice breakfast before the flight?

I think that's perfectly reasonable.

SD1978 · 02/10/2018 06:36

I understand what you're saying- but I agree an early morning flight would not be in your DF best interest with his condition. The lounge- I can understand why you at emiffed- but you're doing this for your dad- not her.

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2018 06:40

But she wants to go early to use the lounge. But didn't want to go early for the flights. I'm guessing it's similar timing in which case yanbu

companylovesmisery · 02/10/2018 06:44

She won’t go early for an early flight but will go early for a lounge breakfast?! Weird!

Don’t share a taxi. Let them go early to have breakfast and meet them at the gate. Let her have the angst of moving luggage, checking in alone and finding you later as she is the one who wants to do something without you.

Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 06:48

End the coffee and breakfast in the restaurant without them and take the headspace break.

Sorry about your dad Flowers

Havaina · 02/10/2018 06:48

Don’t share a taxi. Let them go early to have breakfast and meet them at the gate. Let her have the angst of moving luggage, checking in alone and finding you later as she is the one who wants to do something without you

This ^^

wowfudge · 02/10/2018 06:49

Dear god - let it go OP and don't be petty or nasty about things.

SunnyintheSun · 02/10/2018 06:52

Get separate taxis to the airport and meet them at the gate??

strawberrisc · 02/10/2018 06:54

Non issue. Let your Dad enjoy his breakfast.

Sirzy · 02/10/2018 06:59

Even if timings end up similar there is a massive difference between arriving in a rush and straight to the hustle of the airport and arriving relaxed and being able to enjoy a leisurely relaxed breakfast!

Let’s not forget at the centre of this is a gentleman with Alzheimer’s so it is important to make things as easy for him (and those caring for him!) as possible.

I also think the key to make any sort of group holiday work is not to live in each other’s pockets the whole time. Everyone needs “down time”

rookiemere · 02/10/2018 07:03

She sounds like a pain, but take it as an opportunity to avoid spending time with her until you get there and keep focused on the purpose of the trip.

Candlelights2345 · 02/10/2018 07:05

Just meet them at the gate then, it is a bit twatty but as others have said probably better for your dad.

Inertia · 02/10/2018 07:06

I’d be annoyed too- she’s lied about timings , and you have already paid more for flights to suit her. Especially galling if you are already paying for the accommodation too - presumably there is no charge when you take guests to the timeshare?

I’d do what a PP suggests - tell her you’ll travel separately to the airport as you’re working to the later flight times, and you’ll meet them at the departure gate.

AuntBeastie · 02/10/2018 07:09

It sounds like quite a sensible set up for your dad - no disorienting early wake up and the peace of the lounge once there. It doesn’t sound like your SM was very polite about it but I can see why she wants to do it this way. Just leave them to it and have your breakfast somewhere cheaper.

serbska · 02/10/2018 07:09

Just travel separately or meet them at the gate.

Or go with them and take yourself off to a restaurant and have a nice breakfast for less Than £25.

Jackyjill6 · 02/10/2018 07:11

It's probably not going to be easy for anybody to be fair, but as PP have said, keeping it as stress free for your DF is paramount.
Part of that involves you and SM finding a way to not get upset with each other.

Amanduh · 02/10/2018 07:11

I don’t really get the problem here? She has passes so why wouldn't they use them? You can pay for the passes and go too or have breakfast elsewhere..?

ScabbyBabby · 02/10/2018 07:12

Companylovesmisery that's so mean spirited! Awful advice that will just make an already tough situation worse.

For the sake of making lovely memories for your dad and family harmony just go along with your step mum's plan, it really sounds like she has your father's best interest at heart which is the important bit surely? If you can't afford breakfast then have a coffee and enjoy the time with your dad.

cansu · 02/10/2018 07:13

Depends on airport I suppose but I would psy for lounge. Used one for first time this year and was worth every penny to not spend time seatching for seat and queuing in restaurants etc. Food so expensive in airport anyway.

NonaGrey · 02/10/2018 07:15

Let her have the angst of moving luggage, checking in alone and finding you later as she is the one who wants to do something without you.

^^ This is a fairly appalling attitude towards a woman dealing with a husband with Alzheimer’s tbh Company Seriously lacking in any empathy for what her life is like.

OP I wouldn’t ordinarily use the lounge if my party couldn’t join me but I do think your father’s condition is hugely relevant here.

That being said, no reason you have to join them, just wave them
off cheerfully and have a wander round the shops.

You have agreed to this trip to benefit your Dad OP it make sense that the trip should be arranged around supporting his needs.

OliviaStabler · 02/10/2018 07:15

For the sake of your DF, rise above it. She is being a cow but the focus should be on him and not her being petty. Go as a family and pay the £25.

Oysterbabe · 02/10/2018 07:17

Just pay the £25. I love an airport lounge.

Isitmybathtimeyet · 02/10/2018 07:18

She's doing what's best for your dad. You don't seem to like her much and I wonder how difficult you'll find this holiday if you get cross about everything she does.

BarbaraofSevillle · 02/10/2018 07:21

You can probably get a deal on the lounge pass if you look on Moneysavingexpert, Groupon etc and a full breakfast and a coffee in the airport could easily be £10-15,so it can be worth it to go in the lounge, especially if it will make things a bit nicer for your dad.

But your SM does sound a bit tight. If you're providing the accommodation, then they should at least contribute in other areas, eg pay for taxi and lounge pass and acknowledge that they've bumped the costs up by demanding day time flights.

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