To wait until the end of the year to TTC due to school year

[florapomandalexander]

DC 1 will be 2 in December and we are thinking about timing for dc2 as we are both really keen to have another child. We had talked about starting to ttc soon as not sure how long it will take etc, the only thing putting me off is that if I got pregnant over the next couple of months the potential baby would be among the youngest in their school year and this could put them at a disadvantage? I just feel like just turned 4 is so young to start school and there is such a difference between some of the older and younger ones at that point.

DH thinks it is not that big of a deal and shouldn't be a factor in our decision, we have family members who are summer born and it has not held them back etc but it just worries me a little. But then again we would prefer to not have too big an age gap and no idea how long it will take.

What would you do and wibu to wait just so they were in a different school year?

Thank you

How long did it take you to fall pregnant with DC1? That, along with your age, would be a factor for me. FWIW I am a late July baby and my mum says I found the first few months of school tough but was caught up by Christmas. Good luck whatever you decide x

Tbh, being young in the year is only one of many factors that cause children to not do so well at school in the early years eg low income, male, not speaking English, uneducated parents etc etc.
The fact you're asking this question sort of mitigates the issue.
Also you can defer the kids born in the summer term and start them the year after.

I think you don’t know how long it could take so you’re really limited in how much you can plan!

personal story, i was one of the youngest in my school year, and while it didn't hold me back or anything, it annoyed me because everyone could drink before i could, go clubbing etc. but its not that big a deal, most kids dont even think about it.

Summer borns are at a significant disadvantage. Every teacher I know has a winter baby (or planned one - I know one whose was born 4 weeks early on the last day of August)! I would just wait a few months personally (as long as age or fertility aren't a major issue). Then if it takes you a while to conceive and you're still trying this time next year I'd probably suck up having a summer born.

(My eldest is a summer born and is absolutely fine academic but emotionally and socially is rather immature - he'd have been better off being the eldest. My youngest is a September baby and it's made a huge difference).

I'd start shagging pronto

You said yourself you know summer borms who haven't been affected by it, so why would yours?

Ours is the youngest in his class and is doing just fine at 7yo. He is keeping up and is an energetic and curious little bean.

We were going for it like rabbits to conceive DS. He was born in Steptember and if he’d been a few days early he would have been in the year above. He never would have coped in the early years of school, and we are glad he’s one of the oldest rather than youngest.

When TTC for our second we were going to deliberately avoid due dates of June to August. We would have stopped TTC until the new year.

In the end DD was born in March.

If you decide to postpone to avoid a late summer baby, I'd probably aim for a November/December baby just in case it comes early.

My 2 yr old is December born and my baby was born in August. I feel the same but will hold her back if necessary. I know several people who have done that and it’s worked out well.

If you have a summerborn you can apply for admission out of normal age group so they start reception at 5, which is compulsory school age.

It's nonsense, I was always one of the youngest in my year and one of the highest achievers academically. DH is a November baby and struggled with school academically and in terms of maturity. DN is an August baby and is miles ahead of nursery peers nearly a year older. It's about environment and input (unless SEN).

I’m in a similar situation, we are ttc our first and I had the same concerns as you. However my OH was a very very late summer baby and always did just fine according to him and his parents so we are trying now. I’m currently a few days post-ovulation and if I’m pregnant the due date will be end of June.

I actually think it depends on whether it's a boy or girl. From personal experience it has more of an impact on boys especially in terms of size for the first few years, then emotional maturity for the next few. Girls seem to be less affected by it.

So since you can't choose whether you're having a boy or a girl I would probably avoid July / August if at all possible. Partly also because when you try to organise a birthday party no one is ever bloody here.

I have an August baby but live in Scotland so it doesn’t matter. Personally in England I’d probably take December off ttc but certainly not October nor early November.

If agree it’s an issue but you could just keep them back a year too?

We deliberately tried to avoid summer born with both of ours - one was September and one January. I was a summer baby and whilst academically it wasn't an issue it was a disadvantage when playing sport and looking back I was very immature compared to peers as a teenager - it actually stopped me going to university as at just turned 17 I wasn't ready to go.

Do a Google scholar search OP. There are lots of studies investigating how significant and long lasting the disadvantage is to summer born children in the education system and at what age/context they catch up.

You don't know how long it will take to get pregnant so you can't really plan it. If you end up with a summer born child you can apply for them to have a CSA reception start if you're worried they're not ready for school.

I would have hated to have to wave my just turned 4 year old off to school. It's too young. Mine are winter babies but I would have avoided trying in the months that would have resulted in a July/August baby.

It's so much more sensible in Scotland! You start school in August, but the dividing line is January /February (can't remember precisely) and iirc parents of a child born near the line can choose if they start at 4.5 or 5.5

I have 2 DD’s who are both a month off being the absolute youngest, one of them has some additional needs. We noticed it definitely in the infants part of primary that they definitely stood out as needing a bit more help, now as they have got older it has balanced itself out. You now wouldn’t be to tell where their birthdays fall. As a PP has said I’ve heard it affects boys more than girls.

Of course there are thousands cases of successful summer-borns and it's only one of many factors that predict success or not but being summer born is a big disadvantage with the effect showing right up to university level.

When you have a choice to conceive now or in two or three months, why would you not choose to give your future dc the advantage of being one of the oldest in their year? It's the same as giving them the advantage of choosing the best school you can or reading them stories.

Yes I think YABU. I really dislike this attitude that summer babies are disadvantaged. When I was pregnant with DS a colleague told me that I'd ruined his life by having a summer baby. I was just grateful to have a happy and healthy child.
Besides being August born hardly seems to have held the likes of Barack Obama back. Nor can I imagine Kate and Will having sleepless nights over the fact that all their children are Spring/ Summer born.

SEN occurs in children born at all times of year.

Just hold back a year in starting school. That's what I did with my daughter and it worked out brilliantly. She's now in university and she's always done very well in school.