AIBU to think SAHM isn't an artist if she doesn't produce art?

[windygallows]

Woman I know has been a SAHM for 25 years but refuses to be called a SAHM and instead claims to be/wants to be called an artist.

Her artistry is more like a hobby that she does every few months. She has built a studio in her backyard to produce art but isn't there much. She has never sold her work, never had a show, never been part of a group show, never had an open house, doesn't have a website. Of course you don't need to do these things to be an artist, but I think producing work is key!

Her DH is part of a sort of posh 'cultural milieu' and I'm sure claiming she's an artist because it's a more acceptable title but come on - can you be an artist if you don't produce art, just like are you a writer if you don't or rarely write or a musician if you don't or haven't produced music?

Meh. If she feels happier calling herself an artist, then so be it. It isn't really harming anyone.

WTF is a ‘cultural milieu’ ?! They sound like a right pair of wankers

I think there are bigger things to worry about than what another woman refers to herself as?

What's the problem?

Leave her alone. She's an artist if she says she is. Look at Tracey Emin.

I think the problem is cognitive dissonance - you are asked to refer to this woman as an artist when you know she isn't one.

I would struggle to care either way, but I'd be surprised someone part of a "posh cultural milieu" presumably full of actual artists would try to pretend to be one if they weren't?

Surely it'd be even more embarrassing to be faking around people who'd know?

You're right it's not harming anyone but am tired of her DH always referring to 'my wife, the artist'. sigh!

Plus I think it demonstrates some shame in admitting to be a SAHM.

It's a wanky way of saying I'm a SAHP and have a hobby.

Does she also talk about how busy she is at home because she is a chef and a teacher and a personal assistant too?

Maybe he says that to shame her? As in he's taking the piss? I might be wrong, but that's the way I'd take it if he said it the way you've described.

Maybe her life is the art in itself

Why do women sneer at other women so much?

I’m a model
I don’t actually model, I’ve never modelled ( apart from for my hairdressers apprentice 20 years ago) and to be honest it’s pretty unlikely anyone would ask me to model anything unless it’s for overweight 46 year olds who are a bit scruffy.
Even so

I think that’s really funny actually OP- so when people ask what she does she says she’s an artist? Lol

How do you know how often she's in her studio?

Next time her DH refers to his DW as an artist, ask when her next show will be or could you look at some of her recent art as you would like to purchase something. Maybe it will shut the irritating twat up.

Why do women sneer at other women so much?

Here we have it. Women have an opinion or disagree with another woman so they must be sneery, judgey or jealous.
Sometimes I think MN has a special secret society only open to the enlightened folk who never, ever think anything negative about anyone's choices no matter how ridiculous.

Maybe she is just producing works along a similar line to John Cage’s 4’33?

hmmm, well she "is" an artist isn't she?
does it really matter? They're not making out they have a ton of wealth from it or she is super successful at it?
my friend is in a choir, another plays a lot of tennis, another is a dancer. It defines them quite a bit...

And........

Perhaps it's an unfulfilled ambition that she refuses to give up on, who knows why she has never 'made it' or had an exhibition? life throws all sorts of crap at us that no one else can see. Perhaps this is a thread of sanity that she clings too?

You could be talking about my SIL

She's built a studio? Trying to find time to produce her artwork? Good on her. I always enjoy hearing about people pursuing their dreams, no matter what shape they come in.

I don't think there are any rules about how much you have to produce before you are allowed to call yourself an artist. How do you know what she does? Maybe she has a pile of sketchpads by her bed at night. Maybe she's thinking about what she wants to create all the time.

refuses to be called a SAHM and instead claims to be/wants to be called an artist

What form does this 'refusal' take? Who actually introduces themselves as a 'SAHM'? I was one for years and never did once.

I wouldn't give a shit about what she wants to call herself.

Here we have it. Women have an opinion or disagree with another woman so they must be sneery, judgey or jealous

There is a difference between holding forth an opinion and sneering and judging. There are examples of both on this thread.

Everyone needs a way of describing themselves that maintains their self-esteem. If she has been brought up with the phrase "just a housewife" or moves in circles where SAHMs are regarded as obsessed with children and with their brains gone to mush, I can understand why she prefers to view herself as an artist who is currently taking time out to bring up children.

montenuit
My guess is they wouldn't try to present their hobby as their career though.

I play a few instruments. I have never introduced myself as 'hi I'm Maisy and I'm a musician' not would DH say 'this is my wife, the musician'. It's a hobby that I enjoy and spend time on. It would be wanky and pretentious of me to start presenting it as anything more than a hobby.