AIBU to think SAHM isn't an artist if she doesn't produce art?

[windygallows]

Woman I know has been a SAHM for 25 years but refuses to be called a SAHM and instead claims to be/wants to be called an artist.

Her artistry is more like a hobby that she does every few months. She has built a studio in her backyard to produce art but isn't there much. She has never sold her work, never had a show, never been part of a group show, never had an open house, doesn't have a website. Of course you don't need to do these things to be an artist, but I think producing work is key!

Her DH is part of a sort of posh 'cultural milieu' and I'm sure claiming she's an artist because it's a more acceptable title but come on - can you be an artist if you don't produce art, just like are you a writer if you don't or rarely write or a musician if you don't or haven't produced music?

How does it effect you OP?

Why not just say 'I am a stay at home parent'? It's a perfectly reasonable choice.
Not in your eyes clearly judging by the amount of criticism of SAHMs you engage in.

Faking accomplishments to look better in the eyes of others is actually narcissism

How do you know what her accomplishments are? The OP probably doesn't.

And it’s not ok to say you’re an artist or musician if you aren’t because there are truly talented people out there who ARE the real deal

How do you that she isn't 'truly talented'? In any event, who gets to decide? .

You're jumping on a bandwagon here.

When I took 2 years unpaid leave from work I still referred to myself by my post rather than SAHM. And I will continue to do so when I retire. Leave this lady alone.

Maybe she’s struggling to get that first foot off the ground so her husband is trying to promote her anyway he can. You sound like a jealous friend not very supportive at all. Have they ever said anything mean about stay at home parents?

I have an acquaintance on fb who had suddenly announced she is a 'new artist living in xx'. Has had some drawings put up in a nearby community centre (anyone can do this, doesn't require talent/a name). Is hoping to SELL some drawings.
I will probably sound awful saying this but the average 10 year old could draw better. It gets me because she isn't working, thinks this is her new career and is completely deluded! IMO it's quite insulting to those who studied at art college ted to just decide to label yourself as an 'artist' with no experience and zero talent.
I am all for someone trying something new and working to improve themselves, but you can't just leap from a to a or we 'd all be doing it.

hoppinggreen that's a coincidence! I'm a dancer and musician. Luckily no one calls me out on it...........

LydiaLunch7
In which case I'm a chef and a baker because I do both of those things and I'm quite good at them.
DH is also a landscape gardener and horticultural expert.

The thing is calling either of us those things would be narcissism. I enjoy baking. I'm not a baker and to say I was would be grossly talking up a hobby. DH is really talented with gardening things and is designing our new garden layout. But he's not a landscape gardener and to talk his hobby up would be an insult to those people who are landscape gardeners.

And as for not seeing her producing work doesn’t mean she isn’t. About 95% of my creative work is for apps and magazines. It doesn’t get credited in my name because no one gives a stuff who designed their latest cross stitch pattern or their colour in page.

It's a pretentious attempt to create an image of lovely artist scanning around their studio all day doing art. Reality is SAHP enjoys drawing and painting

Is it? How do you know? You have literally no idea what this woman does with her time.

You just attacked a poster for mentioning the judging and sneering on this thread, and then this.

So much nastiness and meaness.

That sounds like a cool job Feefee 😊

Not in your eyes clearly judging by the amount of criticism of SAHMs you engage in.
Except I'm very clear I have zero negative feelings towards women making whatever choice is right for their family.

I do take issue with the group of SAHP who are of the they are chefs and cleaners and childcare workers and teachers and nurses and taxi drivers because they happen to do normal life stuff.
I do think it's a shame when (usually women) plough money into MLMs and spend lots of money making tat for Facebook because I think faux encouragement and 'you go hun' is lying. Wouldn't it be nicer for someone who wanted to start their own business to do a course, get really good at it rather than sell awful cupcakes because all her huns have blindly said 'you go hun'.
That's not an issue with SAHP. That's an issue with people excessively talking up fairly basic things (like claiming to be an artist when you have a hobby).

In which case I'm a chef and a baker because I do both of those things and I'm quite good at them.

Well, if you want to tell people that, it's fine. You wouldn't find me moaning about it on the internet.

It’s not sneering, it’s being confounded by the lack of authenticity. Faking accomplishments to look better in the eyes of others is actually narcissism. And it’s not ok to say you’re an artist or musician if you aren’t because there are truly talented people out there who ARE the real deal.

This exactly.

LydiaLunch7
Of course I could tell people that. But it wouldnt male me a chef. It would be a total delusion.
And anyone who knew me in real life would be well within their rights to think 'bloody hell Maisy, we all cook some good meals

I think its a phenomenon of the idle well off. I worked in a private school in SE London for years. Most of the very well off SAHM were artists i.e. had studios installed, most very expensive. I have finds who are artists who have spent years producing art and making it work for them. For mr its the idea that money can afford you any title without evidence of produce or ACTUAL work in the area.

You sound so profoundly unpleasant OP

My son sells a lot of his art work. He also has an everyday job. He would not describe himself to a new acquaintance as an artist precisely because doing so leads to the kind of comments seen here. He finds it tiresome and intrusive. Simpler just to mention the office.

MaisyPops

Perhaps so, but if they got worked up about it enough to post online moaning about you, I'd tell them the same thing in their thread. Who cares if she wants to call herself a baker? Stop being a dick about your "friend" behind her back.

But it wouldnt male me a chef. It would be a total delusion. And anyone who knew me in real life would be well within their rights to think 'bloody hell Maisy, we all cook some good meals

But if you set up a separate chef's kitchen, and created some menus for private dinner parties, did a little outside catering around family commitments, you could call yourself a private caterer or whatever.

Which is the equivalent of what this woman is doing. She has set up a artist's studio and is producing/working on her art. Just not enough to please the OP.

It is assburgers just started back up after a long period of sickness and enjoyed explaining it to the esa woman who thought there was no way I’d be able to earn doing it. I’m earning plenty lol. The plan was to work at it part time and then supplement it with education work but I’ve picked up so much work it’s all good.

But the epilepsy support group I go to don’t understand why I don’t have tangible products that are sold in a shop. They don’t understand that my doodles on my iPad is my artwork.

Well given that men can identify as women, I’m probably not going to lose sleep over this one.

Tbh the one who sounds ridiculous is the DH. If she got a job as Tesco would he constantly refer to My Wife, The Cashier.
What's wrong with referring to her by her name? Oh look, he's Jenny. Meet Jenny, my wife.

LydiaLunch7
But isn't the point that people may have opinion but not share them?

E.g. Someone I went to university with insists on going on endlessly about how they are an entrepreneur and a businesswoman. They aren't. They have been part of 3 MLMs in the last few years. I've politely declined any involvement, don't want to be hosting parties or anything lile that because I think MLMs are damaging to women and prey on women to make those at the top wealthy. I've even distanced myself from that friend because she's now gone to a new MLM on pre-release (because the earlier you join the MLM the higher up the pyramid you get) and I find the whole thing unethical.
I'm quite openly against MLMs. I wouldnt go out my way to her and say by the way Poonique is a manipulative organisation who prays largely on SAHM and can financially ruin them. If there's an MLM thread on MN then I'm quite blunt about my feelings about women claiming to be entrepreneurs when it's all selfies and inspirational quotes.